I have a friend who about two years ago thought she had found Mr. Right, unfortunately after he promised to marry her and she bought a condo that he was suppose to share, he dumped her. Now she has met someone else and has bought another home with him, soon they are to be engaged and marry in the fall. I have known her since college and think she is moving to fast. This past summer she wanted to dump him because he was too needy and she wasn't attracted to him. I know feelings can change but how do you go from that to marriage six months later? After her last relationship I think she needs to be more cautious and slow down. I guess some people get married "just to get married" or is love confused for need?
2007-11-22 03:30:15 · 16 answers · asked by iknowmarysunshine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Many thanks for the responses, I know it's her life and she gets to live it. I just wanted to see what others thought and although her choice is different then mine would be, I support her. Thanks again:)
2007-11-22 04:01:51 · update #1
I think it is a little of both. Some women want to get married for the status of being a bride and having her big wonderful day. Perhaps someone in her life has recently gotten married and she is a little jealous on the inside. The problem is that this is something she is going to have to figure out on her own....if you tell her she will only push you away.
2007-11-22 03:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by Pluckiducki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of the above. Love is confused for need at times, as well as many people get married for the sake of getting married. Others did it to make their parents happy, as it is a sin to have sex prior to marriage in a lot of religions, people feel more secure about their kids getting married. It's the decent thing for them to do, as they claim. And it could be, however; the most righteous thing would be to not live together. However; the girl does sound like she's on a roll to be taken for granted. Still the guy may be pretty nice, some people do find their perfect match, well as perfect as they can be and be human. She's moving too fast and you are right, then again, its her decision and her life. You sound like a concerned friend but she will inevitably make her own choices any how. Gl and Gb
2007-11-22 03:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by denise g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as "happily ever after", at least the way the fairy tails imply that it just happens. It takes a LOT of work, and that makes picking the right person VERY important. I believe in long engagements. If I were in the market again, I'd be a devoted and monogamous boyfriend for a solid year or more before I'd even consider proposing. Being cavalier about unresolved differences can turn into a real ball and chain later.
2007-11-22 03:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by ready4sea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound right on with your assessment...........but, you know, I know a girl who was engaged, ready to be married, knew the fellow a long time, all seemed great......and, suddenly, he just dumped her. She was totally deflated! I mean she took this very, very hard. Within months, she was engaged to be married SOON to her next door neighbor! She'd known him a long time, but, had never considered him marriage material. They got married, have been married for over 25 years, now, and seem happy as larks. Life is a strange journey. I feared for her happiness when she rushed into this marriage, and it worked!
2007-11-22 03:37:02 · answer #4 · answered by laurel g 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure sounds like she's getting married just so that she can say, "I'm Mrs. so & so"......bad idea.
An ex-friend of mine had a brother who lived with his girlfriend of 6 or 7 years, and their daughter. They got married because they found out that you can get a lot of cash that way. Needless to say, they were divorced a couple of years later. He was a major screw-up anyway, and she was a saint to have stayed with him for so long.
You should ask your friend the real reason why she wants to get married. Hope it all works out okay.
2007-11-22 03:37:02 · answer #5 · answered by Paul L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was wanting to dump him because she felt he was too needy and wasn't attracted to him, perhaps she should have dumped him then. I don't think feelings change just like that. I don't think she should be getting married unless she is really loves him. It sounds to me that she is only marrying him to be married. I don't think she really deep down loves him.
2007-11-22 03:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by Doodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows what she's thinking but she might have some unresolved childhood dysfunction that is preventing her from making a good relationship decision. If she gets married just to get married, she might also one day get divorced to right that wrong.
2007-11-22 03:38:07 · answer #7 · answered by Jen70 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must be an immature and insecure person. She is driven by the way she feels for the moment. I don't think that she will have much success in her relationships if she continues the path she is taking.
2007-11-22 04:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's best to mind your own business & let her decide what she wants to do with her personal life. If she's happy, then be a real friend by being happy for her. If she's making a mistake, she will eventually learn from it later. Your job as a friend is to just be there for her & listen to her. No nagging, no scolding & no negativity.
2007-11-22 03:43:48 · answer #9 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she enjoys the roller-coaster. Been there, done that and it's a blast.
She'll slow down when she matures a bit. Let her have her fun and live her life the way she wants.
2007-11-22 03:49:28 · answer #10 · answered by Level 7 is Best 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋