how come my husband doesn't want to be intimate with me?

Question

i had a child two years ago. ever since she was born my husband doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. what could be the problem?

Answer 1

it could be any number of things from hygiene to another woman. maybe you could try different approaches to arouse him. there are many good books that can help with ideas. but probably the best thing that you can do is see a marriage counselor. if he refuses its probably over anyway. brent

Answer 2

It could be so many things... and it's impossible to tell without talking to him. Just try to create time where you can have a safe, non-accusing, non-emotional discussion with him about it. But definitely talk to him about it. The problem could be psychological (having to do with your motherhood), physical (aside from other body changes, perhaps he's one of the few guys turned off by lactation), medical (perhaps he's having some sort of problem down there, or even upstairs if it's hormonal), or even stress related (work or, especially, financial stress will kill a sex drive in many men). Perhaps the stress of being a father and provider is too hard?

Anyway, you're overdue for a heart-to-heart discussion with him. Good luck!

Answer 3

This sounds really weird and stressful. I think he should go to therapy and deal with the issues behind this attitude.

I agree with other answers. A lot of things could be causing him to act this way; but you have waited long enough and you deserve an answer or an explanation from him.

I hope he has the guts to tell you what is really going on.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Let me tell you what. I had the same problem. My husband refused to have sex with me for almost one year. Guess why? He was having an affair!!!!
Be careful, there might be other reasons but it might that he is either no more into sex (check why) or, he is definitely having it somewhere else. Have a serious talk with him, check him out.You will find out.

Answer 5

some people just don't have high drives. I wonder how my husband's drive will be in twenty years. Did he have a very high drive, ie, sex daily sometimes twice a day before all of that? Usually if a man has a very high drive, it wouldn't matter if you gained a few lbs or whatever, they have GOT to stick it in, ya know? I don't know, it could be that he equates sex with babies now and it doesn't turn him on. Have you tried asking him?

Answer 6

I can think of only two right now. One did you gain weight and not loose it yet?? TWO sometimes guys after the wife gives birth, they see her as a MOTHER type and they have issues that keeps them from being intimate. LIKE you remind him of his mom now. It also could be your lifestyle. is there time for intimacy??? children can put a serious cool down on sex. Like this my wife sleeps with my son most night when she puts him to bed. I do not feel I should have to wake her up to have intimate time with her. IF she wants to be with me she should make the same effort as I do and stay awake.

Answer 7

Some men are turned off by the birthing process. Did he actually see you give birth? Sometimes once they see the birth it ruins sex for them. You might want to try talking to him about it and see what the problem is. If that doesn't work try counselling.

Answer 8

Best go to a professional counselor; some men can't handle children, not the child itself but the pregnancy and afterwards.

Answer 9

That is unusual for a guy. I suggest talking to him about it.
Sex to a guy is like candy to a child. Something just isn't right and he is the only one who can answer this for you.

Answer 10

there's lots that Could be going on
you need to talk
open the lines of communications