I had a very good relationship with my partner that called it off because she said that she is not ready to commit yet. We live in different towns about 4 hours away & met on the internet. The chemistry was incredible. She called it off a couple weeks ago because she said that she was not being fair to me & that she was not going to hurt me. She said she did not want to commit and that she was not leaving her job or where she worked. She said she needed to finish her therapy before she was ready for any relationship and that I had been through enough shitty relaionships & she was not going to contribute to it. I get a text message from her once in a great while. For Thanksgiving she sent me a Big warm thanksgiving hug & said that I was a part of her and she carried our experiences together in her heart always. We both love each other no doubt, but she is not ready to commit or leave her job of 8 years or the town she lives in. I can not leave where I live either. What do you do?
2007-11-23 01:35:56 · 12 answers · asked by J.J. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move on. It doesn't seem like it was meant to be.
If it was, everything would come very easily. I wouldn't force it. Move on with your life.
2007-11-23 01:42:19 · answer #1 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone dumps you should pay less attention to any long list of excuses why they can't be with you and focus on the fact that they cannot be with you. Any reasons she's giving might be that she's feeling guilty because she does care about you, doesn't want to see you hurt, but ultimately your relationship is not more important than her job and the other people in her life.
I've moved for relationships before, I've had many different jobs in my life and if I said I didn't want to move or didn't want to change jobs it very well could be that I just wanted out of the relationship and felt the need to give a reason when really the only reason is I didn't want to be in that relationship anymore.
Unfortunately her giving you the excuses has given you some hope that if you overcome the "issues" then you can be together again. The one issue you won't be able to overcome is the part about her not wanting to commit.
2007-11-23 01:47:33 · answer #2 · answered by Jen70 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If neither of you is willing to make the move, not even for love, then you guys are sooo not for each other. A relationship needs teamwork, and apparently there is no team here, not when both of you have your individual priorities set in such a way that neither of you plans on doing an extra effort for this relationship. Apparently her job and her town are more important than this relationship, and so are your job and your town. Find a local and let her do the same.
2007-11-23 01:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
One of you guys needs to give up something for your relationship. If you really love each other. Having her job for eight years no doubt it's hard to leave and obviously you love your hometown. Why don't you just live in another place so that both of you have to give up those things or maybe if you really love her be a gentleman. Anyway you can visit your hometown every now and then.
2007-11-23 01:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by _______definitely rude__________ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's not ready to commit, there really isnt anything that will solve this dilemna but time. I know, cliche, but so true. If you guys truly do love eachother, eventually one of you will come around and give in to whatever has to be done to be together. The best advice is to just be patient.
2007-11-23 01:40:30 · answer #5 · answered by Answer Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself some time to get over the hurt of the breakup, and realize that what she did really was for the best. You both sound like reasonable, loving people, and I see no reason you couldn't remain friends, but don't hold yourself back from seeing new people.
2007-11-23 01:42:54 · answer #6 · answered by LoFlo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this was someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with one day - I'd just be patient and continue the relationship as it is now. Friends is better than nothing at all, I guess.
2007-11-23 01:44:19 · answer #7 · answered by gatsgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is in therapy she has issues that she must deal with and its good to know that she wants to help herself out and any distractions may interfere with this.
Play it cool for now she has not really thrown you out she just needs time to straighten a few things out.And remember "if you love someone set them free,if they come back they are yours"
2007-11-23 01:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see.... kinda tough situation. But if u really love her, then wait till she's ready. I know its tough but that's at least u can do to her. Coz man, u've got a great future ahead u both. Gonna be fine couple.
Be patient dude, good luck.
2007-11-23 01:42:47 · answer #9 · answered by L-kuza H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is wait until she gets past her therapy or move on. What other choice do you have? Your best bet is move on.
2007-11-23 01:39:18 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋