bar/bat mitzwah?

Question

hey guys, just wanted ask you some questions on bar mitzwah. these questions are directed to jewish people who have witnessed or have had their bar/bat mitzwahs.

1) what are the preparations that your family made for the success of your bar/bat mitzwah?
2)is having your bar/bat mitzwah special or important to you?
3) is it mandatory to have a bat/bar mitzwah?
4) can you describe the ceremony? Do you feel any different after having your bat/bar mitzwah?

you don't have to answer ALL of these questions...just a few or even one, it doesn't matter.

Answer 1

1. Preparation for the bar/bat mitzvah requires several years of learning Hebrew and then an intensive 9 months to a year of preparing for being called to the Torah on the specific day, to chant the specific texts for that day, with the appropriate blessings. The family usually goes to great effort and expense to honor this occasion. My neighbors in rural NH couldn't fathom why we were making such an elaborate party for a 13 year old (hiring a hall, hiring a band, florist, caterer...) when in fact, by the usual bat mitzvah standards, the party we made for my daughter was pretty modest.
2. I have never known anyone who became a bar or bat mitzvah who didn't, for the rest of their life, measure a part of their self-esteem in some small way, on the basis of how well they performed their part of the service, and on how "well taken care of" they felt by their family and the celebration given in their honor. As an adolescent, I was thrilled just to have a bat mitzvah ceremony at all, since I was the first girl in my synagogue to do so, but I've never forgotten that I did not get to do exactly what the boys got to do. It's a long time ago, things have changed, but I felt short-changed and I've never forgotten it. Issues of equality in Jewish practice have remained an "issue" for me.
3. No it isn't mandatory. You come of age whether you are publicly called to the Torah or not.
4.A bar/bat mitzvah is a true rite of passage. Take a typical 13 year old, and stand them up in front of everyone they know, expect them to memorize pages of an ancient language (of which, usually, they understand nothing...) to be chanted word-perfect and pitch-perfect, all by rote, and then to give a speech explaining what it all means to them, in front of their family, cousins, school friends and anyone else they might possibly feel embarrassed to make a mistake in front of.... well, it might not be as dangerous as some other cultures' rites of passage (killing a lion...) but it's a mighty big ordeal for that typical 13 year old to get through. Yes, you feel different afterward, more self-confident. And you now "count" when the congregation needs a minyan, a prayer-quorum, which makes a kid feel important and grown up. Most Jewish kids, after the bar/bat mitzvah, stand a little taller, and it's not just a growth-spurt.

Answer 2

1. There are the religious preparations -- making sure I was eductaed enough to do the rituals
and the regular preparations (renting the room, buying lfowers, getting a caterer, making invitations etc)

2. The bar mitzvah is special not because it is a party but because it marks a moment when a young person has to take responsibility and understand the consequences of his actions

3. a bar mitzvah is a moment -- when you turn an age. While we often mark it with a celebration, it happens no mater what.

4. Often times, the celebration of that moment hinges on the recitation of prayers, being called to read or make a blessing at the reading of the Torah or to put on phylacteries for the first time. Other times, a speech is given.

Answer 3

no 'w'...mitzvah