My relationship was hard since the beginning. He only like skinny girls, and a year ago my weight was 160 pounds, Now, I'm 130 pounds. Some of his friends were telling him all the time that he deserve something better than me. We improve. He was very hurt in the past and now does not want to have kids at all. He told me, he will never have kids with me. Now one of his sons (8 years old) knows about him, and that make my boyfriend believe that he will never want to be a father again, and he already have the sons he wanted to have
We are living in Costa Rica, and my boyfriend is from Colorado, also the 2 kids are living there.
He is going to start having contact with him over the phone, and has the idea of bring him to Costa Rica and help him to raise him. I’m not sure if I want to do that., I’m 32 years old, and I’m not a mother yet., but I don’t want to take that responsibility on my shoulders either. I believe that will ad more issues to our relationship. Any ideas?
2007-11-22 00:29:23 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I really think that you need to stand up for yourself, and insist on being appreciated for your value. If he doesn't like your weight, or if you want to have children but he doesn't, one day you're going to wake up and think "My God, half of my life is OVER with and I have never been cherished the way I deserve to be, and I've given up my own dreams in favor of his dreams." You'll be angry and filled with regret.
I know it's hard when you love someone, but seriously...if you're not getting what you need from this relationship, and you're being pushed in a direction you really don't want to go in, you have to be willing to stand up and speak out. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. This is all you get, right now, today. Don't squander it over a fear of being alone. Best of luck to you. I wish someone had said this to me when I was in my early twenties, I wouldn't have the regrets that I do.
2007-11-22 01:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work in a family therapist,s office and I see cases such as yours daily, and I can tell you with certainty that this man with whom your shacking up with wont change his views on having children, so I recomend if you want children you are will have to find a different man! And keep in mind, you are getting older, and the older you become the harder it will be to become pregnant, also older women have a higher tendency of delivering babies with downs syndrome and many other health issues, so time is a issue in your case. Also I do believe bringing the children out of their enviroment will only casue disfunction and confusion in their lives, so I recomend them staying put. In life, sometimes we must do what we have to do, if you want a family, this isnt the guy for you, as he made it clear, he wants no kids with you.
2007-11-22 00:52:10 · answer #2 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship, such as it is, is already suffering; you really need to end this misery and find someone who wants the same things you do...and you certainly do not need a guy whose friends are that rude. Also, EVERYONE gets hurt in the past but most people do not make others suffer for it.
2007-11-22 00:50:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you kidding me?Get out of the situation the fastest you can. I know sometimes its hard and you probably feel its too late but let me tell you my whole life changed when I was 30, I was with a man that didn't want any kids, and now I have a beautiful family!
2007-11-22 00:48:35 · answer #4 · answered by nomorecapri 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you wasting your time with him? You should of left a long time ago. If he doesn't want anymore children and you do, how is this going to work? You deserve to be a mother if you wish, just not with him.
2007-11-22 00:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Nikki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey if you aren't married and you don't want the kid then leave.Rather you like it or not-it IS his kid.He does have to be there for him.If you can't handle that then you have no choice but to go.Otherwise you have to accept him.No one said you have to be his mother-but if you want to be a part if your boyfriend's life then you have to accept ALL parts of it.
2007-11-22 00:50:45 · answer #6 · answered by berlytea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
looks like you are not happy in this relationship.....
i think you should seek a relationship that will make you happy and boost your morale
2007-11-22 02:03:06 · answer #7 · answered by vibe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't. Your relationship sounds very unhealthy...
2007-11-22 01:36:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to dump that loser and stop wasting all your time trying to please him.
2007-11-22 01:42:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋