How to stop being so negative and sad?

Question

Due to circumstances and events in my life, My personality is very negative, and depressing. I try hard to be nice and happy of course, and I don't want to be negative, but always being restricted from everything I want is hard to deal with! I really want to be positive and change my bad attitude, and I try to smile when I talk to ppl but I always look angry as hell and upset to them.
Ive been in counseling for quite awhile and its helped somewhat but I've still developed to be very negative and depressing. (most likely from lack of sex and affection and it kills me)
any advice to change my attitude?

Wow, some great answers so far

Answer 1

1. Live more in the moment
Thinking about the past or the future is what we get anxious about. Rarely do we panic about the present moment. If you find yourself dwelling on something that either has already happened or has yet to occur, remind yourself that the only thing you have control over is the present. That's really the only thing that counts. Be proactive and avoid seeing yourself as a victim of circumstance, Dennis says. "You can't sit around waiting for someone to do something good for you. If you want something out of life you need to get out and get it."

2. Practise positive affirmation
Tell yourself you are strong, says Dennis. Practise saying positive things about yourself over and over and over. In the morning, wake up and say something positive. Have that be your very first thought of the day. Even if you don't believe it, or if it's a harried Monday morning and you've woken up late for work, starting your day off with a positive affirmation will help set up your day on a good note.

3. Believe in the power of positive thinking
This one may seem pretty obvious, but it's one that many people overlook. If you think positively, positive things will happen. "It's a universal law, just like gravity," Dennis says. Alternatively, if you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, don't be surprised when negative things happen. It takes a tremendous amount of work to change our thinking to a positive frame of mind, but it's worth all the effort, she says. "If you tell yourself your life is bad, it will be. It's that simple."
4. Don't dwell
Look at what's upsetting you, fix it and move on. If it's already happened, you unfortunately can't go back and change it, so dwelling on it and lamenting about what could or should have been is a waste of time and energy and just makes you feel worse about yourself. Accept whatever it is that happened and then move forward, Dennis says. It's amazing how light you will feel after dropping some of your emotional baggage.

5. Focus on the positive
Start a gratitude journal, Dennis suggests. Whether in the morning or at night -- or both -- jot down five or six things you are grateful for. They can be big or small or something as simple as "It was sunny out today" or "I had a great lunch." As long you do it on a regular, consistent basis it can help shift your negative thinking to positive. Whenever you're feeling low, go back and read your journal to reaffirm all the great things you have in your life. When we feel negative we have a tendency to forget all about what we already have and focus instead on what we don't.

6. Get moving
Exercise is paramount for feeling good because it releases endorphins, Dennis says. Whether its a walk around the block or a 10-kilometre run, activity makes us feel good in spite of ourselves. Chances are, if you're feeling low and you do even 15 minutes of activity, you'll feel better afterwards.

7. Face the fear
Negativity comes from fear, Dennis explains. "The more afraid of life you are, the more negative you tend to be." If you fear something, do it anyway. Fear is a part of life, whether we like it or not, but we all have a choice as to whether to let it stop us. Facing our fears helps to build self-esteem.

8. Try new things
Being open to trying new things also helps to build self-esteem, Dennis explains. By saying yes to life you are giving yourself more opportunity to grow and learn. Avoid the "yes, but" mentality. New experiences, big or small, help make life more exciting and provide fulfilment.

9. Shift your perspective
When something doesn't go well, find a way to reframe it in a more positive perspective. "In every challenge there's a gift, and in every gift there's a challenge," Dennis explains. Even though it can be very difficult, try to look at the good that can come from challenges. Otherwise, it's very easy to sink into despair or sadness. Do whatever you can to stay positive when times are tough.

Answer 2

I'm a naturally negative and pessimistic person, and I have problems putting on a show on the time. Tired, isn't it?

I'm a fan of lists. Make a list of things that would make you happy. Then set short term goals to accomplish them.

I'm also a big fan of school. What things would you like to learn that you haven't? Maybe cooking, learning a foreign language, hiking, orienteering? In class, you will be in an environment where you can do get to know other people while also learning something that you've always wanted to and making yourself a better person.

I find that diversion helped me a lot in the past, and I tried to avoid getting couped up in my apartment. I had almost every minute planned from movies, to lunches, (by myself), and then classes...and eventually, I made some friends.

Answer 3

You are 14. It is normal to think that you are different and want to be like every one else. I say you start dressing more cheery. The way you dress is how you are presented to the world and is sort of like a costume for your character...hell go to express, american eagle, hollister or some other trendy store that reflects some sort of happy beachyness and buy some clothes that are not dark. I used to wear all black in highschool. Long story short it is hard to be negative when you are wearing fashionable and colorful clothes and have higher self esteem as a result. lol (popular rich kids might like you better as well) just saying....

Answer 4

Watch "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. It is a documentary that could change you....to be a more positive person. Try the Sedona method to dig out past hurts,anger and dissappointments and other negative feelings. You cannot be trully happy if you just dump positives with negatives that is still cluttered inside of you.

It is said thru Maslow's hierarchy of needs that it is important to meet our needs as much as possible to be mentally healthy..so do it.

And make it a habit to think positive words.

I found out that to trully love yourself and other people is impossible if you don't love God. and How to love God? Obey His 10Commandments and apply Bible teachings into your life. Read your Bible. Good luck and remember God loves you.

Answer 5

My dear friend,

To b very frank with you, you are still "hiding" under your own shadows..walk away from it. don't let it 'haunt' and eat you up slowly..i believe that the best way to live happily, is by moving on in life.get over it.....think of what other exciting things that is going to happen to you, in your life,maybe, today or the next hour or second..i TRULY believe that the best things are yet2come..and for this to happen you MUST BELIEVE IN IT!! have the FAITH in you and also GOD.Invite him into you..and speak to Him daily ,as He will DEFINITELY answer your PRAYERS not with a 'yes' but with the 'best'! Remember,this WILL ONLY HAPPEN IF U HAVE THE BELIEVE IN IT....

P.s: Appreciate things that are happening in your life. Forget your past and DONT REGRET.. The first rule to 'invite' happiness into you is to LEARN to accept the "real" you.Love and be 'comfortable' with yourself.YOU WILL BE HAPPY!!!!

Let us pray that the world will be a BETTER place for us to live in.......

Answer 6

Get the book "Feeling Good", by Dr. David Burns. If at all possible, check with your local hospital to see if they have the informal sessions where people can get together in small groups or 15 or so to discuss the book. Do ALL the exercises in the book honestly and face up to how you think you feel. It works.

Answer 7

hi
Life is a journey and we all have a bumpy ride , don't become bitter ,it will eat you up in the end , get out more , give something back to others focus on the good things in your life and along the way you will find the happiness you crave ,
good luck x

Answer 8

aforesaid your problems, merely tackle good by counselor.
ways to deal these, I can think are

to involve much in society and help people who is in need,
try to adopt some hobbies specially movies/sketching/drawing

if you follows above these I can bet you will not feel sad...and negative that will disappear

Answer 9

It all just comes down to a choice to feel better no matter what. Even if you don't believe it. Eventually, your subconscious catches on to what your conscious is telling it to believe.

Answer 10

Think good thoughts