Would you offer some advice, please?

Question

I have been told my many that I bring joy to them through laughter and a positive and upbeat personality. But one or two people have hurt my feelings yesterday, so much in fact that I became physically ill. Those two made me feel so horrible that I forgot about the people who appreciate me. How do I put aside the thoughts of despair due to less than a handfull of people, and continue to be the person I truly am? I feel that it may be difficult for me to face these two mean people, and that I may even have to change myself to "accomodate" them. How can I stay who I am and not let them beat me down? I am in fear of these two causing problems for me at my job, otherwise I have no problem in ripping them a new one. Their pettiness and what ever else they have making their lives miserable, do they seek me out as a target because I am able to be what they can not? A happy person? I ask because this is a problem of mine and I find it difficult to be objective. Thank you.

Answer 1

You can only be what your born to be..Your personality is unique like everybodys..Id say confront the fears or what ever these two people have put in you,ask yourself why they did what they did..Jealousy so often the culprit,..Did they touch on a subject in you that has made you question yourself...Id say carry on being yourself as that's all you can do..Please do not let two people,make you unhappy..Their actions and words reflect them not you Stay strong,focused and happy ...Although in life you will always meet some people who like you and those who dont...Keep doing what you do best and makes you happy...Good Health

Answer 2

Well, you've just learned a very valuable lesson in life. Not everybody likes your upbeat personality.
You cannot be approved of by everybody. That's not possible in a real world. And when you try to please everybody, you wind up losing yourself to the pretense it takes.

There is always an alternative to the black and white thinking you know. Perhaps you could "tone down" the exuberance a bit. You don't change who you are, you just learn the art of compromise when it comes to the jobsite. The people you see as "mean" may be simply giving you a wonderful opportunity in life to grow and evolve. In an office situation, over exuberance and joyfullness can be quite irritating and annoying. I don't know the details of the situation, I'm only guessing but people who are incessantly upbeat and cheerful can be extremely difficult on personalities who are not like minded.
Open your mind and try to recognize that all people are not you, they don't think like you, they don't act like you, they don't have the personality you have nor do they want to. They're probably not trying to be mean as much as they are trying to get you to realize that in an office situation, you have to be especially sensitive to those around you.
I remember a really sweet lady I worked with once, but she was a whistler. It about drove everybody nuts. Another lady was a loud talker. Another was forever on the phone with her family. They were very much liked but their habits were very nervewracking in a tight office atmosphere where all sounds are an added stress to the work.

It's only my 2 cents worth so take it with a grain of salt.

Answer 3

I agree with Emma's analysis of them. Avoid these people as much as possible.

Understand that we are all individual personalities. We don't have to like everybody and they don't have to like us.

Treat them with courtesy when you have to deal with them, but choose to be with people you like more and who like you as much as you can.

I would not suggest any thoughts or acts of retribution, because that will backfire onto you.

Keep your self esteem up and ignore their pettiness. If you don't react to their meanness, you will take the fun out of it and they'll go looking for a more vulnerable target.

Watch to see who the new target is and befriend that person quickly. Relate your experience and support that person.

This experience will make you a stronger, kinder and more compassionate person in the long run.

Good Luck

Answer 4

You hit it on the nose at the end of your story, they target you because you are able to be what they want to be and can't.
You are being yourself and that is most important in your life.
DO NOT change for someone else.
Either they figure out how to accept you or tell them to leave you alone.
That's what I do "if you don't like what I am doing, then do it yourself" "If you don't like me then keep away from me".
Tell them they are not going to change you and you do not need their negativness in your life.
Sometimes you just have to get to know a person better and find out where they are coming from.
It may not be as simple as it seems.
Sometimes if you try to figure someone out and can't, you just have to keep away from them.

Answer 5

people can tell you a thousand nice things in one day, but just one put down can affect you terribly.
I have a feeling these two are putting you down delliberately, maybe because you are better at work than them?
Ignoring their comments may eventually stop them, but you may still feel hurt.
Maybe its better to get them to focus attention on themselves next time they try to put you down.
If they say something bad, agree with them, then say something about the quality or quantity of your work that day, and ask about theirs.
Whatever they say, remind yourself, and them if necessary, that you like yourself just the way you are, faults included.

You could actually try the light hearted approach as well.
They say something bad about you and you respond quite eagerly, saying something like 'Oh I know, i'm terrible. also I have this fault and that fault, never understand myself! And you? What are your bad points?'

Answer 6

I wouldn't follow my advise but, I say rip em a new one , if they cost you a job , so what ! they are dirt benieth your fingernails to be flicked away , be yourself , if their life gets itself all tangled up in yours ,,, I feel sorry for them , but thats just me , like I said I wouldn't follow my advise if I were you ,but the flick is for them

Answer 7

You have to realise that people who treat you with low self respect are cowards themselves. Don't deal with these people unless it's job related.

Answer 8

Report their behavour to your boss.

Answer 9

go talk to those who like you.