She is a very great child just thinks we are not fair. She works and goes 2 school. She got mad over us charging her and everyone else one dollar for a cd. I don't understand why she made a big deal out of it and now says she hates my husband(likes him when she wants something). I have been up all night trying to figure out what to say 2 her. I love her dearly. She is my life..What do I do to show her how lucky she really is?
2007-11-23 04:13:37 · 22 answers · asked by bree4u2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a 13yr old girl. Almost the same situation. At times, I feel like she's unappreciative. I do everything I can for her and my son (10yrs) but the minute she don't get her way then I'm "the worse mother". So I understand!!! Charging her $1 for a CD is nothing...if my kids want something then they have to go above and beyond on chores. They work for it. You're not doing anything wrong. She's being ungrateful and just wanting handouts. Life don't work that way.
2007-11-23 04:23:54 · answer #1 · answered by Simply Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Careful---teens learn how to manipulate their parents by putting them on a guilt trip. Right now she wants you and your husband to feel guilty for doing something she thinks is unfair. It's normal for them to try to do this, but the trick is not to fall into the trap or it will be a continuing problem. Nip it in the bud. Don't back down after you have made a decision just because she is "unhappy." You are the mom. If you let her manipulate you then you cede control to her.
By the way, all teenagers think their lives and their parents are the most terrible in the world. And nothing you do, say, or buy, will change that. Eventually as they get older they realize their life wasn't so bad after all.
2007-11-23 04:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by CarolSandyToes1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a typical teenager, don't over worry about it i have been through that type of thing also, our teenage girls thought they were the most mistreated people on earth, but in the real world they were treated very well, had more things than a lot of people had, at that age the world should revolve around them, they think, just keep teaching them right and wrong and don't let her black mail you into things by her trowing fits and she will eventually get past this stage and thank you for all you did and don't do, ours did, and she doesn't hate you that is just her way of trying to make you feel bad, don't buy into that, we she says that just tell her how much you love her and what you are doing is what is best for her and the family
2007-11-23 04:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by George 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Charging her and everyone else for a cd? What does that mean?
All 15 yr old girls think life is awful! They all hate their parents unless they are actively in the process of receiving gifts/favors.
Maybe you should help her clean her room, take her "garbage stuff" down to the shelter where some 15 year old mother of two would be THRILLED to have it!
Otherwise..just tell her..she was out of line. she owes an apology and tell her since she hates your husband..here is your dollar back..forget about the cd all together. okay sweetie? dinners ready..we are having your favorite..ASPERAGUS!
2007-11-23 04:18:54 · answer #4 · answered by foxinsox 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
2 of my 3 kids went through a "sullen" period in their teens. Overly dramatic, no one understands me, you're trying to keep me from having any fun, you're too critical, you're not fair, etc etc etc....
All 3 turned out fine(one is even a Cop). As they get older they do, usually, grow out of this phase. My only piece of advice is to not let these disagreements turn disproportionately ugly. Don't yell. Don't fight. Just kindly tell her like it is. Be gentle but rock steady. A very wise person I know uses the term "velvet hammer".
Don't let the fear of "losing" her keep you from being the parent. Once you abdicate the role of parent in favor of being a friend you will have lost the battle.
2007-11-23 04:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by Michael 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Melanie T has the perfect response. But you really shouldn't be beating yourself up. If she's mad at you it means you've given her boundries, which is a good thing. You sound as though you're both very caring sensible parents. She's lucky to have you both
2007-11-23 04:22:02 · answer #6 · answered by Linda K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remind her how much you love her, even when she says she hates you. Just remind her that you want her to be happy, even when she says her life sucks. My 14-year-old gets like this sometimes too, mostly it's a ploy to get us to bend to her will. We don't bend...but we do counter every hateful thing she says with a loving thing. It takes the wind out of her sails, and we are right there with open arms the moment she is ready to come back to us...usually a few hours later.
Best of luck to you.
2007-11-23 04:17:40 · answer #7 · answered by Melanie T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should be very grateful for what she has. maybe something is going on in her life. Maybe if she has a boyfriend then something happened with them. Maybe she had a fight with one of her best friends maybe something is going on in school. maybe she is just under alot of stress. maybe u should have mother and daughter days out. That is where u plan a day and spend time with her and go to the mall or wherever she wants. My mom and i do that all the time
2007-11-23 04:22:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to my life, I have 6 teenagers living in my house and trust me. Let it go. They are raging hormones and never make any sense. They get upset over nothing and are really nice when they want something. It's all about them. Just let it go and do your thing. Don't explain anything to them except their life is not a democracy, you are in charge and if they want to be a bummer to be around, go to their room. You do not have to be subjected to them being rude and a bummer. Ignore their bad behavior and do not condone it. Good luck. It does not get better until they are older! lol.
2007-11-23 04:23:12 · answer #9 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is just being a normal teenager with ups and downs caused by hormones. Be glad she is not out there doing drugs, having sex and coming in at any time of the night.
2007-11-23 04:19:05 · answer #10 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋