Hi,
I am in really sad situation. I met this man 1 year ago, he was married but his marriage was going nowhere. He was trying to make this woman happy for 20 years but they both felt miserable together. He left his wife and after a while we start living together (10 moths till now). We really love each other we have a great time, we fit together, it were 9 moths of full happiness. Recently he start hesitating if he did the right thing, he is missing his home, his child, the family life. So he says he loves me very much but at the same time he might want to go back and try with his wife again (the divorce hasn't finished yet) although he says he doesn't love her. I don't know what to do, what to say. It's a nightmare... We are crying all the time, he is really confused, me too. He says his wife has changed and may be they will work it out, at the same time he has a great relationship with me.
Anyway, one advice form me - do not fall in love with married person...
2007-11-21 20:05:27 · 14 answers · asked by rallka 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, just to clarify. He left his wife, he told her that he is in love with me, that he is not coming back. I didn't have an affair with him while he was with her. He start divorcing , dividing the stuff, hiring lawyers etc. But yes, legally he is still married.
2007-11-21 22:10:31 · update #1
No one has told you the truth yet, women never want to
lay it on the table, but a guy will! This is how it is: He
was married for 20yrs, started thinking about single life,
and wanted to venture out for a new piece of ****, that
be you, now he's ready to return to the family life, tired of
being the boy on the out. I'm sure he's been cheating on
you too, but you're too blind, just like you are blind to a lot
of other things that everybody else here has pointed out
to you. Regardless you still think that you have a chance.
Now is the time to start using the old brain God gave you.
Get out! It's a win, win situation for him , wife and kids, and
asss on the side. Perfect set up of him, only people in
turmoil are you , the wife and kids!
2007-11-24 15:39:50 · answer #1 · answered by WorldClassPlayer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to yourself to open your eyes and wide. You have been duped. This man has no intention of leaving his wife. Always get into your head that there is his side, her side and the truth. This man has major baggage and subjecting you to it. If he couldnt make it with his wife, what on earth makes you think you will be so lucky? If he could cheat on her with you what makes you think he wont get bored with you too if he isnt already. Relationships based on sex only go sour. This man has had 20 years of quality life with his wife do you really think he is going to quit now. If he hasnt made a move in a year you have a serious problem. He is living a lie and you are part of the lie and I guarentee you he is lying to you too. Take your own advise and never ever again waste your life on the promises of a bored old man besides age catches up on them and when you are in the prime of your life he will be too old to have fun with, so already, you yourself are heading for divorce, even before you have married the fool. Run my girl and run far away from this mess. Look for a man your own age and leave married men alone - its just looking for trouble and guess what its staring you right in the face.
2007-11-22 04:21:43 · answer #2 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry sweetie, but I think his children deserve he and his wife attempting to make a go of their marriage. If he hadn't been involved with you, then he wouldn't have 'fallen in love' with you. He is confused as he does love his family; which includes his wife, but he also has feelings for you. Be the strong one, and if you really love him, set him free to find out if it will work with his family again. He has to do this for himself and for you; you don't want to start a life with someone who may resent you in the future. If he and you are meant to be, it will happen but not until he finds out what he really wants.
2007-11-22 13:01:57 · answer #3 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he wants the best of both worlds.
Never, EVER get involved with a married person. You will only end up hurt, and/or hurting someone else...like the unknowing spouse. And it's just wrong. Been through it, and stupidly, I didn't even know my ex had been running around on me.
2007-11-22 05:00:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I fully agree with your advise.
Look, he was NEVER yours right from the start. When he separated, he found you and he lived with you because he wanted companionship. As a woman, you got emotional and started loving him. BUT HE IS MARRIED STILL.
You are the looser in this relationship. He will get back with his family, that's for sure.
I suggest, you get strength (easy for me to say), but facts are facts. You will be undergoing tremendous mental stress, but you have to be strong. Time heals.. so let him go and you go on with your life.
2007-11-22 04:16:32 · answer #5 · answered by AdultMale 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i met a man 41/2 years ago who had a girl also and he kept telling me that he didn't love her and that it was going to be me and him. like a dumb *** i believed him and guess what we now share two boys and are not together he's still with her and i'm lonely having yet to move on. i can't find the right somebody for me yet. by the way he's 45 and I'm 20. don't belive him move on.
2007-11-22 04:14:29 · answer #6 · answered by single mother 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
take your own advice and leave the guy....both of you have caused a lot of heartaches between the two of you and the wife and the kid...if he wants to try and make his marriage work, then let him...after all he is still legally bound to his wife and you are seen as the homewrecker....find a guy who will be yours and yours alone....its not too late...
2007-11-22 04:14:46 · answer #7 · answered by geisha 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you sound like you could be my husbands girlfriend. and this situation sounds like mine. all i can say is that anyone that gets involved with a married person has no feelings or regards for other peoples feelings. you deserve to feel sad and depressed
2007-11-22 07:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by kimberly k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a saying and i goes like this, if you love something set it free if it comes back its your bad for not moving.
2007-11-22 05:58:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away..................he is cheating on his wife and will do the same with you in future if any one young and pretter girl comes.
If he can come to you, he can go to someone............What do you do than.Help him to fix his problem and save his wife future , yours and his.
2007-11-22 04:32:31 · answer #10 · answered by JH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋