how to tell my/his parents that im pregnant...?

Question

~my fiance and i are 16- go ahead and judge-i don't care
we need to tell our parents that im pregnant and keeping the baby..
ONLY:
~ my parents are uber-christian and are totaly against pre-marital sex
~ and his dad has violent anger issues..

how should we break it to them...

Answer 1

Simply tell them,,,and let them be the one's to judge. No judging done here. If they are christian,,,like you say they are-then they will have the right to get mad, but not to judge or be ugly towards you or him! Christian's do not judge, especially since they know Jesus doesn't judge! As far as his dad,,,I would tell him,,,and perhaps with a trusted adult there for supervision-the moment he snapped,,,I would leave. Period. No one has the right to be abusive,,,physically or verbally! Most would like to see someone wait till they are married...but it doesn't happen like a fairytale all the time. The great news is that you are being completely mature at 16 and already are taking responsibility for your actions! Deciding to tell your parents is a huge step, and I commend you on that! As well as keeping the baby. You will be very happy that you did,,,and when you look back in 10 years...w/your precious baby-you'll know that you made the right decision and things won't be as bad as they seem right now. Good luck sweetie!

Answer 2

Well my friend went thru this same problem..

Her dad is a pastor... So he's UBER-christian to.
If I were you I would tell your parents first just beucase maybe you could have your parents talk to his dad. Then you don't have to worry about talking to HIS dad then.

Well, back to tell your parents... THE SOONER THE BETTER! Her dad wouldn't even talk to her for a couple days... So the sooner you get it done the better. DOn't tell your mom THEN your dad or vice-versa. THAT NEVER WORKS. Somehow the other one WILL find out... And it would be better if you sat down and talked to them. Maybe try and do it just you. Not with ur fiance....

Hey there gonna have to forgive you sometime.
It's great that you wanna keep the baby but - make sure this is the choice.
Do you relize that you know how you have those moments where you just go and do things..
Like example.. Where you just go and play on the computer?
Or you go and see the movies with your friends...
You won't be able to do that anymore WITHOUT them being there unless someone watch's them.
Not saying that you should give up the baby er anything... Just letting you know..

<3 I hope EVERYTHING goes well..! Xoxo <3

Answer 3

Sounds like Long distance should be your choice! No one should judge you, first they are not you and are not in your situation. Second it takes a lot of guts to keep the baby and it will take a lot of work when the little crumb snatcher shows up.

If your parents are uber-Christian then they are more against abortion then pre-martial sex. So you have something on your side there.
As for the anger management candidate, assaulting a 16 year old in any state is serious.

Good luck.

Answer 4

As you are only 16 you parents may have some control over your decision. if I were you i would wait until it is too late for an abortion (I know this is not what you want but my friends Mum forced her and as she was at home and only 16 she had no choice :( ) then tell your parents in a nice way like wrap up a baby grow for a christmas present or something. Christmas is a time for family and forgiveness so they have to practice what they preach. I know they will be dissappointed that you didn't follow their way of life but if you are calm, respectful and appear collected, informed and adult about this then they will at least be reassured.
Remember its hard for then to accept that you are longer a little girl and you will be a mummy before you get married. As he is already your fiance have you considered marriage before the baby arrives, this will at least be a comprimise and your parents will be reassured that you are serious together.
As for his dad I would tell him in a firm way and leave. You cannot let his anger cause you stress when pregnant. Maybe even put it in a letter and then give him time to take the news in first before approaching him. Make sure he feels respected and considered too. But make it clear that you have made your decision and it's final.
At the end of the day you are both old enough to get married, have sex and do what you like.. I wish you every happiness and i hope you have thought this out thoroughly so you can provide you baby a stable and loving home.

Answer 5

First do not do it alone. His dad has a temper that is not a good thing. If you go to church do it with your pastor or your parents pastor. If possible have a place to stay for a couple days for you and your bf. tell the parents and leave them for a couple days to cool down and thank about it.
Say ok we can talk for one hour, I am pg, we are in love,and so forth for an hour. At the end of the hour so ok we will get back together in 48 hours we will meet again and talk about it. Than leave and go to the safe spot.
Have answers for them. What are your plans? housing, money, school and so forth. Give them these answers let them stir it over for a couple days and they will come back saying what they think.
Be real your two can not stay in school both work full time and raise a kid. think it out and have very defined details to give them. Who will help out and when? what will happen if you are short on money ? what are the limits you expect from them? My parents baby their grandkids full time but only if they would take payment for that. granted it was only about $1.00 and hour but they still had to take some payment

Answer 6

The first thing is probably to figure out how you are supporting the child. Not your parents, you. How will you finish school while waking every two hours to feed your baby, or try to stop his/her crying? How will you buy baby food? How will you buy baby clothes and toys and furniture? Where will you live? Where will the baby live? How will you pay the doctors' bills (both for your pregnancy and birth, and the baby's once born)? This will be part of what you need to tell them, to show that you are responsible enough to do what is necessary and be good parents.

Then, think about why you're afraid to tell your parents. Specifically, I mean. What kind of reaction do you fear you'll get? What do you think the consequences would be? How can you prepare for this?

For example, it sounds like you fear that his father will physically threaten you or your his son. Then how can you minimize that risk? By telling him in a public place so that he might be constrained by others watching? By being prepared to call the police to report assault if he attacks either of you?

I'm not sure what you fear from your parents. That they'd throw you out? Insist you give up your child for adoption? Forbid your seeing your lover? Insist that you continue school and deal with the baby yourself? Be angry and fearful for you, getting a ton of responsibility dumped on you at 16? ... what could you do to minimize this? Demonstrate that you can show the responsibility to deal with the consequences, that you have a plan to cope with whatever might come up. If they insist that you give up your baby for adoption, are you willing to move out and earn your own keep and take care of the baby yourself, to stick by your decision? Is your lover willing to do the same to help support you and your child?

Answer 7

well, figure out a plan for how you are going to take care of and support the baby.
explain to them how you will pay for diapers, food, (and day care if you will be working or going to school), health insurance for the baby, hospital and doctor bills, etc. Tell them your plan for finishing school or getting a job.
Basically most parents are concerned because the 16-year-old really cannot take care of a baby - cannot support it financially or emotionally.
Where will you and your fiance live? how will you pay rent?
most parents are worried that this means you won't be able to finish school and get a good job to support yourself.
these are your parents concerns and why they are upset. because having sex just got you into a responsibility you don't understand and cannot assume, and a lot of it falls on them.

Answer 8

You and your fiance need to tell both your parents all at once having a nice dinner together. Your parents and his violent dad is not going to cause a nasty scene at dinner with the "soon to be family" there. Tell them exactly whats going on, and don't get nervous, it will soon be over with. There your parents and will love you anyway. Good luck!

Answer 9

You knew about your parent's Christian attitude and his father's anger issues before you made the decision to have unprotected sex. Sit down with all the parents and tell them directly. They deserve at least that much respect.

Your "I don't care" attitude clearly indicates you are far too young and immature to be parents. I would strongly urge you two to stop seeing each other, make arrangements now to give the baby up for adoption, and then finish school. This way you and the baby will all have a decent chance at having a good life. If you go on with your selfish attitude you and the baby will suffer immeasurably.

Answer 10

I cant imagine being engaged at my age, much less having a baby. However, my mom was about your age when she got pregnant with me. Im glad you've decided to keep the baby. Now you just need to sit down with them and tell them straight out. I know this will be hard, but it's better to do it sooner or later. Just start with whichever family you think will handle it the best, and maybe they can help with the other family. This is going to be a hard time for all of you, so just keep your chin up for the babies sake. Good luck.