I am a full time college student and provide for my family with loans. My husband doesnt work and stays home with baby. I am on my last year of Bachelors and he has stayed home since baby has been born. He says he will get custody because he has spent more time with her and my family background isn't too great.
2007-11-21 16:29:27 · 12 answers · asked by Larisa M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
About the loans part. This loan was taken out on my last two years. Previous to this I was working. I am on last semester and when I graduate in May I will look for a job.
2007-11-21 17:29:17 · update #1
Not true, you are the Mother unless he can prove you are insane or similar the Mom will always get custody,if he is trying that on you he is nothing but a loser bigtime ,Good luck ,♥
2007-11-21 16:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that depends upon a lot of things but if the divorce hasn't been filed yet you have time to prepare. for example, start looking now at possible jobs in your field and explore possibilities. The fact that you have been living on loans will not really matter since he has been getting the benefit of those loans as well - food, electricity, housing and so on. you may even go to legal aid now and talk with an attorney there about an impending divorce to get advice perhaps as to how to prepare.
If you do know where you will be working upon graduation, see if you can have it planned out who will take care of the baby while you work as well. it sounds like he has been taking care of the baby while you were in school and had it all figured out that he would never work again but live at home off of your earnings so is using the threat of taking the child as a way of preventing you from divorcing him, If this is in fact the case, don't rush the divorce but plan carefully so that when you finish school and get the job, you will have that, daycare lined up, and he will be out looking for a job to support himself. He could have gotten some type of day care perhaps and worked himself and you wouldn't own so much on the student loans. Good luck to you and I hope the last year goes by swiftly!!
2007-11-22 00:50:35 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on where you live, but in the US the prevailing thought is "the best interests of the child"....meaning whoever can take better care of the baby. Who will be able to best financially support her? Who will be able to give her the safest, most stable environment? Who will spend the most quality time with her?
Your husband does have a point though-since he has been the primary care giver, they will certainly take that into consideration when making the decision. That doesn't automatically mean he'll get full custody, just that a judge will take it to mind with all the other factors when they are deciding.
Having parents that are divorced, however, I can tell you that joint custody is really the best thing to do. It keeps your baby feeling secure and loved by both parents and allows her to spend equal time with both parents. You two might not love eachother any more, but she loves you both and should get to spend her life being raised by both of you.
2007-11-22 00:46:31 · answer #3 · answered by lovelymrsm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you get yourself a job.. sure, he doesn't have one to provide for the child, but you're providing for the child with loans. That would even the two of you out, and then he'd have the upper hand because he spent the most time raising and being home with her. Get a job and get yourself the advantage.. UNLESS..
think from the bottom of your heart, not about what YOU want, but what is best for your baby girl. If you think that he'd be a more fit parent, since he's with her and you're busy with school, just let it go.. I know it hurts but do what's best for the child. If you honestly think you can handle it, as I said, get a job.
In either case though, he needs to get a job too, to provide for just himself even if he doesn't get custody!
2007-11-22 00:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by yeah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He better rethink that one, just because he has spent more time with the child does not mean he will get custody, you are the bread winner of the family, and he dosent even work, how does he expect to take care of the child, and what does he think he is going to do if and when he has to go back to work,? Tell him to grow up and be a real man.
2007-11-22 00:37:23 · answer #5 · answered by tiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure where you live, but here in British Columbia, Canada, that is exactly the case. The parent who has been the main caregiver is more likely to get sole custody. However, judges prefer to give 50-50 custody if both parents seem to really want it.
2007-11-22 00:35:09 · answer #6 · answered by Jenm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They will look at who can provide the child with a stable life. he has no job so I doubt they would give him custody. However, you are living life on LOANS with no income coming in so your no better than he is until you get a job.Better watch out you might find that IF they feel the child is better not with either of you they will take the child to foster care homes.
2007-11-22 00:34:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Generally, it is whomever can best provide for the child and not just financially. In that your husband has been playing the primary caretaker role, it is probable that he will receive primary custody, assuming he can prove financial capability as well.
You might succeed in getting joint custody but not until the child is past pre-school age, normally.
2007-11-22 00:35:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to make em' out to bad ,bad ,bad or you can forget about sole custody.You can be joint custody, and no child support...
I would rather see you 2 work it out and give yourselves to CHrist and raise that chid in a home ,God meant it to be in...You loved at one time ,whats so hard abouyt loving now that you have a child (PRECIOUS CHILD <>>>>INNOCENT CHILD)that depends on MY ...MOMMY & DADDY!!! Get it right folks, if you dont ,God will have to judge you for that gift He gave YOU
2007-11-22 00:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The judge is supposed to make the decision based on what is in "the best interests of the child" but it doesn't always work that way.
2007-11-22 00:32:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋