Would you ever marry a policemen, firemen, or any military men? I've been going out with this really nice guy, and he's a cop. All my friends tell me to find another man, someone who won't die in lie of duty. So my question is would you marry a men who's profession is dangerous, and might not come home to you?
2007-11-22 16:54:56 · 38 answers · asked by Tina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I felt the same way as some of your friends. I had a rule when dating that I would never date a military man because I just didn't think I could emotionally handle the stress that comes along with it. But then I met my now husband. He was in the Army at the time (he's out now). I told him my "rule" but we talked anyway. We fell in love and didn't look back. While it's always a concern that he could go back to Iraq and he could die, I would at least know he died doing something he believed in and has a passion for. I married him knowing he would never be a 9 to 5 type of guy. He loves adventure and the comraderie you get from the military. I would be selfish for caging him up in a traditional career, even though he'd do that if that's what I truly wanted and I pushed for it. I would rather know he's happy in what he's doing even if it means I will one day have to suffer a loss that's unimaginable. It would be worse, in my mind, to make him do something he hates for the rest of his life.
Being the wife of a military man, a copy, or someone who risks his life for others is an honor and takes great courage. If you see a future with this man, then I would give it a chance. Don't end this before it's even begun!
2007-11-22 17:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Boy! I'm married to an Air Force Firefighter, let me tell you it isn't easy! He has yet to be deployed, and he has never seen a real fire on a military base because they do so much more than regular places to fireproof their buildings, but I still worry everyday. I have a few girls in one of my classes whose husbands were just called up for a 15 month deployment...when do they leave you might ask? in 4 days. I always swore I'd NEVER EVER marry a military man, well I met a man, fell in love and THEN he joined the military. It gets really hard, but we do crazy things for the men we love. Only you can decide if it's worth it, and just realize, wives of men in these type of positions tend to give a lot more than they get, and sometimes they really do come second. It's a horrible feeling to know that their job can take them away for months at a time and you can't do anything about it. Personally, I can't wait until our 6 year enlistment is up, but....I wouldn't change my life for the world.
2007-11-22 17:00:54 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel-o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are seriously questioning your decision to get married based just on what your friends said, then you should take that into consideration. Marriage is very important, and if you are uncertain that this particular guy is right for you, especially just because your friends have worried you a little, you might want to reconsider.
However, if you do love him, and you can really see yourself being happy with him well into old age, don't let his profession stand in the way! ANY of us could die at any time. Maybe his odds are increased a little, but would you refuse to marry someone because he had a heart problem? Or would you break it off with a fiance after discovering he had a history of diabetes in his family?
2007-11-22 17:19:56 · answer #3 · answered by Pip 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, I would definitely consider marrying a cop, fireman, or military guy! I have the utmost respect for them, and many of them are very special people to be able to do what they do.
When you are with a man in a dangerous profession, you need to think that he will come home safely to you everyday. Dwelling on the fact that he might be killed in the line of duty would drive you insane! Think about it...every one of us risks getting killed everyday (accidents, car wrecks, etc...), but we don't think about that everyday, do we? NO! We'd go crazy!
If your man is good to you and you're happy, then stay with him. He needs a loving, supportive partner to keep him strong out there when the going gets tough...and another reason to stay safe and come home!
2007-11-22 17:02:38 · answer #4 · answered by Nonny0928 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are my thoughts: If you decide to marry him, don't try to change him (any man) because that's not fair to him. Obviously being a cop, taking that risk to make the rest of us safe is a passion, because you don't just stumble into being a cop, and to try to change someone you love from doing something that they are called to do, is selfish and uncaring and unloving.
All that said, I personally could not see myself dealing well with the stress of worrying about my husband being a cop, firefighter or military man and would really have to evaluate myself to know if that would be a good choice for me.
I don't have to make it however because I'm already married. LOL
2007-11-22 17:12:44 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A proffession is not the only reason to not consider getting involved. I'm married to an active duty soldier. It is not easy. That's probably more difficult than a policeman. Soldiers and other military persons are gone for months at a time. Policeman might be gone for days a time. More maybe. But take it slow.
2007-11-22 17:08:19 · answer #6 · answered by Hawai'i 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a militar man. Your friends are stupid, everyone dies. Even a lawyer stands a chance of being hit by a car crossing the street. Were the poeple who were killed in the 911 attackes Police or firefighters? If you're going to pick and choose someone to be with based upon whether they will die or not I suggest you forget about having any type of relationships.
2007-11-22 17:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would marry a man in any of those professions. If you worry all the time about things that you can't control, then what fun is life? You may be missing out on something really special.
2007-11-22 16:59:55 · answer #8 · answered by witchywoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course i would. over anyone. i'm a female soldier in the army reserve and i rather marry another military personnel over a civilian because both the soldier & i went through the same hard training. we have connections. a civilian wouldn't understand what a soldier has to go through. i'm sorry but your friend is being ridiculous. i rather be loved then not being loved at all. it's the way of life. if you really love the guy then you will respect him in his profession. you shouldn't say that you won't date someone because you are scare that they will die in duty.
2007-11-22 20:41:03 · answer #9 · answered by Asian GI Jane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most policemen are borderline sociopaths. Many are very abusive toward their own wives. It takes a special person to be able to carry a gun, blow someone's brains out, then get up and go to work the next day. People who choose this type of career are attracted to it for a reason. So, be careful.
2007-11-23 05:09:55 · answer #10 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋