Am i being homophobic?

Question

Hi im 19, female from the uk and im bixsexual but more into boys than girls.

Ok im just wondering if im being really mean or homophobic?

I 100% belive in gay marriage but...i just dont agree with gay parenting...

The thing is i relise (sorry cant spell and writing in a rush) that a gay couple would raise a child just as good or bad as a hetero couple would because sexuality has nothing to do with your personality etc but i just dont think gay couples should be able to adopt.

The main reason i feel this way is that a child needs a mom and dad, and i know there are lots of single parents families out there who raise kids fine but i bet the kids still mising somthing. Two gay men cant be a mum and dad and two gay women cant be a dad and mom, they just arents and a child knows it. I just feel without the comfort of a mum and dad role kids are missing somthing or could grow up lonely no matter how good thier same sex parents are they need a female and male.

Also as im bisexual if i end up spending my life with a women i would really want kids but i wouldnt adopt, because i just feel they would be missing the role of a father.

Gay people can be wonderful mums and dads but you need the balance of female and male.

btw im NOT the type of person who wants to be a homewife or anything! Im not sexiest but a child knows whos the father and whos the mother even if the roles are different e.g the mother working and making the income and a stay at home dad.

im NOT saying a woman should act like a woman and cook and clean and stay at home and a man work and be a man....! of corse not im so agaisnt all that stuff im JUST saying the child knows who is the daddy and who is the mummy and its very comforting to have that balance even if they dont act like female and male they still bilogical are so its good to know.

Also of corse its better to have oppisite sex parents as its nature, the balance of the male and female . althrough times change i still think you need what nature clearly indicates (im an athestist btw)

Answer 1

Well, even if you are right, this may be an occasion where the best is the enemy of the good.

Children who are not adopted spend time in foster care or group homes, and once they age out of the system, there's no longer any institutional support to care for them as they learn to make their way in the world. However, children who are adopted know that they are wanted (by at least one single or two committed adults), that they will always have a family, and that the experience of being loved is within their repertoire. This is a much greater influence on a child than ensuring that there is a parent of both genders living beneath the same roof. And I can tell you from experience as a family therapist, there are a lot of good reasons to have two parents who are a couple caring for children, because tag-teaming is almost always beneficial to help everyone remain sane.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^

Answer 2

Your not really being homophobic...just a little unenlightened about how people and families really work. Consider...why does someone need a female parent and a male parent? Why are two parents of the same gender really any different? Not all men are alike...so even people who have a mom and a dad are not having the same experience as someone else who also has the traditional family. What probably scares people the most about same-sex parents is the possible breakdown of gender roles. We expect women to behave one way and men to behave another...and start to worry if a child isn't seeing these roles clearly defined. That is why people always ask a lesbian couple, "who is the man?" or "who is the husband." It is just inconceivable for there to be a family w/o a clear man and woman.
Also, is a child really better off bouncing from foster home to foster home? or living in an orphanage? why not put them into a loving home w/ two parents?...even if they happen to both be men or women

Answer 3

I think that a kid develops differently to some extent without a mom or day although I don't know so much about worse or better. But this still isn't something that should be controlled by the government. Should the government ban single parents from taking care of their kids? Of course not. That is their choice. And besides I have friends who have single/divorced parents and they turned out just fine.

Answer 4

as long as the home is filled with love and supprto it shouldn't matter if both parents happen to be of the same sex. i didn't have my real father around but i grew up with a mother and father, and when they split when i was 15, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. i hated being forced to play sports, i hated having to watch "masculine" television programs.
and also the roles that mother and fathers play aren't set anymore like they used to. the majority of the heterosexual couples ik now wiht kids, it's the dad that picks the kids up from school and takes them to soccer and cooks for the kids while mom runs errands and goes to the cleaners or goes to get the car tuned up. a buddy of mine refuses to let his wife do any of the laundry because she always messes it up. and one of my friends who was raised by two women, she graduated first in her class and is working really hard and kicking but as a freshman at one of america's finest law schools. no daddy, but she turned out just fine

Answer 5

I disaggree. i know that a man cant be as much of a mum as woman and vise versa. but its not the one factor that makes a person happy or stable.
Your point of view does make sense. but in practise it is a fact that many children of gays turn out fine and many children of straights can be screwy. and vice versa.

therefore there is little to nothing to do with the sexuality or design of your parent figures. wether man/woman man/man woman/ woman.
kids face challenges and teasing no matter what.

Yea you would be considered homophobic because you are generalising the gay people.
but i can see where your thinking is.

Answer 6

well you are from the uk so no one really cares. and if you ended up with a woman you wouldnt want to adopt because you would want the kid to have a father...okay...well do you plan on having a kid then or does your partner...because if neither of those apply...good luck on having a kid...maybe you should stick with a dog. you completely just contradicted yourself. although i suggest you just not have kids...we dont need more people like you in this world.

Answer 7

Well I guess you also support the children suffering in orphanages right now.

Not one model parent is perfect. There are mom and dad units that are greatly flawed--the dad's a drunkard who beats his wife and kids. Yea, I think I'd rather have two dads that would love me, don't you think?

Answer 8

You're only 19 and I guarantee your views on this subject will change by the time you're 30 or have children of your own. Don't put yourself into a box because of your views now IMO

Answer 9

Two gay Dad, 2 woman Mom, that's funny, but not good.

Answer 10

LOL

Two women or two sexy men raising children is better than one parent or no parents.

Wake up, Sweetie. Smell reality. It's right in front of you!

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