Why do people cheat on each other?

Question

How can a person say they love their spouse and then have sex with someone else...knowing it would break their spouse's trust and heart if he/she ever found out? Is it really that difficult to honor marriage vows and be faithful? I don't think it is so hard.

I don't think I'll ever understand how one person can do that to another person.

No, I didn't cheat on my husband. I can't say the same for him, though. I just can't prove that he did cheat.

KateJ...I don't think my age makes a difference. I'm not that young and this is my first marriage. But, I think why people cheat is difficult to understand, no matter how old you are or how many times you've been married.

Answer 1

We've entered into an age where responsibility can easily be shifted away from the person.

For example, I cheated on my wife because I have an alcohol problem. I cheated on my husband because I was sexually abused as a child. I cheated on my spouse because I'm a cocaine addict.

They say it as if they are not responsible because of another pre-existing factor.

Personally, I think that's all horse pucky. The person made a bad choice and they need to step up to the plate and take responsibility for it.

Answer 2

I can tell you why I cheated. Was married to a man and within the first year of our marriage I was pregnant. I loved my husband very much and had no intention of cheating but after out child came along we were so busy with other things that we lost each other along the way. I was not getting the attention that I was wanting at home. So I found it elsewhere. I am a firm believer that if you don't take care of your spouses needs someone else will. I wasn't doing it to hurt my husband and I loved my husband as a person he just wasn't giving me what I needed. I needed a companion. I wanted someone to talk to without judging me. Me and my husband had become two separate people going in two different directions. Even though I started cheating somewhere around year five we were married over 11 years. I was never caught. I hope this answers your questions. Not proud of what I did but just giving you the scenerio of why someone might cheat.

Answer 3

I don't know if I want to play devil's advocate here or not.. but I think that in a lot of ways it's human nature to seek and conquer any body that we haven't yet. It's a perpetuation of the species.

Aside from the biological aspect of it, I believe that people cheat because they are either really down on themselves or they are unhappy with their current situation. I DO believe that sometimes, alcohol or drug abuse can cause people to make unsound decisions (look at drunk drivers or heavily drug addicted people), it's how the person deals with their mistake that shows their true form.

If someone cheats on you, and shows no remorse (i.e.; "Whatever, get over it" or "Who cares? It happened, move on"), then it's likely they just don't care anymore.. However, if a person acts and feels a strong sense of guilt for their actions (i.e.; "I'm so sorry, it was a huge mistake and I can't live without you", or "I really wish I didn't do what I did, I hate to have caused you such pain"), then maybe it really WAS a mistake. You'll never know exactly what the root of the problem is (and yes, if a person cheats, there is a BIGGER problem at hand) unless you communicate with each other and figure it all out. Once that happens, you can decide whether to forgive and forget, or forgive and move on, or just not forgive at all.

Each person, situation and problem is different for everyone. Cheating is no different, it has to be handled so that a relationship doesn't end with openings. If that happens, no one ever truly feels at peace with the things that went down. Is it a means to an end? Not exactly. That, my friend, is completely up to you.

Good luck.

Answer 4

My hubby cheated on me many times throughout the years we're together. Everytime he'd push the blame to me, said i wasn't loving enough, or i did not care for him enough. But all my friends knew that i've aredi done all my best to be a good wife and mother of our 2 gals. He can say he loves me, but on the other hand, tell the other woman he loves her. He can make up all sort of reasons, say he gotta work late, gotta attend meetings but in the end when i call his office, his colleagues would say he had already left long ago. Such a man doesn't know what's love, and he simply doesnt respect women at all. I also dont understand how he can actually do all these betrayals so easily, without even thinking about my feelings. I think in this society now, marriage has no values or meanings already. Til death do us apart? Should be til another woman do us apart..

Answer 5

it has nothing to do with trust and vows. it has to do with getting bored. What is old make it new. in the sense that if the sex all the time or your everday routine is getting boring to them but fine to you change it up. if youre having sex so much that everypart of the act you can predict then take a break and do something else with each other. you dot have to have sex to have a good time<------not the song). when you come back to it everything will be like brand new again. Spontinaiety makes a big darn difference communication, and keep yourself up dont let yourself go. take showers comb your hair be that person he met that made him fall in love with you in the first place and thats not just how you present ourself physically but also your personality. My husband and I never have problems with each because we follow this. Be that sexy woman you think he may would probably cheat on you with. Plus you feel more confident and sexy about yourself

Answer 6

The person that would cheat on another person first of all does not have respect for God or themselves therefore they have no problem disrespecting another person. Cheating is a very selfish act therefore the person that is married and commits adultery had no business getting married in the first place because in order to be successful in a marriage you have to give up self and become one. A lot of people have a problem with being selfish and this is something that should be let go before getting married and that is why there are so many divorces. It is an all about me attitude.

Answer 7

To start with....about the getting fat comment - that is just stupid.....I think those marriage vows were for better or worse, in sickness and in health, rich or poor.....so HELLO?

Anyway....I cannot answer your question completely but I feel that it should not be that hard, when you make those vows, you are making them under those conditions mentioned above in front of GOD....so, you need to think about that and be faithful. If you feel that your husband has cheated, talk to him. Do not let this go on......FIND out......and start dealing with it because if you let it build up inside you, you will let your jealousy take over your life. Then you will resent him....and your marriage will be over....SO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

people cheat when the relationship is not quite in order. before actually acting on an urge to cheat, one always think twice, perhaps 100 times, if it's worth the risk.

the real problem is, there's always a cause in the relationship that makes him / her keep coming back to the idea of cheating. the toughest part is to admit it and adjust the current situation so that you can remove the cause.

even if you are 100% happy with the relationship, you have to ask yourself if you are making your partner 100% happy as well. in other words, you being happy with the relationship doesn't make him just as happy. there needs to be a reason for him to be content. it's hard for you to see any problem when you are happy with the status quo.

Answer 9

Its all about disfunction and selfesteem issues, people who lack esteem have a way higher chance of cheating, people who are happy in their lives and who like them selves tend to not seek out attention and sex from others. It may have alot to do with a persons childhood to, because adults who come from a intact family, where mom and dad were loving and didnt divorce seem to stay in long term relationships more so then a person who was brought up in a disfunctional home. Theirs many reasons why people cheat, but I truly believe that people who are happy in life and like themselves are ten times less likely to commit the ultimate sin, cheating!

Answer 10

Its lack of self-discipline and control!

There's no valid excuse or reason for cheating. MEN & WOMEN have to just control and fight temptations.

Cheating is so heartbreaking, i would suggest to the world that if you don't want your spouse anymore, rather leave them and find somebody else than cheat.

There are std's, let alone HIV/AIDS. The worst thing that could ever happen is infecting your spouse with the HIV you got from a one night stand.