My 8 yr old son lives with me 40% of the time. I wanted to buy him gifts that he would be able to leave at my house so he had stuff to play with when he came over(ex. legos,ps2 games, etc.). Well all of the stuff he wants is stuff that would be hard for him to leave just at my house( gameboy games,IPOD, guitar ect) and in the past things like these get brought to him moms house and get "left" there. So dads what do you do for x-mas when your divorced? Should I get the stuff he wants knowing they will just end up at my exwifes house?
2007-11-22 13:30:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you need to think about what he wants. He's only 8. Put yourself in his shoes... he gets a shiny, wonderful, awesome present. He loves it and then... he can't take it back to his mom's house to play with it (where he lives 60% of the time). That's not fun at all and frankly. Don't you want him to enjoy the present to the fullest extent?
I don't think it matters where he has it. Do you? He can always bring it with him if he really has fun with it. My ex-boyfriend's family had this situation with his two step siblings. They had to keep "dad's presents" at "dad's house" and "mom's presents" at "mom's house." It was so ridiculous and they hated every bit of it.
I don't want to say that it's selfish to want the toys you give him at your house, but you do have to consider his 8-year-old mentality. I understand that you want him to have things when he goes and visits you so he can feel more at home, but in reality, separating his life that much (down the toys) just makes it feel quite the opposite. Trust me... I know from my two friends when they were teens.
A good compromise (for yourself) would be to get him maybe a few presents that he can take home and such and maybe others that he has to keep at your house. Such presents like bedroom decorations are things that would probably have to stay at your place.
Good luck. Divorce is tough! I'm glad you're thinking about your son and being considerate.
2007-11-22 13:38:54 · answer #1 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basketball hoop for the driveway? It's much funner to play basketball with dad and your son knows that! Chances are the stuff he is asking you for is the same stuff he is asking his mom for so just go ahead and get him a few gameboy games and a few ps2 games. You can get him what sounds good to you, just make sure if you invest in something big (such as an IPOD) his mom isn't planning on getting him the same thing. I like the basketball hoop idea though!
2007-11-22 21:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't go all out.
being a son of a divorced couple myself, My parents found it perfectly fine if I brought stuff back and forth, just as long as I didn't lose it.
But, A gaming system might benefit the both of you, Because if you learn how to play it, Your son can play with you and boom! Father-Son bonding time right there.
ps2's are fairly cheap but I think the best would be a Wii Because you can just tell him that it has to stay at your place.
2007-11-22 21:36:51 · answer #3 · answered by Mike007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm..im not divorced but here's my suggestion..
buy him some of the presents he wants that are likely to get left at his mom's house. it doesnt really matter where he leaves them as long as he is enjoying them. also, a guitar is easy to carry around..you can buy him the proper carrying case for it and buy an amp to go with it but make it clear that the amp is to stay at your house.
for the rest of the presents...get him stuff like cd's and movies or gift certificates to download music from i-tunes. or...you can suggest skipping the presents all together and spring for a vacation for the two of you...you can go somewhere adventerous like Costa Rica and go on a canopy tour through the jungle or kayaking on the rivers. this would be both an awesome present and a chance for you two to bond. good luck!
2007-11-22 22:01:51 · answer #4 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know even after christmas you can get him things to have at your house you can have a dad &son day where you can set a dollar amount and he can pick out what he wants for your house that should drive the ex crazy to and suprise him buy him a drum set he can keep at the moms house
2007-11-23 10:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Fergie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a divorced mom and I can feel on things not coming back to you.How about putting up a basketball goal it is safe and not to terrriably expensive,something nice for his room like a shadowbox with his favorite stufff in there.
2007-11-22 21:51:36 · answer #6 · answered by what did you say 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some dads gets the same things they already have so they can leave it with the dads try that this year it may work...having 2 of somethings is best in a divorce home....my ex and i did that most of the time and it worked......good luck
2007-11-22 21:36:00 · answer #7 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never worried about it. Xmas is about your son and not you and your ex. Hard to separate the two but it is vital for his well-being.
Get him some of the stuff he wants and then throw in a couple of extras that can stay at your house.
2007-11-22 21:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by MB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes! Why does it matter so much that he may leave it at his mother's house? When he comes to spend time with you he will bring these things with him...and if he forgets....he probably won't the next time...He is a kid for gosh sakes! Don't avoid getting him things just because it may end up at his mother's house...You are getting them for him right?
2007-11-22 21:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in charge of the gift buying. And you have the final say of it staying at your house. Use your authority.
2007-11-22 21:43:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋