Ok I now have a THIRD married guy flirting with me...I don't want this!!!! Why do I seem to attract married ones and not the single ones? The only thing I can think of is that I am completely my goofy self around the married guys because I am not thinking I need to impress anyone but with the single ones I might come across more reserved.
Also how do I let the married ones know its just not going to happen without being rude? I have joked with them when they have made passes about how "they won't do me any good since they are married" but they don't seem to take the hint. I don't want them to feel bad -like its them- because I could see myself dating at least 2 of them ...IF they weren't married but I want them to realize I am not the one they need to be chasing if they are looking for an affair. I am so frustrated ...why can't the single guys give me as much attention????
2007-11-23 03:12:42 · 17 answers · asked by jenny s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think your theory of too reserved around the single ones is a good one.As long as you act like you enjoy the company of the married ones they will continue to be a problem.
2007-11-23 03:17:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry if I offend you but I have a friend with the same problem and it's her own fault.
If there's a group of men that she knows are all single and at least 2/3's of them are not seeing anyone at all and a group of married men not 10 feet away she will head straight for the married guys every time.Then moan about not being able to attract a single guy just like you're doing.
Here's the absolute truth as I see it in her case and it's probably true for you as well.She see's the married guys as safe. They are not free to persue a relationship therefore she can be whoever and act however all she wants and because she knows they're going home to their wives she does'nt need to worry about getting her little heart broken in the end.
What she can't realize is that in the end she's probably going to be the cause of someone elses heart being broken and it's just not right.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with men and women being nothing more than friends but if they were truly only wanting friendship off color or flat out crude remarks or gestures would never be made evan in jest.All you're doing is sending the message that "Hey,I'm available and ready whenever you are. I don't really care whether you're tied up or not cos I'm not looking for Mr.Right just Mr.Right Now."by acting your normal goofy self.You're more reserved around single guys because you don't want them to think you're easy .You don't realize that the married guys think just that.
Mens heads are easily turned when they're stuck in a slump at home and at work and more than will admit will happily allow things to get so heated there's no turning back.
Get yourself away from the married guys and head straight for the single ones they'll cause you less grief than you'll cause when Joe Blow with the wife and 3 kids slips up and the wife finds out about his "friendship" with you.
You're going to have your heart broken many,many times.It'll hurt and it'll suck bad but it's a part of life.Every time your heart gets hurt you grow and get stronger and be better for it in the end.Finding someone you truly want to wake up next to the rest of your life is an adventure.Stop being scared of finding him and go look.
2007-11-23 12:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by ozzy59 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you stop and think about flip things around, like being goofy around singel guys and reserved around married men? Also, the way you flirt with married men and I would said that you hardly flirt with a single men. If that the case then what is your problem? Why would you flirt openly with married men than single men? Maybe there are no single men there that you're really interesting in going out to the movies or bowling, maybe have lunch and even a coffee break.
2007-11-23 11:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if some of this may be that you are reserved around the single guys because you need to build up your self esteem and feel the confidence that you feel around the married guys where there is no need to worry about how you look, whether they like you and so on. I will give you a good site for this - click on the words Self Esteem - and you will see other good things to explore as far as life choices as well. Kudos to you for not being one of those who go after another woman's husband. ou will be happier for that in the long run!!
2007-11-23 11:30:20 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes guys will see a girl's friendliness and joking around as an open for them. They let themselves believe that you may be open to the idea of more between you two. You need to stand your ground though. When they start flirting with you, let them know that it makes you feel awkward when they do it because you consider them a friend and that you would appreciate if they did not do it anymore. If you flirt back, then you are just adding fuel to the fire and will lead them on more. After that, then you can focus on the single guys.
2007-11-23 11:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by randmthots 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
single guys find you as reserved or desperate, in either case they may not think you are worth the time or effort and give up and move on.
Married guys have grown tired of what they have and in some cases they aren't married they just have a wife. NO it's not the same. If they were married they wouldn't be flirting like that.
so the married guys see you as the woman who hasn't gotten any for a while and you might just find them attractive enough for a quickee.
2007-11-23 11:19:02 · answer #6 · answered by old-softy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are open with marriaged men and tell them how frustrated you are with single guys, then they may think that you are a easy target for a little affair.
Most men have fantasies about their own sexual appeal. They would love to confirm that fantasy with a beauty youth single woman. They may be happy with their wives, but just want to give their ego's a boost.
When a married man makes a suggestive remark to you, you should respond with any hesitation, with a prepared remark, like, "I could never, ever, have an affair with a married man!"
2007-11-23 11:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to revamp your thinking a little bit. With a married guy you won't have to be doing washing, cleaning, picking up, babysitting, yada. They know how to do those things you want done to make you feel warm and fuzzy and you don't have to live with them or listen to them whine. Think of married men as you do the paper that comes off the roll in the throne room; disposable. Why get married when you can have the milk for free?
2007-11-23 11:26:03 · answer #8 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all It's cool that you refuse the attentions of married guys.
Second - You have already answered your own question - Relax and be yourself around the type of guys you want to attract.
Please do not take offense but being more reserved around guys only comes across as being a cold *****. What else do guys that do not know you have to go on?
Relax and be yourself - That equals self confidence which is extremely sexy and attractive no mater what you look like.
2007-11-23 11:54:32 · answer #9 · answered by ezxqz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Married men who wish to cheat will flirt with women; that is a fact. It happens to all of us, married or single. I usually tell them, thank you for the compliment, but I value myself much more than you seem to right now.
You need to come across as yourself with everyone; you don't need to impress anyone as your own unique personality will show itself too them at some point. Just relax, enjoy meeting others; it is when we are not 'trying' to find that special person that they come into our lives.
2007-11-23 12:23:25 · answer #10 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋