When I come home, I have a tendency to just kick off my shoes and leave them. This irritates my husband so he hides them from me. I have found my shoes on top of the refrigerator and behind the dog food. Once I think he threw away one of my shoes (I had one shoe wondering where the other was). I have tried to be better about it, but sometimes I forget. Why does he get so irritated by me leaving my shoes out when he leaves all sorts of things out too! What if I hid his cell phone behind the dog food? That would not be right. I feel he does it to teach me a lesson and I feel that is very condescending and patronizing. What do you think?
2007-11-23 03:38:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks Everyone! Yeah, I think I will tell him that I am not his child, but rather his equal. I will try not to leave my shoes out, but he should refrain from treating me like a child.
2007-11-23 04:17:52 · update #1
BTW, I hid all his toiletries before leaving the house today. I know it's silly to stoop down to his level, but I got some sweet satisfaction out of it. I bet it took him forever to find his hair brush! :)
2007-11-23 04:19:29 · update #2
He needs to see you as an adult not a child (I sometimes take my children's toys away when they leave them out, but would NEVER do that to my spouse). I would ask him to please not do that anymore (he should practice his ignoring skills, or put them away for you), and then I would also do my best to not leave them out since I know it bothers him. This is how a mutually caring adult relationship should work.
2007-11-23 03:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by George 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think its really cute actually.
I can see how you can get frustrated but consider this.
Hes not yelling or screaming at you. He's simply hidding your shoes. Which perhaps should'nt be thrown wherever. Right now there is just two of you and if your family expands and everyone starts throwing shoes around than it can get quite messy.
GO GIVE YOUR HUBBY A HUG.... he's casually setting a point without being a meanie about it...
As for you. I feel you I throw my shoes etc.. everywhere. I wish my boyfriend would be so nice as to hide my shoes instead I get lectured lectured lectured (who wants to hear a lecutre after a long day at work)
2007-11-23 11:47:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is the house not yours too?Does he own everything and you are just the "wife?" I kick my shoe off when I come home too...its my prerogative.
It is condescending...like you are one of his children. Tell him you will leave your shoes out if you want and in the future if something you do irritates him he may talk with you about it as an equal, but that he may not get his own way.
Mention to him that he is not perfect about putting things away as well, and that you do not react in a distructive way toward it.
2007-11-23 11:46:41 · answer #3 · answered by suigeneris-impetus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is being very immature and perhaps a control freak. I would put the shoes carefully away when you come home and if he then starts controlling some other aspect of your behavior I would file for divorce and find someone who is more glad to see you come home than to worry about what you do with your shoes. I am reminded of the movie Sleeping with the enemy and you know how that turned out.
2007-11-23 11:48:32 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he also leaves things all over the place then hide his stuff too, but if you have a real problem with putting away your shoes maybe you should start taking a minute to just put them away where they belong.
2007-11-23 11:42:18 · answer #5 · answered by why ask 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just learn to take your shoes off where you store them and stop leaving them out. If it bothers your husband that much, you may think about trying something different.
It's all about compromise!
If he leaves something out...hide it from him though.
2007-11-23 11:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by John 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably a very neat person and what you do it bugs him and by hiding your shoes he wants to send you a message of being neat.
2007-11-23 11:43:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have u ever told him its irritating you tell him ull start hiding his stuff tell him its ur shoes n ull put em where you like
jeez how old is this man ...........
that would really pee me off esp since i kick my shoes off too if it really bothers him y cant he just put them away 4 u its easier than thinkin of a hidin place .....
Amy xxx
2007-11-23 11:44:19 · answer #8 · answered by xxxamyxxx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your not his child for him to teach a lesson to. that would get on my nerves! my bf doesnt like it, but never would he hide them to teach me a lesson. the only thing that would teach me is how to be a biatch!
2007-11-23 11:44:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's treating you like you are a child, ask him why.
2007-11-23 11:46:48 · answer #10 · answered by Jen70 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋