i have 2 beautifull babies and there're father is great but he and i dont get a long at all with me not having a place to live due to domestic filince between him and myself i feel i have no choice but to go to my oldest daughter home and let him keep the girls since hes got a very very well paying job and a beautifull home i feel i have nothing to offer my babies for now but to leave them with him breaks my hart what do i do?
2007-11-23 07:39:06 · 7 answers · asked by island girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he was violent with you, why would you leave your babies with him?
There are options out there for people in need.
2007-11-23 07:43:38 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what's best for the kids. You ALWAYS do what's best for the kids.
I'm sorry that your marriage isn't working out. I've been there before and I know how you feel. I was in the same position when my ex and I divorced. My daughter was just over a year old and I loved her to death, but I knew that once he and I separated, I would not be able to care for her...and he could. He had a well paying job and a roof over his head and he could afford to feed her. I knew that for a good while after we separated that it would be difficult to even feed myself. And so, knowing that with him she would be well cared for, I let him have her.
The key is to always remember that your children need you. They need you just as much as they need food and clothing and a roof over their heads. So even if they may live full time with him, you MAKE SURE that you see those kids. Never abandon them. Never give up. They need to see you no matter what. When you go through the divorce make sure that you have visitation rights. Even if you're living at your eldest daughter's home, you can have them over for a Saturday or all weekend...that is your right as a parent and is what they need as children.
Throughout this entire ordeal though, put them first. Just because you don't want to give them up doesn't mean it may not be the right thing for you to do.
And there is a silver lining. After having full custody of my daughter for a year, my ex gave her up. Practically completely. I now have full physical custody. I'm in a much better place and I'm financially stable and I can care for her. So never give up hope. Just give yourself time to get back on your feet, and THEN get those kids back. But in the meantime, never forget that even if he has them full-time, those kids need to see you. Don't give that up. You don't have to.
2007-11-23 07:53:10 · answer #2 · answered by (*~.butterfly.~*) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since there was domestic violence between you and the father, you need counseling and help with that and a shelter where you and the girls can go. If he keeps your daughters, there is a good chance that they will also get into a domestic violence situation and suffer just as you are now in their future relationships and marriages. Once you file for divorce that beautiful home may be yours and you will get child support to help you. I will give you a link with a phone number to call and shelters available in your area as well as counseling to help you. Good Luck to you!!
2007-11-23 07:53:19 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if he is violent at ALL he should not have babies in the house. If you leave you have to take them with you. Babies don't need a beautiful house they need to be safe! Someone who will get violent with you could easily get violent with children too. You may not have seen him do that yet but the chance of it is too scary to contemplate. If you leave you can get some financial help for you and the girls.
2007-11-23 07:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by MissWong 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHy would you leave your kids with an abusive man? File for divorce if you are married if not go to the courts and file charges against him. Go on public aide if you have to until you can get a good paying job, but dont leave your kids. take them with you to your daughters or you may never see them again and you have no idea what he may do to them.
2007-11-23 07:45:42 · answer #5 · answered by llexiann30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what is best for your kids.... so go to your daughters, but make sure you agree to some type of visitation before and have it in writing.
Your kids are most important now and it seems you feel he can do the better job, so let him. There is nothing wrong with that.... it's something to behold to have a mother who can see past what she wants to see what is best for her kids.
2007-11-23 07:42:55 · answer #6 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try growing up and and being a mom
2007-11-23 07:42:33 · answer #7 · answered by matakovich602 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋