Is it ok to never let my future kids know that there isn't a santa?

Question

Like never let them believe that some fat guy comes down the chimney...and to just let them know myself and my future husband bought them with our hard earned money....

Answer 1

It's not up to us to decide for you, you do what is right for you.

Personally I like the idea of a little fantasy in this politically correct world - I was never told and haven't told the kids, they both have worked it out for themselves. But they are still believers in the magic of Christmas, why take that away from them?

Answer 2

I don't know about you,but I was quite upset when I found out my parents had lied to me and there really wasn't a santa. I made it clear when my children were babies that I didn't want anyone telling them there was a santa. Why start lying to them at birth? That's the way I always saw it. My girls have never even questioned it. They don't say anything to other kids that believe in him though because I think that would be disrespectful. Those ones will find out eventually also. They can have just as much fun w/o it as with the belief

Answer 3

Isn't it interesting that no one makes a big deal out of the fact that most Disney characters aren't real...but have an issue with Santa Claus.

I think that is a personal choice left up to you and your spouse...but I really don't agree with it...but it's not really my place to shove beliefs down your throat. I'm giving you a link on how to know when or if you should tells kids there's no Santa Claus and then you can decide from there what is right for you.

Keep in mind, too, you can't shield them forever, other kids will talk about santa, and their parents and teachers will probably not appreciate it if you tell those kids there's no santa and "spoil their fun."

Answer 4

I understand. I can relate to a lot of what you have said. I've had a lot of days like the one you seem to be having. I came from a strong, traditional family that didn't have any divorce in it until my generation. I'm not stupid, far from it, but I too married someone I thought wanted a marriage and a family, who in the end, did not. It sounds like you and your boyfriend are doing the right things, but that it seems like something is off at this point for you. It sounds like maybe you think that the relationship should be moving or should have moved to another level by now, but you seem to think that your boyfriend is not in the same place. I don't think that amounts to him not being trustworthy. Maybe he's just unsure how to move things forward at this point. Maybe you are both at the same place, and he knows you're still worried about your kids getting hurt, and that's holding him back. Maybe he is worried about measuring up or creating a hurtful situation where their dad is concerned. I think you need to talk about where you are and where you're going with your boyfriend, and any concerns either of you have where the kids are concerned. His concerns and hestitations may not be as bad as you might think. And I hate to say it, but there is no guarantee that will ensure the kids won't get hurt. I would encourage you to consider a couple of different perspectives. If you are loving and taking care of your kids, they probably do not care that it is just the three of you. One good parent is better than an infinite number of bad parents and family. It is tiring, very tiring, but it is when you're married too. I think you are going too hard on yourself and you are too worried about what it's like for your kids because of how you always wanted things to be. I never imagined that I would be dealing with child rearing, house, car, yard, etc. on my own either, but being married doesn't make things perfect. It is another set of hands in the house, another smile, another hug, but it is also another set of needs, expectations, shortcomings, and desires. The perfect person is what makes it perfect, and if you and your boyfriend are still figuring out if that's him, then slow is the way to go. I would try to let go a little of how you always wanted things to be and see all the things that are good (and all the things that are not a problem) in what you have. The second thought is, don't be so determined that no one will get hurt that you won't take a leap that should be taken. True, some hurts are avoidable and should be avoided. But your kids will have some hurts in their lives, you can't prevent them all. Intact families can serve up their own hurts as well. Familial disappointments are a part of life, whatever kind of family you have. If the right thing for your family right now is for your boyfriend to become a bigger part, take a chance. Sometimes it's not as important not to get hurt as to live your life and show your kids how to cope with what life brings, good and bad. Good luck to all of you!

Answer 5

Santa is a child like belief that they will figure out in time just as they figure out there is no tooth fairy or Easter Bunny. Part of being a child is to believe in Santa, Sesame Street, and Superman and probably stimulates imagination, the reason Walt Disney became a millionaire and kids had a place to dream when he built the first Disneyland.

Answer 6

When they get about 10 they will soon start to figure out there is no real Santa. But for now make him real. Think if you tell them you get all the presents their going to think that your really made of money trust me they will. What if they ask for something that they want and your not able to get it? Now if they belived Santa was bringing it but they never got it they wouldn't be thinking i hate mom for not getting me what i want or they start crying cause you didn't get them what they wanted and it would make you upset as well yes? They would be thinking I hate Santa ( not mom or dad though the fat guy is to blame) But also teach them that Christmas isn't about reciveing either teach them to give they will grow up to be more caring.

Answer 7

My kids believed until the 4th grade...then I told them that Santa is more about the Spirit of the Holiday, and that he was really modeled after Saint Nicholas who really did exsist a veryyyyyy long time ago. The reason I told them is because other kids in school may not believe and I didnt want my kids to find out from them and be really upset......but cautioned them that younger kids still believe in a Santa....so keep the secret!

Answer 8

One of my best memories when i was younger was leaving cookies out for Santa and setting out carrots for the reindeer and just believing that Santa was real. I couldn't have imagined Christmas being the same without Santa. The whole spirit of Christmas is the birth of Christ though, so as long as they know about that, I think that Christmas will still be special.

Answer 9

Let them believe. Having them know that you and your husband spent the money would make no difference to them at their young age. They will soon find out when they get older that santa doesn't exsist but, they're kids! Let them have fun and believe whatever they wish too. I'm pretty sure that if I were a kid and my mom told me that there was no santa I'd get really mad. They might not even beleive you!

Answer 10

My mom never told me Santa was real. And my kids have always known there was no santa. We still have fun putting out cookies that they know I will nibble on to pretend santa came. We still label presents as from Santa. We still send a christmas email to "santa" Sometimes we even log in and track santa on that tracking website. However they know it is all just pretend, and something that is fun to pretend. It is important to stress to the young ones not to give it away to other kids however.