And most of the food? Also he is always complaining about the bills, lights, etc. If we run out of milk or butter he will make a big deal about it. Also when we go out and he pays for dinner if its over $70 he will, be like.... $70 gone like that! I would think if you were trying to be romantic and dine out you would not say things like that. We have been together now for three years, he has always been like this and it really bugs me. I have a son so I feel like I have to pay half. But I always thought my future husband would be different. And I am usually unhappy and go to bed sleepy and just depressed.
2007-11-23 07:05:02 · 39 answers · asked by ~*~Amie~*~ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he sounds like a skinflint... drop him before u have a kid together
2007-11-23 09:32:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this been going on over the last past three years and he continue on acting this way? Please tell my haven't you move on your own and let stay to himself? He is not going to change, lady! What about him is keeping you there? This guy is clearly showing you that he is not the future husband type of guy for you. Is your boyfriend is your child father or not?
If you two are living together as boyfriend and girlfriend. And yes you should paid half living expenses unless he agree upon it before you two move in together. If he have problem with things running out at the house like milk and butter, etc then should pick in. He know you have a child to feed so, what is his issue? If he got problem spending $70 for the two of to dine out, then he should go to all you can eat place for $7.99 and be happy. Sound to me he want you to paid for half of every thing even when the two of you dine out as one.
Well, I guess that he knows that he makes $51k more than you, but is no reason for him to carry on this way. Unless that he is a cheap, selfish, jerk and really care less about you as his girlfriend. I wouldn't be surprise that he think you try to used him. This kind of guy you shouldn't waste any more your time with him. I would recommend that you improve your ability to earn more money, keep your panties on you butt and let this jerk go!
2007-11-23 08:09:43 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is he's not your husband, thus, he's not obligated to foot the bill for everything. Perhaps he feels that you are not contributing enough. If you are on a domestic partnership, you are supposed to contribute towards the household expenses on an equal manner.
For godsake, if the $3.50 that a gallon of milk costs pays for free rent for you and your son, by all means, buy the stupid milk... is a small price to pay for all the commodities that you are getting.
My guess is that you like to live the lifestyle that he provides but doesn't want to contribute equally which is not fair to him. Let's see how much would you have to downscale if you would live on your own with your salary only... I'm sure that you wouldn't have 70 dollar meals.
Good luck
2007-11-23 07:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's real easy to look at relationships in black and white, and where each person contributes their "half." In reality, it rarely works out this way. I've been married for almost 20 years, and I quit working full time 18 years ago when I was pregnant with our first child. Obviously, I can't pay 1/2 of anything, because I am dependent upon my husband for financial support. But--I don't see it that way, and neither does he. We view our relationship as a partnership, I have my jobs that I do, and he has his that he does, and we do some things together. He doesn't look at the income he makes as "his" money, it's "our" money, and it's the family's money. It's our job (his and mine) to make sure the family's resources are best spent.
You and your boyfriend need to have a talk about how you both look at money issues, and I'd reccommend you have this talk in the presence of a couples counselor. Talks about money usually tend to be very tense--having that impartial 3rd party there can help lessen the tension, somewhat.
You also have to look at this objectively--hard to do, I know. You're not going to change your boyfriend, and I know many people who make a very healthy salary who are the biggest cheapskates I know. I know a guy who gets upset with his wife if she pays $.03 more a gallon on gas when she could've driven 10 miles out of her way and gotten it cheaper. When she tries to point out the folly in this thinking (you're spending more $$ getting to the cheap gas than you're saving on it) he blows. She accepts this trait in him now, and simply spends the extra time getting the cheap gas. So you can either accept this character trait in your current boyfriend, or you consider ending the relationship. He's not going to change, and you shouldn't expect him to. Either accept him as he is, or move on. My advise would be to move on--because I don't think you'll be able to accept him as is, you're unhappy with him already. Good luck to you and your son.
2007-11-24 10:37:10 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were not with him, you would still have bills. However - he makes enough to completely support you. This is just an agreement he evidentually wants. Consider this as a RED FLAG for the future. In marriage, it could get worse.
The food bill is one of the largest bills. He should do shopping .. and be responsible for outages - if he is going to complain about not having something in the fridge. Let him do it for awhile - and you complain to him when he lets something run out in the fridge. See how he likes doing the job .. and getting the same treatment which he dishes out to you.
Dinner could be NO FUN .. with someone who says those things. It caould also make you dread going anywhere with him .. that he has to pay. That is misery .. and makes life miserable on a daily basis.
If he has always been this way .. then he probably will not change .. and in all probabiltiy - he will get worse in the future years. I have heard of men who are like this - and they always want their wives to always hold a job -- and seem to go postal if the wives don't have employment .. even after giving birth to their children.
Think about the future, and what it may hold with him .. and the way he is. Think about his making you depressed. When you are unhappy - then it simply is NOT working for you.
That fact, is hard to face. But the truth, is the truth.
If you can, clear your feelings of being angry .. and consider all things about him. Weigh it. Is he 'the one" for you? Do you want to live with this thing that really bugs you, makes you unhappy & depressed .. for the rest of your life?
Think about it.
Your decision will either put it/him in your life forever .. or take it/him out of your life.
You DON"T have to put up with this.
2007-11-23 07:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by Tara 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to lose this guy and find someone else. If he loved you he would be paying the bills without complaining and letting you keep your money since he makes almost 3 times as much as you. You can be happier with someone who is making the same amount of money or less and concentrating on the relationship rather than the money.
Move out, find some new friends, do things where you may meet the right man, and forget him!!
2007-11-23 07:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
does your bf normally pay for things. perhaps it's a habit or a ego thing that causes him to act this way. talk to him ab out it if your unhappy. from my experience, in a relationship it takes sacrifice and compromise and all egos aside. it takes two to tango. its human nature for the man to be the dominant in a relationship, however it is the millenium so both genders are equal. try talking it out. My girlfriend is not as superficial as alot of other girls that i've met in the past so money or finances shouldn't be the most important factor. just being happy and content with each other will surpass any obstacles that come your way. but dig deep and see if he is someone that you can see being with for the long run. I've been married for 4 yrs and my wife and I have gone through many speed bumps but I wouldn't trade her for the world or $70 of course.
2007-11-23 07:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by Dcloser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting...Sounds like he is more concerned about the money than he is the relationship...
My husband pays all the bills of the household; mortgage, utilities, car maintenance, childcare and food...He feels it is his responsibility as the man to do so...Out of my income I pay for food as well, we share in clothing for the kids and I pay for most of the activities...My income is actually considered "extra" income in the family...We also use alot of my income for investments, savings, allowances for the kids, etc...
It is a team effort so when you say 50/50 you take everything as a whole into account, not just money...You don't make as much as he does so your % of $$ contributed towards your overall 50% of everything should not be equal to his % of $$ since you don't bring home equal pay...You should be making up your what you lack in income in other areas to reach your 50% contribution to the relationship in its entirety...I hope that makes sense to you!
If you are unhappy and go to bed depressed it sounds like you guys really need to talk...You need to be completely upfront and honest about everything...Sounds like some things need to change and you are going to have to figure out for yourself what those things are! Please figure them out before you marry this man as he may not be the one for you! It's been 3 years and if he's been this way all along, chances are...He's not going to change!
Hope this helps! Best of wishes sweety!
2007-11-23 10:28:14 · answer #8 · answered by Nik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy, then leave, or work it out. You say you are depressed when you go to bed, so are there other problems besides the money?
Ha\ve you talked to him about this, and how it makes you feel?
If he has been like this since day 1, I doubt he will change when in a marriage.
2007-11-23 07:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by Kelly C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While it is true that the cost of housing and living is not related to one's income, if I were making $80K/year and my GF was making $29K/year, I would pay more than my fair share of the bills since I was more able. And yes, men can be a$$h*#s at times and not be aware of how they sound. I have a friend who is in the same situation and he complains and wants her to get more education so she can make more money. Good luck!
2007-11-23 07:16:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is one cheap ***.
No you do not pay half of the bills you pay by %.
50% of his pay goes on paying bills.......well 50% of your pay will also go on paying bills.
You go out for a meal and the bill is $100.00. He pays the $100.00 and you leave a $20.00 tip.
29,000 represent 36% of 80,000.
Truth is, he's dating you till he meets someone better to his eyes. When a man acts like a cheap selfcentered idiot it's cause he's one.
2007-11-23 07:17:40 · answer #11 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋