My fiance and I have been engadged since September. I am begging to wonder WHY we are we even together. I never sold my old house so I will probally move into that. How can I lightly break up our relationship. He has kids and I have kids and I just think now isn't the best time for marriage. Nothing major has been planned yet, so I can do this.How should I do this?
2007-11-22 03:41:53 · 12 answers · asked by Jasmine 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please don't yell at me for this: I've also been seing this other guy. I think that we are a better match. We're not that close yet, but he's nice and funny.
2007-11-22 03:48:46 · update #1
My kids are 4 months and 22 months. Plus my 3 year old niece I have custody over. They are not his kids. His kids are 4, 6, 9 and 11 year old twins.
2007-11-22 03:54:05 · update #2
We are currently living together.
2007-11-22 03:55:20 · update #3
Don't get married unless you are absolutely sure. Divorce is a lot more traumatic on kids than splitting up at this point. Just be open and if you want to still work on the relationship tell him you think you can do that better if you don't live together for a bit.
2007-11-22 03:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by Medicgirl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him that you need some time to get yourself together and that it is too soon for you after the end of your last relationship, and it probably is since you are wondering why you are even together. Move back into the old house and spend some time for yourself before getting into anything too serious with anyone or you are taking a chance on it being just a rebound relationship and not something that will last. I will give you a good website to look over and that may help you. Good Luck!!
2007-11-22 12:10:59 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on IF your all living together now or not. If you are then having a private talk with your fiance about how you feel is a good start. If you have been together long and the kids have bonded you have to also consider them. You both need to NOT get emotional and realize things before you both make a mistake. After you have talked with your fiance you need to also discuss about having a family meeting with the kids to let them know what is going to happen.If the kids have bonded please let them stay connected in some way as to lessen their struggle with the separation.This does not have to be and ANGRY split. you will both probably be hurt but for the kids be civil about it all.
2007-11-22 11:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a clean healthy break by being honest. No need to point out faults etc, the fact that this is not working for you speaks volumes. No dragging it out, tearful goodbyes, phone calls and emails. A clean break!! Then make sure your kids know that you are their #1 fan and answer their questions (age appropriate, of course) so that they too can have closure. Make the move back to the old house and adventure and keep smiling!!
2007-11-22 11:51:06 · answer #4 · answered by that judi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot "lightly" break the engagement but you will just have to be honest with him and say you are having doubts and are not ready to be married to him. If you are seeing someone else and feel he is the better person for you then just end the engagement now.
2007-11-22 12:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can have a talk with your fiance and tell him the truth that you would like to break the relationship because you discovered that it is not going to fulfil you and part as friends.
2007-11-22 11:48:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a great, respectful, wonderfully smart kind of gal.
Except not. Do your fiance a favor and end your "relationship" with him. What you're doing to him is cruel, and you don't deserve a nice guy, you deserve that scum of a man you're seeing behind your fiance's back.
Just remember....karma is a b!!tch.
2007-11-22 11:59:15 · answer #7 · answered by kiki 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Be gentle but firm and decisive. Tell him you've thought a lot about it and this relationship is not right for you.
Good luck.
2007-11-22 11:47:47 · answer #8 · answered by bob 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being that you are cheating on your fiance...YOU SHOULD BREAK UP WITH HIM! He deserves better...Shame on you....if you weren't 100% sure you wanted to marry him...then you shouldn't have accepted his proposal.....If you felt the need to find someone else...you should have ended things with him first....
2007-11-22 11:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you need to think things over and you think best when you're in your own home.
2007-11-22 12:50:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋