Can any other women relate?

Question

What's with you guys? I just got done reading some jackass's rant:
"Are women taking advantage of The Women's Liberation Movement by being liberal only when on their favor?
Women seem to act conservative when it comes to the men paying for movies, dinner or opening the doors for them etc... but on the other hand they want "equality" what is up with that why do women try to get the best out of both worlds... I think you should either be liberal all they way or conservative otherwise society in general will never give them the respect they deserve."
Many users agreed with him on this and I have to say I'm pissed. I'm the kind of woman who doesn't mind if a man opens a door for me, or offers to pay for a date, BUT I don't expect it out of men. Why is this a bad thing? The "equality" this user speaks of is actually the need for us to be respected. Why will we "never get the respect we deserve" unless we're one way or another?

K, you with all the freaking symbols as your name: I DO pay for myself and open doors for men. In saying I don't expect them to do that for me, I thought it was clear.

I might add, not only do I pay for myself sometimes, but I also sometimes pay for my boyfriend. When you're in a relationship that's the way it should be.

PortWine: So I should be outraged that a man would want to be a gentleman, especially on the first date? I have nothing wrong with that. Read what this guy wrote, then what I have to say about it; don't assume things. I hate it when people state things and then don't support it: ie" 1/4 of women, huh?

ByTheWay: You're never going to see a woman naked unless it's on the internet.

Answer 1

The same can be said of men, of course (so I hope "jackass" is reading this). They're not "liberal all the way" nor "conservative all the way"...they expect women to put out, then they call us sluts.

Of course, these are complete generalisations (both comments - mine and Jackass's). There are a lot of stereotypical generalisations from immature computer geeks (ouch) who seem to be taking out all their angst (prob over never getting a girl) on complete strangers...thinking what they put out there on the web has no consequences. Oh, how they are wrong.

Answer 2

Cause,
the only thing a man has in this world is his distinction of strength and authority. Take it away, and boom! Things are not equal at all; the weight shifts to women, and unbalances the sexes. Women always had, and always will have the ability to bare children, and mold and shape the generations; men had the keeping of society in order, but not anymore, so the equality of respect is possible, with definite roles, but take away a man's role, make him worthless; why would he want to be respectful in this case at all? The only reason we are even to this day, weak toward women, is because with all of this occurring, we love them. Why not just be adored. People are not perfect, but not every woman in the world was disrespected and abused before the women's' lib. came along, in fact young men honorably fought for their Country, and for their women and children. It's all bullshyt. The only thing we will have left as men, will be our "privilege" of signing up for the selective services when we hit 18, to be drafted in time of war. Thank you very much. Leave it alone already. This is wrong! Hey, don't get me wrong, I love all you women to death. Well, men aren't going to give up their only position, and not expect total equality is what it is. Why not? Just open his door sometimes. What's the big deal?


I don't know. It seems like women's lib. has actually brought in devaluing, exploitation, and dishonor of women instead.

See, I have no problem. And with the liberation and equality thing, I too wouldn't mind a woman, who is even in control. Men's minds just don't work the same. A man's nature is to dominate. There is no equality in this area no matter what. A man will either lead or submit; there is no in between. I'd rather submit than be lonely. So, common dominatrixes, yeah!!! Yes mamme!

Answer 3

Ah, yes.... the men who are against equality often try to tell a woman how she should act in any given situation.... it's the only way they know to preserve their privileged status.

What I don't understand is why common little courtesies are given so much importance in assessing equality. Holding a door or paying for a meal is really just a very small gesture in the grand scheme of things. Real equality lives in a person's heart when they display an attitude of respect for others, regardless of their economic means, skin color or gender.
Real equality is earning the same wages for the same work, having the opportunity to apply for the same education and employment, and in the big picture, seeing all people as human first, no matter what gender, race or religion they are.

Answer 4

I find your position hard to defend. You don't want to be treated or respected different than men (social stereotypes). However, you don't mind when they offer to pay for a date or open a door (social stereotypes).

So the difference is what ? If its bad, then you are offended. If its good, oh well... If you truly believe in being treated the same as a man, than you should be as offended by pro stereotypes as con stereotypes.

Who cares whether you "expect it" or not. You don't "expect" to be passed over for a job interview for a lesser qualified man because you are a woman. I assume you would be enraged if you were.

Women will never get the respect they deserve without being one way or another as you said, because you cannot have your cake and eat it too. Either you are against being treated different than men, or you are not. You cannot merely want everything good about being treated different without the negatives as well... That's common sense.

Answer 5

What I see from the people on this site is too much generalization. If one woman doesn't open a door for a guy, then ALL women are impolite. If one is a gold digger, then they ALL are gold diggers. If one guy is stupid, then they are ALL stupid. If one guy is a user then they are ALL users. That basic lack of respect for individualism is at best annoying and at worst, hate mongering. You can't put people all in boxes labeled A or B. It doesn't work that way. We come in all degrees of evolution of social and logical interactions.

The trick to dating is to keep looking it until you find someone who dovetails with YOU in a perfect match. Just because a gay/gal hasn't found their match yet doesn't give them a right to put down the entire opposite sex. Forget about gender and do as someone up above said, respect each other as human beings... and as individuals.

Answer 6

From most men's perspective, if you expect (allow) him to pay for the first few dates (and probably enjoy other ways of being "taken care of"), you forfiet your rights to be as staunch about/outraged over how women are still so oppressed in 1st world countries. You're still deserving of respect, you don't deserve to be subjugated, and can still point things out..........but only a pansy man would take care of you more than you do him and then allow you to profess outrage the way more self-sufficient women could.
It's a gray area, but if you're not aware that at least 1/4 of women do this, you've got blinders on and/or you've got selective attention.
>>I'd say that between you and I, you're more the one not understanding what's been written. Yea, I know, such a percentage is hard to prove.

Answer 7

I think what it comes down to basically is that everyone wants to be treated in different ways by different people in their lives.

I'm no different. When I'm at work, I want to do my job and have my co-workers relate to me as co-workers without my sex being a factor either in my favour or against it. I don't think this is unreasonable and I also must say that I've had no complaints on that account.

When I'm on a date, however I do want my sex to be a factor because in that situation, I'm with a guy who apparently found me appealing and attractive enough to ask me out in the first place. And I would hope that would affect how he treats me when we're together. (As a side note, I also treat men I date with more affection and consideration than I do my co-workers)

It's unrealistic to say that equality should mean being treated by everyone in the exact same manner (or treating everyone in the exact same manner). When women talk about equality, we mean having the ability to function in the working and political world without our sex being either a hindrance or a help to us. (At least that's what I mean).

And I don't think we should have to choose some rigid dichotomy to be one way or the other to earn respect.

Answer 8

i agree that it is polite to open a door for someone...but i open doors for men, and pay for dinners . movies so it isnt a feminist thing to me! i think this is exaclty the kind of thing that keeps us equal as genders is to treat him as you wish to be treated! some feminists are confused by the idea and expect to be above men rather than equal. but i also think than women materialise mens body almost as much as men perve so all is ok in the world....at the mo...we cant be to politcally correct who ever complains when a bloke acts like a 'gentleman'

Answer 9

Try not to worry, after a few days you'll be so numb to the bs being spouted and all the angst, that you just start skimming over those whining & ranting little posts/questions.
Seriously, have seen many ranting and angry posts from some of the men in here(some of those are repeat offenders), that whatever valid point they may have is moot & any empathy or understanding is lost.
A mature and reasonable(and most of all, truthful) question or statement will get a better response out of me and most likely other women everytime.

Answer 10

We have a little problem that will be resolved over time. Our society is still in a state of flux. People can't tell the difference between societal norms and equality of people. We still have old social customs but we are supposed to be thinking of people in a new way. Men and women still don't quite know what's good manners and what's good ethics. I expect that it will get straightened out eventually, but until then, you get idiots like the one you've read.