I have a pal who's been in a relationship for 7 years and has lived with her boyfriend for about 6 of them. She has Reumatoid arthritis and works part time as a nanny to earn as much as she can within her physical limits, she earns about £500 a month. Her boyfriend is the same age as her (27) and does factory work, earning about £2000 a month. My friend always thought she payed excactly half of the rent and bills with her boyfriend (that was their agreement from the start) She found out recently that she's paying just over half and doesn't know if she's right to feel confused and angry. Her boyfriend controls all the bills and finances, she just gives him a certain amount each month and is then broke. She told me she also does most of the food shopping on top of that. Her boyfriend is saving up to go travelling on his own for a year apparently. I know how I feel about this, but what do I tell her? She says she loves him.
2007-11-23 03:02:49 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just to add - when they go out they pay half each, all bills (other than rent) are split in half and they use HER car, he doesn't have one. She pays for everything on the car, including petrol.
2007-11-23 03:15:55 · update #1
You're in a really tough position. You're right, your friend's "boyfriend" is clearly a user. She may not realize this until he goes off on his year of travel and doesn't want her back when and/or if he returns. In the meantime, I'd work on her self esteem issues. Do what you can to build her up. When you two talk, point out all the ways she succeeds in her life. (ie, working as a nanny to earn as much as her RA lets her.) Also, you might want to keep an eye out for alternative lodgings for your friend when the guy leaves. She'll be in a bind then, won't she? But it won't do any good to let her know what a loser her boyfriend is -- she'll just defend him. Just focus on her and letting her know what a capable, fantastic person she is. And be there when her world falls down, because this guy is bad news.
2007-11-23 03:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by Rebeckah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be only fair for her to pay her fair share of the bills however that fair share is no where near half of the total bills
Since she is disabled and makes only 1/4 what her boyfriend makes with his job, she should only be paying 1/4 of the bills.
He is taking advantage of her.
2007-11-23 03:08:18 · answer #2 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He earns enough to support them and only need collect the rent portion, not split the food or other house expenses, and should be a man about it so she has some spending money from what she does. And he should be told so.
2007-11-23 03:18:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my area there are more bills than just food and rent, there's phone, cable tv, gas, water and electric. Who is paying for those? Whose car do they use and who pays for it? If they go out for a meal or entertainment, who pays for that?
Only she can decide if she's being taken advantage of or not.
Sounds to me like she's a girlfriend.
2007-11-23 03:08:32 · answer #4 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks - this is how we did it in our house:
We took the total income.
Paid all the bills out of the total, bought food etc etc.
One third of the remainder was given to each person as pocket money, to save or spend as see fit.
The remaining third went back into joint account.
In this case each to his ability to contribute but equal reward at the end.
Because when it's love, the rest is "only money".
2007-11-23 03:08:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he's taking more money off her than needs be to probably fund his travelling plans? He's an idiot. If they agreed that they pay half, they should pay half. Plus he gets way more money than her so its not fair at all. He sounds like a D*ck!
2007-11-23 03:07:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
gf
2007-11-23 03:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by samantha 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋