Why is it that you fall in love with a married man?

Question

I have known this guy for 3 years and we had a relationship then he got married to somene else and i didnt speak to him in a year and then one day he had gotten my new # and got in contact with me and calls me all the time we have had sex several times and he told me that he loved me for the first time but will not divorce his wife but we still see each other every once in a while.

Answer 1

Your situation is a little different, however most women who love or have sex with married men do so because they feel safer. There is usually less chance for STD's and the man doesn't want to become attached to you. He just wants a little on the side to break the boredom in the bedroom. If more wives would realize this there would be less problems in their marriages. It isn't that he doesn't love his wife or that he wants to leave her, he just wants something a little different once in awhile. This was very common in the past and the wives were happy about it. They didn't have to worry so much about becoming pregnant again and again and again and ...well you get the idea.

Answer 2

Well you probably loved him before he was married so not really with a married man until you both past the line.I would be cautious about him saying he loves you. It could be that he is just having marital problems and you are his way of finding relief from his unhappy life right now. You do know a guy sometimes says the "I LOVE YOU" words to get what they want from women?The best thing for you and for his wife is to break it off with him. How would you feel if your husband was banging some other woman that you did not know about.He also said he is not going to leave her so you have nothing to gain here. Dont be a home wrecker and be strong enough to make him deal with being married even if he is not happy.

Answer 3

b/c this man has no respect for his wife and you were vulnerable and obviously no respect for yourself or the guy's wife, an innocent woman.

when people marry, the fairytale bursts and realities set in. he is using you on the side for that honeymoon magic.
If he really cared for you, he woudn't do this like this. He lusts you and may "love" you in the moment but not really.

I recommend you cut this off and find your own guy. Get therapy or meds if necessary but it's so awful to do to his wife and to enable a man who is behaving wicked and has fallen selflessly to temptation
Find your own man. I know it's hard b/c you have a history with him and still have feelings but he took a vow. Our world is falling apart and people are doing little to make an effort to do the right things these days. There is a price to pay, sometimes it comes later in life.

Answer 4

You know, because he is married you are on the road to pain if you are not already experiencing this. Go with your gut feeling...hes probably not to going to divorce. The question is, are you always going to want to live like this asking yourself whats going to happen? there are so many good men out there that will give you a relationship and not left overs....

I have to apologize for some rude and insensitive people on here calling you a whore. I suggest you report them, I've already done so.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

You should go to therapy in order to find out WHY you are doing this to yourself. Ypu don't love yourself if you let this guy treat you like a thing or a toy.

I mean...Can you see this going anywhere?
I don't, because he's already married to someone else; yet you still want to believe he will choose you over his wife (and kids).

You have deep emotional problems and self -esteem issues.

Solve them pronto- or you will be in a lot of trouble later on!
GET HELP and stop seeing him.

Answer 6

So you're okay with someone who treats you as a whore? This is a source of pride for yourself and your family? And what happens if you should get pregnant by him? Will you keep the pregnancy, give it up for adoption or abort it because he won't divorce his wife for you and he certainly doesn't sound like the type of man who would take on child support of a bastard child who's mother is a whore he uses every once in awhile.

Answer 7

He obviously married his wife over you, maybe he fantasized about you but you were not what he wanted for a WIFE. He is just getting some of you for now, and you are getting nothing out of it. You think sex with him is going to be all you require? you will want love from him and it aint gonna happen. Break it off, you should feel ashamed you are trying to take something thats not yours. Karma will prevail, and you will get it back all that you are sending out.

Answer 8

Ugh.

I hate, hate, HATE women like you. STOP having sex with this man. He will NEVER divorce his wife for you! Got that? Never! Gather up some dignity and move on. He doesn't love you, he's only using you for sex. He needs counseling and frankly, so do you for sleeping with a married man.

If I were his wife, I'd kick your as* from here to China and back many times over for capitalizing on his stupidity.

Answer 9

You fall in love when you are with a married man because the only time you see him is to have fun. If you were to marry him BYE BYE relationship just like everyone else!!!

Answer 10

Well....number one you are wrong for being with this man in the first place....a previous relationship prior to his marraige does not justify your actions with him now! HE IS MARRIED! you are a floosey and a home wrecker... and also pretty dumb for having sex with him...he will continue to use you for sex and you should know that as a grown up!!! if he says he loves you he should be with you..if that means divorce than so be it! but he says he loves you but wont leave his wife! what do you think that shows for a potential future with him!