Do you have any tales of family gatherings gone wrong?

Question

As examples only:
Has someone confessed a Big Secret?
Has a physical fight ever broken out?
Did someone forget to thaw the turkey?
Well, you get the idea.

Thanks!

Thanks for playing along, Somewhere's!

Answer 1

Here's one I heard a few years ago.

The middle aged parents had just gotten separated, but both were at the Thanksgiving meal. The mom stood and said that she had a poem to read.

When the family started snickering at the idea of a poem, Mom exploded and yelled:

"You don't know the hell I've gone through. Your father has spent the past 25 years ****ing me up the ***, and I have the hemorrhoids to prove it!"

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Did I mention there was wine being served all day? lol

Answer 2

Every family gathering I have ever had has gone wrong ... Especially when my father wasn't in prison.

Every year he'd get high and out of his head and smash everything and then start beating the **** out of us ... God forbid we didn't eat quietly at Thanksgiving or this or that wasn't cooked right or it'd be thrown plate and all at our faces ... And Xmas if we didn't hurry up and the open the worthless **** we were bought we got beat because he was late for work ...

Then if it wasn't him my Grandmother would find a way to light the Xmas tree on fire (my mothers pride and joy that she spent 3 days decorating) or cause a fight just to get some attention ... My Grandfather would be trying to sneak in beers and smokes that he wasn't allowed to have ... My brother would be in the bathroom doing lines of coke ... Or someone always seemed to die around Xmas ...

By the end of all that I had invited the police over for the holidays .. I'm serious when I say I knew them on a personal basis.

God no wonder I hate holidays ...

Answer 3

Let's see, Uncle Tim gets drunk every year and tells my husband (who is a cop), "I just don't know if I can trust you" as he eyes him warily. He then proceeds to sneak up on him for the rest of the night and say,"bang!" See, I could have killed you right there! You never even saw me coming! Yeah...that's entertaining...

My Paw Paw usually ends up extra soused as well. A couple of years ago he passed out while peeing, and all the men had to go into the bathroom, zip him up & carry him through the house and put him to bed.

My aunt is a methhead and my sister is a crackhead, so they make a really cute couple. They both look like Skeletor and my aunt can't talk or chew good because she has lost most of her teeth and her jawline is deteriorating from "meth mouth." I have to constantly keep my purse and camera near me so that I know it doesn't get stolen. My sister actually stole my camera last year to hock for crack.

Then I have to worry about the barrage of curse words and racial slurs from my other uncle who doesn't seem to think that it will hurt the children to merely "hear the truth about what all the minorities are doing to the white man to ruin our lives."

Oh, then there was the Thanksgiving where my dad called me up and told me, surprise! He had just got married! He didn't even tell me he was even thinking about getting married! I HATE my stepmother too!

Well, I am going to have to stop now because this is depressing me! : )

Answer 4

Have you met my family yet ?
Someone in my family, forgot to "not invite" the ex, for example....

Answer 5

yes

Answer 6

every family gathering ends up with the DJ saying..... "ladies and gentlemen, would you please take to the floor for tonights fight"