Do women who have already been through the change of life, just make for a better life partner?

Question

I'm divorced and in my 40's. I have 3 children so I don't need any more. Since my divorce several years ago, I've dated women who were pre-menopausal and menopausal...and they often went so far off the deep end on me, it was truly scarey. I'm talking like picking up a hammer and trying to bash your head in because they found one saucer in the sink after you spotlessly cleaned the rest of your shared living space.

I've not been so shallow as to start chasing much younger women. And even if I did and got serious with them, they might want children or eventually go through menopause themselves and I'm not sure I want to deal with that again.

I'm not making more out of menopause than I should and I do know that for some women, the change of life does not bring on a deluge of behavioral changes. I've just seen it now in about 3 different relationships and if I have a choice, I want to avoid it.

So do women who have been through it just make better mates for the 2nd half of life?

Answer 1

My kids reckon Ive been going through menopause for the last 20 years.....LOL. Typical kids, they will put a label on anyone who chastises them. I know there are hormonal changes, but I seriously think too many women concentrate too much on menopause and allow the hormonal changes to dictate their :"sensible thought" I have been going through menopause for the last few years.....I thought I could be because I was getting hot flushes. The only way I knew for sure was to go for a blood test and the Doctor confirmed that I was well and trully into menopause.. Other than that, I havent seen a big change in me. I am still a very sexual person, I dont think I have mood swings. I feel quite normal. Maybe thats because I dont think about it too much. I cant speak for every other woman, only for myself, and I really think if you have a healthy mind, the hormonal changes wont even be noticeable. They say we only use 5% or so of our brain. If that is true, then we can overcome menopause with rational thought. I have always been a very sexual person....I love intimacy, so that part of me I dont think will ever change. I enjoy my partner's attentions, so I am not looking for any excuses to explain why I am no longer interested in sex. I dont look for excuses to explain my change in behaviour. I react as anyone would react to something "bad" happening in their life. I have always been an assertive person....its just the other people who will describe my assertiveness as me being menopausal. I honestly cannot see any changes in me, except I get very hot.....LOL

Answer 2

I don'tthink any better or worse than any other woman. But try to avoid those women that are "in menopause" because they can be pretty nuts during that time and don't even understand why they are acting like that. I think most post-menopausal women are finally
'relaxed
' no more periods, most women no longer have the responsbility of children, they can finally live life. Well, now that I look at your question, I guess I have to say ...YES!!

Answer 3

What I really like is the fact that you are looking for answers on this. Did you know that years ago, they actually put some women in mental institutions during their change because of bazaar behavior. It was so misunderstood back then. Coming from a gal here who is starting to see some changes in her life, I can tell you its not easy. I see myself changing. Tho i have never swung hammers around, i find myself easily irritated, emotional. And you know what? It drives ME nuts. So I can only imagine what it must do to guys who dont understand. What you could do, if ever faced with this again, is to gently and oh so lovingly tell your gf (while she is not in the throes of a hormonal rage) that you are concerned. Tell her you dont want her to feel so bad--see dont make it about you, make it about how you are concerned about her--and that maybe she could go see her dr. This is actually a pretty common problem and there is help out there.

Answer 4

It all depends on the personality of a particular woman,accepted that menopause comes with different patterns of behavioral changes,yet younger women behave worse than those that have reached their menopause. You have just been unlucky.

Answer 5

It's not so much that a woman is going through the change, as much as it's about her taking care of herself, and addressing the physical and emotional changes that happen at this stage of life. When you're dating a woman at that stage of life, observe her behavior before you begin sharing living arrangements. Does she accept responsibility for her behavior, apologize to you for going off the deep end, if that should happen. Is she health conscious, does she keep up on the latest in health research? These kinds of indicators should be able to guide you to making a decision about whether this person is mature enough to handle her change of life issues without making you a whipping post.

Answer 6

What about males going through male menopause????? do they make better partners?. For some godly reason men feel the need to have to get out there and prove they still got what it takes to satisfy a women, so beware ladies if your looking for another male partner.

Answer 7

I'm right in the beginning stages of menopause and, although I can get emotional from time to time, I don't think I'm nuts or anything...lol...everybody's different as well as their body chemistry. Some women go crazy and others, such as myself, just go with it.

Answer 8

Have you considered the fact that if Girl one is allowing you to have other relationships probably means she is too and maybe in this very same dilemma as you? - i think its between Girl one and Girl two considering you havent actually met girl three in person and people generally act differently on facebook -girl two sounds a bit too perfect and in a marriage or relationship you need a bit of excitement. - then again girl one said she doesnt want to put a mountain of hope on things which mean she is not really the type for long term relationship and is a bit more laid back about that kinda stuff. -maybe go on a date with each ? careful not to get the caught because you would be sooooooo screwed. I'm kinda stumped. :( i dunno tally up the good things and bad things about each of them and the one with the most good things you go out with. :D sorry for my fail of advice.

Answer 9

Okay, there are mood swings and there are psycho women. If you're dating women who resort to violence, you need to re-evaluate who you date...not where they are hormonally.

I've done the whole mood swings routine, and as near as I can tell, I'm the only one who noticed it, about 99% of the time. My comment used to be "Don't like this mood, wait 5 seconds and I'll have a NEW one". Of course, I also used to announce them as they were happening...I'm sure the shout of "MOOD SWING" caused more than one person to find somewhere else to be.

Seriously, re-evaluate WHO you're dating..the personality type. I don't think your problem is their hormone level, but who you're attracted to.

Answer 10

Whoa, my man. I read into your question because I'm with a pre-menopausal woman myself. I'm looking for answers & advice as well. I wish you luck...and pray for me.

Ps: where's the escape hatch, secret exit, back door, cavalry, something...HELP!!!