I will give thumbs up to anyone who...?

Question

can say something to make me laugh!
And the person that cracks me up the most, will get best answer!

Answer 1

this is why i love walmart:As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"

Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.

Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"

Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

Hold indoor shopping cart races.

In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.

Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)

Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

Play with the automatic doors.

Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

"Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.

Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."

Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.

Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.

Take bets on the battle from above.

Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say, "Hm... I thought the customer was always right!"

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.

TP as much of the store as possible before they stop you.

Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.

Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.

Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares and see what happens.

Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.

When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."

When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"

When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.

While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

Answer 2

Oh, Crap. I'm horrible at that kind of stuff.....
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.



2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.



4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."



5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.



6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds"



7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."



8. Don't use any punctuation



9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.



10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.



11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."



12. Sing Along At The Opera.



13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?



14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.





17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"



18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"


And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
Its Called .......therapy

Answer 3

1. Vikings used the skulls of their enemies as drinking vessels.
2. Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
3. There are over 58 million dogs in the US. (aweosme!)
4. The human eye blinks an average of 4,200,000 times a year.
5. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
6. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Answer 4

WQ: While RVD Sandman and Sabu are all great wrestlers they're getting a little older RVD would still do great but I know that Sabu's body is really beat up, so I say Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles, and Rey Mysterio would win.

Answer 5

A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at ''Lovers' Cove'' where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
''NO!'' yelled the blonde.

The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.

''NO!'' the blonde yelled again.

Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.

''Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?'' asked the guy.

''For the last time, NO!'' said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked, ''Well, why the hell not?''

The blonde looked at him and said, ''Because I wanna stay up here with you.''

Answer 6

Go to my 360 page and look at my pics. If those dont make you laugh, nothing will.

Answer 7

How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant guy.

How do you kill a yellow elephant? You hold it's nose until it turns blue and kill him with a blue elephant gun.

That came from my 9 year old daughter ... she thought that would make you laugh.

Answer 8

TRUE!

Answer 9

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
TEHETEHETEHETEHETEHETEHETEHETEHETEHETEHETEHETEHE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That was fun.