My ex hadn't seen our son since Sept. He lives 4 hrs away. Mon. night I got a text from him saying that he was at his parents & I could bring our son over on Tues. So I took him over there at 5:45 Tues evening. I packed our son enough clothes to stay til Sun. Our divorce agreement states that he gets him Tues. at 6 til Sun. at 6. Yesterday he sends me a text about 6 asking where I want to meet to pick up our son. I told him this was his week & I would pick him up Sun. He says he has to leave & he guesses he will just let our son stay w/his parents since I don't "want him". The thing of it is...I always want our son..& I always have him...I am the one that takes care of him all the time. It seemed to me like he didn't want him & neither did his parents. I feel like they should spend time w/him b/c he misses his dad & loves seeing him. Am I wrong for doing that b/c now I'm thinking about just going&getting him. I just thought that they should share some responsibilities.
2007-11-23 08:55:46 · 8 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i know exactly what you are talking about!! i would go and get him. it is apparent the dad had enough and he was ready to leave.... don't let him use a guilt trip on you....... by saying you don't want him. the dad knows you do. he just didn't want the responsibility. if he doesn't want the time with you r son that the court ordered than that's his fault. it is sad and it only hurts the child. but that's his choice. if you havent heard from him since Sept. than i wouldn't even answer his text if he is going to be like that.
2007-11-23 09:13:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get your son. Document this. Go back to a mediator with your ex to calmly discuss this matter and how to resolve it. You and your son need to know EXACTLY when and for how long your son will be visiting with your ex. It needs to be on a regular basis for the emotional well-being of your son. (more than once every few months!) You really need to CALMLY discuss this with your ex. Arrange a meeting place half way since you guys live 4 hours apart (why is that, by the way?! Kind of makes it inconvenient to coparent)... and do that at least every other weekend or so.
Since you two obviously cannot communicate effectively you need to contact a mediator ASAP. Work this out, call to clarify the times and dates of visits... make this a priority. Don't let your personal feeling of resentment and anger be seen/felt by your son. It's not his fault and you will, unintentionally, end up making HIM feel like he's the problem.
2007-11-23 17:12:14 · answer #2 · answered by Latin_Lvr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people should share responsibility. it's like they want to eat a piece of the pie, but not help make it. i would stick to the "routine" and not venture away from it. it is his responsibility to make damn sure that he has the time to take his son and not plan something at the time. a judge sits this kind of stuff up for a reason - so both parents are not cheated out of their time. if you want a break then let your child go. if you prefer to keep you're child then do it. you can't let other people call the shots you're the mother.
2007-11-23 17:03:33 · answer #3 · answered by flavours_of_entanglement 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me quote you here.
"I just thought that they should share some responsibilities."
Who is "they" ?
You and your ex made your son not them.Stop acting like a baby and pick your son up even if it is earlier than agreed on.You child will be the one to feel like a fifth wheel and he didnt ask to be born.
2007-11-23 17:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by Joox 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to stop thinking that this man is ever going to change. He did not change his selfish and childish behavior for you, so what makes you think he will do the same for your son?
All you can do is the best that you can. He is out of your control.
Good luck. I will pray for you.
2007-11-23 17:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call your ex-inlaws...Ask how things are going and what they'd like to do. Talk to your son and get his take on what he'd like...
If the grandparents are happy to see him and he's happy-let him stay. If not..RUN and get him.
2007-11-23 17:00:08 · answer #6 · answered by Dreamweaver back for more 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should go get him and let him know that you are thrilled to have him....If him or his parents don't want him there, the kid will know it and feel like nobody wants him...Yes, all the family should share in the responsibilities, but the Child's emotional state trumps all the trivial disagrrements....
2007-11-23 17:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by John[nottheapostle] 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
John E. said it very well
2007-11-23 17:13:33 · answer #8 · answered by Sheila 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋