Envy is eating me up?

Question

I have amassive problem with my envy. i suffer from depression so it makes it worse. My relative has moved to Australia and has a house with a swimming pool and i am here in asmall house in the Uk. Its made worse by the fact i tried to emigrate but i was refused due to skills base and my depression, and he only got in because hes wife is a hairdresser. Is it normal to feel like this, i think about it every day?

Answer 1

I have a jealousy problem too. I'm not bitter with my envy, it just makes me sad, you too? Like I compare myself obsessively to EVERYONE I MEET. And everyone I know, and I always come off much much worse. It's getting out of control and driving me crazy. If I watch a documentary about someone or somepeople who are gifted or lived an extraordinary life, something just to make them special, Instead of being moved it just makes me feel sad and empty. Like instead of being grateful for the benefit of other people's gifts, I just get despondant cos i don't have any. I know there are plenty of people worse of than me, but that's always a comparrison about CIRCUMSTANCES like poverty or fammine and I don't envy people's good luck or curse my bad luck so it's not about that. It's more about what people are or what they are capable of that just makes me so sad instead of inspired. There are some good, un-flawed people in the world, some can do amazing things, and they are depressing me.

Answer 2

I think this time of year in particular winter many people feel depressed for many different reasons.
It is only natural to look at what others have and you do not and feel envy in particular since you have tried to emigrate and been refused.
Can you think of something you really want or have always wanted to do and do it. Learn a new skill this will take your mind of what is happening and give you yourself a goal to aim for be proactive rather than negative.
There is only one person who can change things and that is you but you have to want it and also find something you love with a passion and will enjoy.
There house may have a swimming pool but so have all the other houses out there it is the normal and to not have one is odd due to heat ect. Try and look at it that way and see if that helps it would be nice to have a pool but we do not get the weather they do. They are also expensive to maintain by the way so their grass may not be all that greener than you think.
They are exited about what they have and all that goes with it but at end of day all that will pass as they do have to work and make a living just like you do here and that is not that easy out there.
I hope you feel better and find something to focus on and once you have acheived that skill and feel fantastic at doing it the depression may lift and then you are halfway there to follow your dream too.

Answer 3

Feeling jealous is a normal human reaction. But as soon as you feel it, you need to let it go because it will consume you. Life is never fair, and there will always be someone else who has someting better, brighter, or bigger. And for some reason, you may have something that your relative wishes they had, so it goes both ways.

I view life as a journey. What is right for one person, may not be right for the other. I used to laugh when people said that everything happens for a reason, but after all the crap I have been thru lately, I really believe it. Even when we suffer, we learn.

My best advice to you is to keep pushing forward and try to create good things in your life. If it is your skill base holding you back, then do something about it. If you are depressed, get help! Or go do something for someone else that is positive. For some reason, when we are at our lowest, giving to others tends to make our own lives better.

Envy will hold you back, not push you towards the future you desire.

Answer 4

How positive that you admit to this. Envy is a hard sin to own up to, but we are all guilty of it!

Your good friend's life should be a inspiration to you, not a source of regret. It takes away your ability to lead an inspired life.

Focus on getting you OWN skill set and having more options will ease your depression.

Answer 5

It's okay. You can still find things to be happy about and do things that will make you happy. even if you had a pool, you may not use it often, and there's always the local pool which you don't have to put effort into maintaining. And even if you were in australia you still would pretty much have a similar routine in life, it probably won't make you much happier.

Answer 6

Sure it's normal, anyone would feel the same; but it's just that the grass is always greener. For all anybody knows, you'd be miserable down there. For all you know, he is. There's a lot to be said for: "you're born where you're born for a reason".

Answer 7

I get jealous sometimes too, the truth is it's one of those things you can't control BUT make sure that you don't actually harm that person! In that case then envy WOULD be eating you up.

Answer 8

no its not normal

ive never understood envy & jealousy

You try for what you want, if you fail, you try again ,, if you dont succeed it was never meant to be..

jeaous people really get my goat ... to me its a sign of a very weak personality. You have to accept the knocks & falls in life as you do the good times .. envy just creates a nasty whirwind around you .. yuk

Answer 9

You should really seek professional help from a psychiatrist or psychologist to work on your depression and jealousy issues.

Answer 10

Perfectly normal