How do you politely say that you're going to go poop in the bathroom?

Answer 1

you can tell your host that you would like to wash your hands....now if you are really unlucky he/she might assist you to a washbasin only, then you gotta figure out yourself what you need to say next...lol

Answer 2

Depends on who you are saying it to. Most grown-ups really don't care or want to know what you are planning to do in the bathroom. To them just say: "Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom."
If you are dealing with the less mature...get as creative as you like. They'll appreciate bathroom humor.

Answer 3

All you really have to say is "may I be excused?", people generally have some idea why and where you're going.
If that doesn't cut it, try "I'm taking the browns to the super bowl" or "dropping the kids off at the pool".

Answer 4

I'm going to the bathroom, you may want to turn up the volume on the TV (or radio)

Answer 5

Just say, "I'm going to take the Browns to the Super Bowl!" They'll know what ya mean!

or

"I have a brown snake playing peek-a-boo with my butthole!"

or

"I need to go pinch off a loaf."

Answer 6

I just dont go into details eg ,"Excuse me I need to use the restroom for a minute or 20... do you have anything to read, preferably playboy?"

Answer 7

either say nothing, or make a joke of it such as:

Be right back, i gotta drop the cosbies off at the pool

or my favorite

be right back, i gotta drop some logs off at the flooded lumber mill.

Answer 8

Just stand up and proudly announce that your going to go take a big steamy dump.

Answer 9

Gotta use the John, wouldn't go in there for a minute or two!

Answer 10

I'm takin' the Browns to the Superbowl.