Why do WOMEN get so DEFENSIVE when men try to HELP them improve their BEHAVIOR?

Question

Look at this article and the nasty responses from women. I was shocked because nothing in the article was offensive.

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/16758/11-things-women-dont-know-about-men

The rude defensive responses from women just make women look like spoiled brats. They want to behave however they want and guys have to accept it. But they can talk forever about ways men need to change... AMAZING...

"TERA" I guess that article was talking about women like you.. if you got offended. Most of the women here thought it was funny. I think its true.. yes even the make-up thing.. which.. you women somehow twisted into an INSULT when in reality its simply saying "you look BETTER with make-up" Like a man looks BETTER in a suite... get it?

"TERA" I think you take life alittle too seriously... just a little.. :)

Answer 1

I'm female, and I didn't find the article all that offensive. It was amusing. Most of it pretty much rang true. It wasn't chauvinistic, so much as practical. Not all of it applies to every single woman, and it's important not to take humorous articles like that personally to begin with. Assuming it's directed specifically AT YOU is a little arrogant, anyway.

I think the women who commented are the sort of women that the article is essentially directed at, so of course they would get offended. :-P Someone lightheartedly criticized their unreasonable behavior, so they got mad. They need to develop a sense of humor.

On the other hand, there are a ton of things guys do that are infuriating, so maybe it wouldn't hurt to listen to the other side of the story, too...

Oh, and keep in mind, the women who bothered to respond are the ones who got offended by it. Most of us just don't care!

Answer 2

I thought the list was pretty realistic, amusing, and non-offensive. Its a bit annoying that some people go through life with a radar on high alert for offensive/sexist remarks, and will sit and type nasty hateful little knee-jerk responses - like the one I am typing now - at every opportunity. It would be nice if they could just take the words in the spirit they were intended i.e. a way to make money for the author and raise his career profile so that he is more successful and appealing to women. Kind of backfired, but can't someone write to this poor chump and offer him a back rub at least? That list probably took him ages to get right.

Answer 3

They have to be right, we have to be wrong, just look at all the women here who agree with you, but then they have to add on something just so that they can make themselves right and you wrong.
Having better behavior in the eyes of men will not change because they have a problem with what we feel, its our opinions and whether or not a woman wants to agree its still what we feel and they cant change it by disagreeing or being bitchy.
I know they dont like what Im saying but thats the point, this is our opinions, getting mad at us for saying what we feel isnt going to help. They can accept it and understand what we think, or they can ignore it and never really understand us.
I bet most of the women here will think Im condescending, but Im just trying to express that its not fair to ignore what we tell them about ourselves. We are experts about us, only we can say what we are feeling so its a good idea to take notes.

Answer 4

Feminism teaches that it is the "evil" controlling patriarchy (read men) that oppresses women. So any demand of certain behaviors by men is seen as oppressive and controlling. Women are suppose to be free, so they are taught to be opposed to any influence by men that could be seen as controlling. Women get a chip installed on their shoulder from the factory (feminist indoctrination at college) that gives them a knee-jerk reaction to men's influence.

Of course, it's "ok" for women make demands on the behavior of men -- they have a right to expect certain behavior of them.

Another stupid double standard espoused by feminists.

Men have a right to demand certain behavior and ethics from women (just as the reverse is true).

Answer 5

nicely, adult adult males are protecting about each little thing contained in the first position. mainly, no individual (adult adult males or women human beings) likes to be criticized or scrutinized, and oftentimes the further protecting human beings get, potential they're putting up a psychological barrier from listening to it, because they comprehend it truly is actual about them and do not opt for to well known it. no individual likes to have "b.s." observed as on them. And even as the guy you attempt to communicate about personality flaws to takes position to be male, the total male ego kicks in. Proud, macho, and really pig-headed, no guy needs to take heed to at least something that makes him out to be something decrease than Superman, because the truly narrow, tunnel-inventive and prescient-esque concepts of a guy make's him imagine he's the ruler of the universe. each guy has a God complicated, and is one hundred% confident that the international revolves completely round him. take heed to a guy whinge about yet another guy's personality defects. do not you fantastically a lot listen countless issues that he could basically as certainly be affirming to describe himself? Having extra money, a larger domicile, a hotter spouse, an greater golfing score... those are not the flaws adult adult males hate about different adult adult males. The issues adult adult males hate about different adult adult males are the flaws they don't like about themselves. (adult adult males truly don't like it even as somebody else has a larger "centerpiece" than them regardless of the reality that)

Answer 6

Defending comes when someone isn't asking for the help. It is the force issue for some.

I accept people the way they are; and don't try to change them.(know this isn't realistic).

I don't think guys look better in suits.

I am not offended, because just because I am female, doesn't mean that those apply to me. Both species, has generalties and faults...it's ok.

Answer 7

I didn't see anything wrong, insulting, or new with what he wrote, nor did i detect rudeness from the women. I think sometimes we look for things that aren't there but that doesn't stop us from finding them.

Answer 8

Because they had been raised to be a princess Girls of today are absolutely terrible and who's fault ..Their parents But you guys are paying a high price I hope your generation will raise your children lot better than the other generation

Answer 9

That was amusing. It didn't offend me at all. The other women who got upset about it figured it was directed at them, I guess.
If they really feel that way maybe they should pay attention to the article. There should be one on guys also, though. Men do some stupid things now and again too.

Answer 10

This article isn't about ways women can change, or about things they should change. It's a sexist statement that is saying that we should accept the fact that we're less attractive unless we wear makeup, that we should be happy being objectified (us walking around naked is far more interesting than wearing clothes), we shouldn't expect men to respect our desires if he doesn't agree that these desires should be viewed as "important," and we should be completely alright reciprocating large gestures of love for his small gestures. I could go on, but this is evidence enough to me that this guy has NO "Ph D" in understanding relationships. He's probably divorced, single, and somewhat bitter, although he makes attempts to hide his bitterness by masking them (and not very well) with weak attempts at patronizing humor. The only part of the article that stands out as true is that a woman really ought to consider marrying a "nice guy" over someone who's a jerk. (And that last little bit was probably added to the list by his ex-wife.)

EDIT: His statements come across as patronizing- and as a strong, assertive, self-confident woman I don't find his tone at all amusing. He mixes one or two good pieces of advice or information inside of tons of chauvanism, and sadly, quite a few women seem to have missed the forest for the trees. Oh well. Proud to say I'm a critical thinker and not afraid to speak up about what I truly think. If the article is supposed to be taken in jest, then why does it not say so? The way it is written suggests that it is meant to be taken seriously.