I had a very good relationship with my partner that called it off because she said that she is not ready to commit yet. We live in different towns about 4 hours away & met on the internet. The chemistry was incredible. She called it off a couple weeks ago because she said that she was not being fair to me & that she was not going to hurt me. She said she did not want to commit and that she was not leaving her job or where she worked. She said she needed to finish her therapy before she was ready for any relationship and that I had been through enough shitty relaionships & she was not going to contribute to it. I get a text message from her once in a great while. For Thanksgiving she sent me a Big warm thanksgiving hug & said that I was a part of her and she carried our experiences together in her heart always. We both love each other no doubt, but she is not ready to commit or leave her job of 8 years or the town she lives in. I can not leave where I live either. What do you do?
2007-11-23 01:40:47 · 10 answers · asked by J.J. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is nothing you can do. Your partner made a decision which she is obviously sticking to and you have to respect that and move on. It will not be easy and I'm sure you're in a lot of pain over it but you are only delaying the inevitable if you are thinking you can change or fix things. The timing is off and that's just how it is. You have to move on. Try and keep yourself busy and rely on support from your friends and loved ones. The longer you think you can change the outcome of this, the longer it will take for you to heal.
2007-11-23 02:26:47 · answer #1 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone dumps you should pay less attention to any long list of excuses why they can't be with you and focus on the fact that they cannot be with you. Any reasons she's giving might be that she's feeling guilty because she does care about you, doesn't want to see you hurt, but ultimately your relationship is not more important than her job and the other people in her life. I've moved for relationships before, I've had many different jobs in my life and if I said I didn't want to move or didn't want to change jobs it very well could be that I just wanted out of the relationship and felt the need to give a reason when really the only reason is I didn't want to be in that relationship anymore. Unfortunately her giving you the excuses has given you some hope that if you overcome the "issues" then you can be together again. The one issue you won't be able to overcome is the part about her not wanting to commit.
2016-05-25 02:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have two choices: either move on or continue to carry a torch for her and sulk. Guess which choice is healthier? She obviously has some problems and it's probably best that you aren't involved with someone who is on a roller coaster emotionally. The fact that she sends you little sweetheart cards after she cuts it off with you proves that. I know this is easier said than done, but you are better blocking all communication from her. Try to move on--there are great women out there who are ready.
2007-11-23 02:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are really stressed out....I can tell because this question keeps popping up....the answer to this question is simple, however not easy...it is "Live and Let Live". Which means, give her space to live her life in a manner that is comfortable, live your life as though you are happy to have met her and comfortable enough with in yourself to let her....if you do this...she will treasure you and most likely will be inclined to work something out....if you panic and act like you are desperate - this will freak her out. Enjoy life, enjoy the day, be happy that someone thinks enough of you to send you a message like that, that if they are thinking of you that way...then they are close to working something out and committing.....give it space, give it time, give yourself the freedom from this "panic" to have a great day....it works.
2007-11-23 01:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by Rein 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
except her honest and move on. both of you are not willing to leave your job of each other (sign that both of you're selfish), she had enough bad relationships, since she is going throug therapy and she needed to complete it. She is doing a good thing for herself. I think its fair to called it off and for you to move on. When a person had enough bad relationship, it best for that person to get help or back off from relationship until they're ready to give it another try. When one goes back before they're ready, it will be one big nightmare for both of them. I suggest that you honor her request and look for someone else. That is my opinion...
2007-11-23 01:52:50 · answer #5 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in contact with her until as friends you either get closer or the relationship dies out . Either way you have gained a friend . Lifetime friends cherish each other and do more than talk about it. communicate your feelings!!
2007-11-23 02:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some balls and get over it!!!!!!!
Honey, things always happen for a reason, you need to let it go. She's is obviously, is going back and forth just in case things dont work out with a significant other.
Yeah you read right, she has someone else!!!! and want you as a back up.
2007-11-23 02:04:47 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Sonadora♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When u love someone u should sacrafise sometimes .. but should be 100% SURE that the other person is worth it
plus she needs time to recover .. give her all the time she needs then discuss that again
GooD LucK !
2007-11-23 02:18:39 · answer #8 · answered by Maria 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesn't want to hurt you so let her go, from her txt it sounds like she still wants to be friends,think of it this way what would you rather have, her as a friend or not at all.
2007-11-23 01:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do as she asks.
2007-11-23 02:29:57 · answer #10 · answered by ♛Qu€€n♛J€§§¡¢a♛™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋