why is getting married so important to do before you have a baby? I don't understand the importance. i'm not trying to be rude i just dont get it. for example, my mom ALWAYS says never to have a baby until i am married - and if i get pregnant and am with someone i love, to get married before the baby comes. why why why why ? ?
2007-11-22 18:14:45 · 12 answers · asked by jenn a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It shows that you are both mature enough to make solid commitments to each other. You should not want to bring a baby into this worl before you know that both you and he are mature enough to make that forever commitment.
Besides, it give more of a reason to work the problems out. It is always harder to walk away from a marriage, then to walk away from a gf or bf.
2007-11-22 18:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh LOL, while I believe it would be a great idea to find a spouse through here cause there is indeed some great brothers and sisters here(I just typed that to someone earlier lol?), I believe most the people you listed are engaged/married, etc.. At least I know one of them is. To answer your questions though: I have not found anyone here yet, I am not married yet, and I am not engaged so, no, sadly, I am not getting married for quite a while I think :( Also, yes, getting married is indeed important :)) Edit: This post was a good idea by the way (the marriage suggestions may be a bit off though lol), I haven't seen you around here before, but welcome. Edit 2: Now if only I could find someone here! Haha.. ^^
2016-05-25 02:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by georgina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people think having sex outside marriage is a sin...and that if you have a kid outside wedlock, it's just advertising your sin for the world to see. Others think that marriage is important for security reasons when you have a child. It's sort of trying to guarentee that the person you're having the baby with will be part of your and your child's life permanantly (that they are committed enough to making things work to take vows to that effect and place legal obligations upon themselves).
Your mom could be motivated simply by not wanting to be embarrassed by you having a kid out of wedlock or your mom could be afraid that if you had a kid out of wedlock, it would be too easy for the other parent of said kid to leave you high and dry (raising the kid alone). Or maybe she just thinks that your kid would be better off with parents who are married.
I don't think marriage really guarentees anything but at least it is a symbol of commitment, and I think it's natural for children to want both parents in the same house, committed to one another legally, unless they have good reason not to want this (like maybe the parents fight all the time or one parent makes them miserable, etc). Basically, I think you can only get out of marriage what you put into it...meaning that it can be really really good or really really bad or anywhere in between, depending on the people involved and how healthy their relationship is. I think it's stupid to get married just because you have a kid with someone but I can understand why your mom wouldn't want you to be a single parent also. That can be a tough road to go down for anyone (then again so can having a bad marriage...there are just no guarentees in life except that it will always keep you guessing).
2007-11-22 18:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Janineisacoolsouthernchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a commitment that two people make together. When you make the effort to commit to another, you are willing to do anything and everything for that person and are looking out for their well being.
Having a baby with some and not being married is usually an "I'm stuck situation" and then you have not choice but to be in that person life whether you want to or not. Be smart, take your mom's advice.
2007-11-22 18:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Karen: well i believe that marriage stands for that you will stay with that one special person. and having the kid afterward is a sign of love of what you two have for each other.
Monica: i don't think you have to wait for marriage to have a baby because nowadays most couples are divorced or dysfunctional. i think as long as you're in love its okay to have a baby. by the ways, sometimes children have to suffer more watching their parents fight and be miserable.
Karen: well sometimes when a woman has a child and she is in "love" the guy might regret havng the kid with the woman. when u have the marriage its a very high percentage that the couple will stay together for a long time. and thats how grans are made
2007-11-22 18:24:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because too many guys get a girl pregnant and run.
It is protection for you and the baby - wait for a man that respects you enough to marry you first and is responsible enough to be a good husband and father. It costs money to raise a family and a husband that supports the family is essential to your future. The life of a single Mom is miserable and hell unless she is rich - don't do it. One moment's pleasure is not worth a lifetime of misery.
Your Mom is right.
Joy to you!!!
2007-11-22 18:21:58 · answer #6 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because it usually takes two people to pay the bills and nurture the child. Further the child NEEDS two parents to identify with. Why make the child suffer and have only one if you have a choice? Can you pay the bills and take care of a child on your own??!! Then make out a payment schedule, include rent, utilities, formula, diapers, school, toys, car insurance, car payment.. etc. See if you can go it alone without a job or paying a full time sitter.
2007-11-22 18:20:38 · answer #7 · answered by mosaic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't about getting married. Women are NEVER happy. Marriage is just one thing on a huge list that they think will make them happy but no matter what you do she will never be happy. You will see that once you get married she will go on to the next thing she "needs" to be happy. Put your foot down now and don't get married. Ask her why she wants to change things!??! Maybe she isn't happy and she wants to change things. If she tells you it is because she wants to feel secure tell her you could be dead tomorrow that security is just an illusion. GOOD LUCK!!!!
2007-11-23 03:48:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 commitment at a time 1 if you don't know if you want to be with him forever then not a good person to father your children 2 if making the commitment to share your life with someone to God be deal for you then considering parent way to big for you.3 if you can't give your promise in marriage to a adult then the unconditional love that will have to be given to a child your not ready either
2007-11-22 18:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by ldhotlipps 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because that's the way that it works..you should marry someone that you love and have kids. It is important to get married before you have kids.
2007-11-22 18:18:49 · answer #10 · answered by blondie 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋