my friend, has a boyfriend who vows he loves her , yet he is going on holiday with his wife,(they have been seperated for years) i understand how upset she is ,what do i advise her ,????
2007-11-23 02:45:12 · 37 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is always difficult to advise on this topic because there is always the chance to be dramatically wrong.
Holidays are the best time to resolve long standing problems.
There is a chance that your friend's boyfriend wants to use this occasion to resolve their problem.
There is no arm to wait until they come back.
Sit on the fence and Wait.
Good luck
2007-11-23 03:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by The Rugby Player 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't advise her anything. This is a messy situation that you should stay out of. If she is in love she will be blinkered to anything you say and you could end up risking your friendship.
Most importantly just be there for her now and if things go wrong. Listen to hear problems and comfort her but don't give her too much advise.
Good luck - hope she sorts it out!!!
By the way, personally, I think she should get rid, but I don't know the whole story, I can only go on the experience I've been involved in. I would suggest he is lying about being truely seperated from his wife.
2007-11-23 02:53:17 · answer #2 · answered by Nicola 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he's got the best of both worlds. Maybe he dosen't know what the word LOVE really means, it certaintly dosen't mean hanging in there with the wife and having a honey on the side who he keeps hanging on a string, and maybe he just tells her the things she wants to hear but they don't mean anything. I know somebody like that, they tell you what you want to hear, but they don't mean it. He's a player, she should just use him until she meets someone new and then dump him. BUT she going to need your help! make sure you go out to places where she can meet new people, that aren't married and keep trying to encourage the thought to her of meeting new people because this guy is definately a player. Sounds like he used her while figuring out his feelings for his wife, because you said they were only separated not divorced. She needs to dump him quick and you will have to help her. Maybe throw a party and invite single guys that aren't married.
2007-11-23 03:38:28 · answer #3 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend has to realize that this guy is still in love with his ex but it's best not to say anything you don't want to be the bad guy but you can ask her what she thinks so she'll get the point and then it's up to her to decide about what is it that she wants a guy that will give her scraps or move on to find someone who will ive more.
2007-11-23 03:05:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the replies i see on here, seem to be from individually hurt & insecure people, passing off their own experiences on this man. i am actually discusted at the way he has been slated.
I have a friend who went on holiday with his childs mother after they were seperated and he had a new grlfriend, and there was no torch for her still,nothing happened,nobody wanted anything to happen
i think you should be advising her to be totally honest with her feelings to her man and to get this resolved as soon as possible. like the first answer said, its complicated.. nowhere near as black & white as all the other replies imply! prejudices on here have not helped this cause at all ,, people have hung the man with having no details .. shame
2007-11-23 02:58:19 · answer #5 · answered by ξήĢŁĭŞĦ ŗǾşξ ©® ღஐღ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends really, I'd understand if he had young children with his ex and they were just takin a break away with the kids but if they have none then i would start worrying, why would someone want to go away with their ex, I woulnt agree with it if it was my husband but ur best not 2 get involved as it could cause a rift between friends if she thinks u r insinuating anything.
2007-11-23 02:53:41 · answer #6 · answered by jemmalee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe I'd stay out of it. However I have been friends with my ex for years, and even though we dont vacation together I am always invited to family functions. There is no romance there , but we have joint friends and still care deeply for each others families.
2007-11-23 03:07:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them handle it...don't get involved.
Just be there for your friend, but don't give her any advice...no matter what you say, it could come back and bite you in the butt later!
Just be the good friend who has the tub of ice cream and two spoons that will comfort her when she is sad!
2007-11-23 03:00:03 · answer #8 · answered by John 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise you to tell your friend to move on and give her the true relationship she deserves and not with another man's wife.
2007-11-23 02:49:01 · answer #9 · answered by **** 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If this guy has moved on with your friend, he shouldn't be going with his ex. If there are kids involved, tell your friend to plan a trip with her boyfriend involving the kids. The ex can have her time with the kids and he can have his time with the kids. If there aren't any kids, and he loves your friend, he shouldn't even be considering it.
2007-11-23 02:57:21 · answer #10 · answered by leigh 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋