I thought I was doing okay. It has been 11 months since my ex and I spilt up. I could afford what we 'had'... but i had to refinance the house to get his name off - and that changed my mortgage by an additional $300+ per month.
I have a huge credit card bill from the attorney that i hired.
and plus the 2nd income isn't here in the house -- plus with him gone - it is just me . . . so sometimes it is hard getting OT at work because "I NeeD" to get home to the kids - he isn't there.
plus when we split up - he took stuff like the lawnmower - i went out and had to get one. . he took the TV so i went out and got one...
so i have added to my debt too.
just wondering if it is just me . . . or is this a part of this situation?
2007-11-22 14:36:44 · 12 answers · asked by Miss Kelly 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Been there...Done that!!!
That's life and I am not being mean...
It is just the way it is...
It is unfortunate of course, and I was left as a single mom as well as with debts...
He just went off and had fun...
I learned from that experience and never again will I let a man take advantage of me...
All you do is keep all debts and finances separate...
No joint accounts ever again...
Keep your things in your name only and his in his name only...
Bank accounts, credit cards, loans, and savings all separate in name...
No one will ever ruin you again that way...
Here in Texas, child support is strickly enforced, and the least amount per child is $200. per month...
You can place him in Jail or collect his tax return if you file on him in court...
2007-11-22 15:03:09 · answer #1 · answered by aspenkdp2003 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
as a MAN who went through a divorce five years ago. She had the "he's just a friend" on the side issue...I left, told her that I would pay all the bills, all the credit cards, as long as she and I cut the cards up, I did not want my name attached to them, the damage had already been done once. She wanted no child support, she wanted the house and everything in it, the car plus half of my retirement when I did retire..iin exchange for no child support. MISTAKE 1....to court we went times three...I paid the cards off first and she laughed. It's hard not to be bitter about it, but I look at it this way...shame on her the first time, didn't realize she would stoop so low....at least I can say she didn't get anything else! I sold HER the rider, I sold the Tiller and I paid for the CANCUN trip that we took a month earlier. (she knew this was going to happen, yet she lacked the umpth to tell me, so she got the free trip...20 years down the drain) She married the fool that was just the friend and I'm better off ! YEAH !!!
2007-11-22 15:24:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Married couples usually get into debt together, with both incomes they can afford it. Of course, when a divorce happens, they'll usually split the debt or one carries the burden. It's pretty common.. Nothing unusual in your case. Just be smart about your money and pay down credit cards, etc.. Try not to buy or open up more credit until you're comfortable with your finances. good luck
2007-11-22 14:44:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normal - you have experienced costs that are not ordinary and things will level out for you. When you need items in near future, like your lawnmower example, consider looking on craigslist under free stuff, perhaps that would save you a couple bucks her and there. Keep your head up - you'll be fine.
2007-11-22 14:51:08 · answer #4 · answered by AT 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your lawyer screwed you over. if you get the house, you were supposed to get all domestic utensils as well, i.e. lawn care tools, most household devices, removable lawn ornaments (above ground pool, etc) and stuff like that. you should take him back to court, get an order for him to pay a certain percentage of the household costs since you have his 2 kids, and increase the child support. $64 a week is just ridiculous for 2 kids, i don't care who you are. Not sure what state you live in, but i live in alabama, and we have a law where a parent must pay 20-30% of their income in alimony/child support. just something to think over.. oh yeah, you can also get an order for him to pay for the legal fees you incurred in the divorce. good luck!
2007-11-22 14:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by Kristin S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced for almost 4 years and I am just now on my feet. I can look back now, and realize how much stronger it made me. Hang in there, things will get better believe that.
I'm sure you have heard of Karma...hope your ex has too!
2007-11-22 16:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by cmaria 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends what your financial situation for the two of you. If you were just living from pay check to pay check then yes, it is not easy to make it financially. You should seek child support.
2007-11-22 14:51:47 · answer #7 · answered by margarita lady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not divorced, but everybody I know divorced was strapped financially for at least 10 years.
2007-11-22 14:44:30 · answer #8 · answered by Pancakes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course they do....most of the single people I know that are out there having sex with many lovers...all have one thing in common.
broke.
And if you are recently divorced...more than likely you are financially ruined AND broke.
But look at the bright side...at least now you can have many lovers.
2007-11-22 14:42:25 · answer #9 · answered by male.confused 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
that's rather normal unfortunately necessity leads to bad financial decisions and impulsive decisions. i truly hope you find what your looking for.
2007-11-22 14:55:48 · answer #10 · answered by triminman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋