Why are men so jealous?

Question

This is not something that is going on in my life. But I was married to a man similar to this 13 years ago and know where she's coming from. But a friend of mine, her husband is so jealous of her and she would never cheat on her husband. He does things like check the milage on her car, and whenever she gets off from work he knows it takes her exactly 18 min to get home. She cant be over 20 min. If a car rides by their house more than once then he assumes they are riding by to see if he is home and looking for her and she will not even know who they are. She will be somewhere in public and he will acuse her of starring at another guy and she has no idea what he is talking about. Why would someone put there self through that? Sitting and wondering all day what there wife or husband is doing all the time. To me that is not a healthy relationship and it does not seem like love. More like possession. Your opinions please

Sincity.. I did not mean to judge because I do understand that all men are not like that.. I do appoligize

Answer 1

The reasons for it still arnt quite clear to me. I live with it everyday and Im at the point in my life that i know its only a matter of days before i leave. He wasnt that way when we first got together but over the years it has gotten really bad. Im pretty sure it has to do with lack of self confidence and respect for himself. As time has gone by i have changed and he hasnt. I have asked him a million times to do things with me and he would rather sit at home and do nothing so i started doing things with out him....keep in mind i have never given him a reason to think that i have done something wrong and everything i do he gets a play by play and he still gets jealous. His choice and its something he has to deal with....and he cant....hence the reason im leaving...he wont change.

Answer 2

Your confusing jealousy with obsession and power .

A jealous man is insecure and scared the most beautiful thing in his life will walk out so he retaliates by picking fight's with guy's who she look's @ twice or who look @ her twice , it is not what your describing.

What your describing is noted in a court of law as an abusive , obsessive , insecure , violent abuser. The violence may not have started yet but given time it will escallate to it.

You say you were in a similiar relationship , I dont think you have any real idea of the terror she lives in constantly , she is holding back from you , sugar coating the issue so you wont despise him , it's what wive's of abuser's do , the make excuses , lie , and put on their happy face and declare their undying love , then 1 day your talking to them over coffee and laughing over something stupid in a woman's mag a week later your standing over her grave crying feeling like you were stupid for not seeing it .

You cant help her , she is the only 1 who can help herself , you can how ever open your eyes and remove the rose tinted glasses she gave you when she started opening up to you.

Answer 3

'Men' are not jealous. A 'man' may be but... if you stereotype the entire gender, you'll never find an answer. people are not all the same just because their plumbing is the same.

Perhaps you had a run of bad luck. It can happen going the other way too. I know people who think women are incapable of love or bound to cheat whenever the right guy comes along.

It's a mistake to judge so many on the examples of so few.
---------------------------------------------
LOL, no need to apologize. I didn't mean to sound critical.

I just think that in times of stress, we tend to fall back on our emotions... you know, like "Men are such pigs!" or this one: "Does a girl always have to change her mind?"

Mars and Venus... but if we were all the same, life would be so boring!

Have a great Thanksgiving (If you are in the US... if not, hope you have a great day!)

Answer 4

Sounds to me like he maybe cheating himself or this guy has some serious self esteem issues. I thank that any guy that all ways questions the whereabouts of his spouse has cheated or on the verge of cheating. IT that guilty conscious thing just know that he has can or has cheated make him think if I did it why could she especially if he cheated with another married person. Next it could be he had someone cheat on him before and he just can't get over it. Lastly it could be that he realize what a good women he has and he is afraid that she my find someone better than him.

Answer 5

Does the lady get more money than the man? I have seen this where a man gets peanuts and feels inferior. To avoid inferiority complex, he will be possessive or even a wife batterer! He is out to show that he is the man. A real man does not feel insecure cos he believes the wife is his friend and partner for life. Hope this helps

Answer 6

In my opinion trust should be one of the most important things between a couple. There are a lot of men out there like this and i believe it stems from a lack of self confidence. He really needs to recognise he has a problem and do something about it as this can be a cause of relationship breakdown.

Answer 7

hmmmm....could it be that he knows what to look out for because he has been there himself?

Have cars been driving past more than once to see if SHE is at home and looking for him instead...sounds like he is more guilty than she is

I have to say that I could never survive in a relationship like that no matter how much I love the guy, he is slowly killing her self-esteem, her self-respect and her sponteneity...She has some serious decision-making ahead.

I wish her all the best with this situation.

S.

Answer 8

i assume the two. it is merely that maximum adult males do no longer teach their jealousy because of the fact of their delight, at the same time as females are greater expressive and open with their emotions, that's why some human beings anticipate that females get greater jealous than adult males. yet you in no way extremely understand what's interior somebody's heart and strategies nevertheless. ^_^

Answer 9

did you ever think that some were a long the line she made him like he is..you say she would not cheat on her husband. but are you with her 24/7 ....some were along the line some thing happen. and do not get me going on woman and how jealous they get

Answer 10

Extremely unhealthy relationship. He is nothing more than a controlling husband...and he will only get worse. Your friend either needs to get both of them into marriage counceling, or leave him.... I see no other way to achieve happiness in that marriage. And you're right... Controlling does NOT = LOVE.