Any good advice on bringing up baby?

Question

I am 21 weeks pregnant with my first (a daughter), my husband and I are both really excited about the birth but I just cant help worrying about doing a good job bringing her up.
I would really appreciate any advice from mothers out there.

E.g Is it best to keep the baby in your bedroom to begin with or start them off in there own room?

Should you go running everytime they make a noise or leave the a little while in case they can calm themselves.

Then obviously all the decisions on food and what is good/bad for them to eat.

I know it sounds silly and it really is personal choice but any hints and tip on bringing up baby would be much appreciated.

Answer 1

I strongly suggest to read the book "Girlfriends Guide To Pregency". There is way too much to learn that we couldn't even answer that fully!
Or for a more dry read you can try the typical "What to expect when you are expecting"

Answer 2

all your fears and worries are perfectly normal Hun ok . So dont worry love. Look up some info on the net on mother and baby sites, your maternal instinct will kick in love and the fact you are asking this question says you are going to be a great Mum. You learn all the time and yes you will make mistakes but thats how we learn. If you find it all a bit to much then join some parenting classes, this doesnt mean you are a bad Mum it means you want to do whats best for your child. Good luck you are going to be just fine.
Quick tip dont go running everytime baby cries. As long as you know baby is fed and changed and safe then dont worry, they may protest a bit but thats ok, if you go check on them and they are fine then just let baby cry.

Answer 3

Just trust your instincts and do what feels right for you. Ask advice from any other mums you know but don't feel obliged to take it, after all what works for them might not work for you. All anyone can do is their best and you will be so protective of your baby that you will instinctively know what is right.
If your unsure, ask your midwife or health visitor. The best advice I can give is to establish a routine, it is comforting for your baby to know what is going to happen next and it also allows you a little freedom to get some of your life back. As they get older make sure that no means no and you stick to it.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll be a great mum, we all have these worries!!

Answer 4

It doesn't sound silly, it's perfectly natural. I wasn't worried one bit about giving birth, but even the idea of changing a nappy terrified me!

But let me tell you this - you know more than you think! There are SO many guidelines and pieces of advice out there and much of it is totally contradictory. You will muddle through most of it, change your mind on every issue every few weeks, work it out for yourself.

For the absolute basics, they give you a little book called Newborn when your baby is born. I learnt to change nappies from the internet!

Issues such as whether you run to every noise and how long the babyis in your room for are entirely up to you. Do what feels right. Much of it IS instinctial, and when your baby cries you will figure out what they want.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Your questions dont sound silly at all, it's natural to be worried. I think the best advice anyone gave me was to trust my instincts, and believe me they kick in pretty quickly.
I kept my baby in our room for about 6 months and then put him into his own room. I was breastfeeding so it was just easier for me to have him close by at first. See how you feel when he comes along you might find that you are fine with him in his own room or you might prefe to have him closer. There's no right or wrong
I couldnt help going running at every little noise, i even regularly checked him whilst he was sleeping and quiet but again see what suits you.
Also i bought a brilliant book called ' What to Expect, The first year'. It's really practical and so helpful, worth it's weight in gold. It answers every question that first time parents have.
Good luck with everything, it's great to be a parent, you're going to love it x

Answer 6

Follow you head and heart and believe in yourself and your abilities. Yes for a few weeks in your room and then in the next one maybe with a baby alarm. The little ones are tougher than you think., listen to the medics by all means for the things it is dangerous to do. When and if you have your next child baby will have a different set of instructions, this goes to show that everyone has their own way. I know this is not very helpful in "facts" but honestly thee are non only guidance so again relax and enjoy baby. The time will go very quickly indeed although at times it will not feel like it.

Answer 7

It isn't silly at all....I think everyone feels this way when having their first baby...everything seems so new and scary. I kept my kids in a bassinette in my room for the first little while because that way I could keep an eye out on them (I must have checked constantly...LOL) and also when you have to breastfeed in the middle of the night it is easier than jumping out of bed and going to another room. I put them in their crib at about 2 months in their own room. A good book to get is "What to Expect the First Year".....it will help with all the questions and concerns you mentioned.

Answer 8

First off, don't overthink it... listen to your instincts first and foremost... they are rarely wrong. If you feel you have to pick up your baby, but your head says "they say not to" then listen to your heart, not your head and pick up your baby. I rarely leave my baby to just cry. He's 2 months old and I can't stand it, it's heartbreaking. I used to jump at every little noise, but now I know the difference between a 'need something' groan and a "I'm just about to fall asleep, leave me alone" sigh. You'll learn to tell the difference - trust me on this.

Let your baby sleep with you if you want to. I was all gung-ho to let mine sleep in his own room from day one. When I got home with my baby, I followed my instincts (my heart) and let him sleep with me in my room. He's in his own crib, right next to me. Evidence suggest that babies who co-sleep have a lower SIDS rate. Also, give the child a dummy (pacifier) because studies have proven that the risk of SIDS are reduced by 80% if they sleep with a pacifier.

As for food, don't worry about that. Breastmilk is best, formula is okay... but they only need one or the other. By around six months (although some do it earlier) you can come back and ask for help on starting solids - lol.

Other than that... just love her, and be her mommy. Give her loads of cuddles, feed her, change her, burp her, wash her and you'll be just fine.

I had the same fears, and now I'm surprised at how easy it all comes to me!

You'll be great!

Answer 9

My best advice is that you'll get a lot of advice - solicited and otherwise. Take whatever advice you feel is good, leave the rest...even complete strangers will come up and tell you what they think you're doing wrong...it's quite shocking at first.

As for if baby should sleep in your room, whether you get up as soon as they cry, etc...sleeping - however you feel most comfortable. My babies have typically gone straight to their cribs...others like to have them in a bassinet in their room for the first while...whatever you feel is best. Getting up when they cry - at first, yes, anytime they cry you probably should, as when they are newborns chances are good that they do need you...as they get older - you'll be able to determine when they really need you and when they don't with experience.

It doesn't sound silly at all - you're just trying to figure out the best path.

All the best to you - congrats on your daughter.

Answer 10

I kept all my babies in the bedroom with me until they were two years old . I am a deep sleeper and I would worry that I would not hear them if they needed me during the night. but it is a personal choice. Some people keep them in nurseries and its perfectly fine too.I believe a baby cries for a reason so I never left them cry I always got up to see what was wrong .

Answer 11

My suggestion in regards to sleeping is do what you are comfortable with. I kept my babies in bassinets next to my bed for the first month because it was easier for me and then moved them into their cribs with a baby monitor next to the bed. As for running when they made a noise, that depends on whether it is crying or just settling in. I never let my babies cry themselves out. But they didn't have colic and were good babies. I wouldn't keep the household especially quiet, because that can produce a "quiet sleeper". The best thing I could advise is relax and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! Get a good baby book and read it while you are pregnant. And SAVE now for college...