First time moms?

Question

I got married last year July,because I got pregnant. We were planning to get married the end of the year, so I did marry for love. My child is now 1 year old and his beautiful. I love my family very much, but I feel I have like a midlife crisis. I suddenly miss being young and going out. Is this normal? I am a housewife and 28 years old.

I felt 100% ready for having children and getting married.

Answer 1

Absolutely normal! I had my son at 21, I love him more than anything in this world but I did have times where I would just break down and cry because I felt so lonely and overwhelmed and I just wanted to get out of the house and taste freedom for a night! I did go out with y gf's maybe twice in his first year and both times sucked! It was weird, all I wanted was to be able to go out and once I did, I spent the entire night thinking about my son and worrying about him. Both nights I wound up home early and although my ex and my son we're sound asleep and fine, I just wanted to know they we're, crawled into bed and realized how much better life is at home!
It will pass but I do suggest you get out through the day or early evening with friends see a movie, go for nachos and a drink, you know, something a little more appropriate. I'm sure your husband will understand! :)

Answer 2

To feel loved by your loved one and to be a wife/mother that gives love is absolutely not easy.

Both husband and wife after married will sink into the reality with bills, responsibilities... Then for one moment, you wonder what u are doing... You start to ask yourself if this is what u want and perhaps, you start to demand and expect attention from your partner if he/she is not giving u 'enough attention'... and that's when problem(s) happen.

You need space of your own. One way to identify is that when you prepare food on the table, is there any of your favourite dish? If there's none, you need to realise that you have care more for your people around you and that you have neglected yourself.

This is a way to identify if you have given space to yourself to relearn about yourself and being able to feel your presence among your family members. If you have that space, you didnt lose yourself.

Sometimes, in marriage, we want to please our husband and take good care of our children that we neglected about our own needs. It's not about to shifting the attention away from your family and only focus about yourself. It's about keeping the balance that you are happy and that your family is happy too.

Right now, your family maybe happy but you are not.

This is only the beginning if you start to feel this way. Remember to keep a balance. Dont go for drastic change.

Find your own space to do something you like and at the same, find the space that you and husband would like to do and that both of you can share 'special moments' together perhaps once a week or every 2 weeks.

I always believe that quality of time must come from quatity of time. If you dont have the quantity, you will not have the quality.

Do take care!

Answer 3

You are bored and need to find activities that you enjoy. It is normal to feel that way however you just need to let those feelings go away. I got married with my first husband at the age of 22 he left me for another woman. I was single at 26 and started going to bars and trying to be young again. It just wasn't the same especially after having a child. It was fun when you were younger because you were care free and had no responsibilities. Going into bars later on you start to see younger crowds and you start to feel old. Your priorities should be your family and especially your wonderful 1 year old. Start making friends and go out to lunch or shopping with them while your husband watches your baby.

Answer 4

Parents is a full time job.. forever. So I think you should think before you get pregnant and get married. Why do it if you are not ready? I understand, You love your family.. but it wouldn't be fair, especially to your son if his mom start to think like he's a burden, coz now after you have him you missed your young and going out times. (You're 28, this is not middlelife crisis).

Answer 5

This doesn’t sound like a mid-life crisis. You just miss the days when you were carefree and had no responsibilities. That's not abnormal (sometimes I miss them too), but you have to realize that you can't return to the past. But if you miss going out, you can get a babysitter occasionally and have a night out with hubby. I’d suggest you do that.

Answer 6

I believe so, cant you go out and have a good time with daddy?
Or cant you take a Girls night out?
I have a 28 year old wife, and I suggest she goes out everynow and then.
Our boy is only 3 months though.

Or cant you retreat to like Mom and Dads to get away?

I also wholeheartavly agree with both the two ladies above me.Expecially the one right above me.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. I think every young mom yearns for that young feeling once in their life.

Don't feel bad, you just need to take some time out for yourself. My husband and I go out without the kids at least twice a month and we have our own personal time once a month. It does wonders for your marriage and also family life.

Just try and take some time to do something for you with out the hubby or baby. Your normal, just wanting something a little different. Take care and God Bless!

Answer 8

i know how you feel. i got married in march because i was pregnant, and we also were planning to be married later in the year. my son is 6 weeks old now and i feel like that..i wanna be young and be able to do whatever i want again. and i'm only 18.
i'd definitely say it's normal.

Answer 9

Believe me , its totally normal, my son is 2 and I cant remember when last I actually went out with friends or to a club. I feel depro all the time. But when you go and sit down. And look at his beautiful face, i realized, I'd rather be at home with him than drinking at a club. have a braai at your place and invite a few friends. this way you'll still be around them. And you will know your son is save.

Answer 10

look up the words of "The Everyday Houswife" by Glenn Campbell, and "Even Now" by Barry Manilow. I know, 'Barry" but the words are great. We all have felt that way. Just don't give in to the temptation to going back to that . It will destroy your little family!!!