Q for married people?

Question

How long have you been married and do you and your spouse have alot in common?
My bf and I love each other and have talked about marriage before, but now when I bring it up he says he doesnt know if he wants to ever get married. He says its b/c we wouldnt be happy b/c we dont have alot in common and would end up miserable

Answer 1

We have been together for 4 yrs and we have almost nothing in common.

Answer 2

I've been married for 22 yrs. now. We still don't have a lot in common.... He does his thing & I do mine. Although we do find things to do together also....even if its just watching t.v. We also have two beautiful teenagers and we do things as a family also. You say u love eachother & if that is so then that is all u really need. Maybe u should question him about that. Also he may just be one of those people that thinks marriage changes people & he is happy & content with the way things are. Having things in common or not does not make for a miserable marriage. Being there & caring for that person no matter what life brings is what really counts. Good luck!!

Answer 3

We've been together a little over 5 years, and we have almost nothing in common on the surface. All of our interests, preferances, hobbies, likes/dislikes, etc. are all pretty much polar oppisites.

However, we have practically identical philosophical views-on religion, politics, how to raise or children, and our general life view our beliefs could have come from the same head.

Having the same life views and beliefs, I think, is essential to a successful marriage...but not having the same hobbies or liking the same foods is not a big deal-that just makes it interesting!

That being said, don't rush into marriage. If you are going to be together for the rest of your lives, why not wait another year or two (or more) until you are BOTH absolutely certain you are ready? In the scheme of your life a few years is nothing.

My husband and I waited 4 1/2 years to get "officially" married, and my parents waited almost 10-and our respective marriages are the best marriages I have ever seen.

Answer 4

to answer your q:
my husband and I will have been married 4 yrs in Jan 08. We were together 8 months before we got married. We will have been together for 5 yrs in May 08.
We are TOTAL opposites. I mean we have a lot of stuff in common, but in the end, to just look at us, we are so different. For example, I am confident, he isnt. I LOVE sex, him- not so much. I am a clean person, he can stand dirty.
I would suggest that you sit with your bf and be serious and lay out on the table what each of you want out of life. Do you each see yourselfs together forever?? can you and can he imagine waking up next to you until the day you two die??

some people are not cut out for marriage. Some are perfectly content just being bf.gf. my aunt and uncle are. they have been together since high school (40 yrs ago) and they are happy.
just sit and talk to him about everything listen to his side

Answer 5

Sounds to me like a convenient excuse. My wife and I have only been married just over a year, and we have some things in common but not everything. We probably have less in common than you and your boyfriend as I am several years older than my wife; still, this has very little to do with marital happiness. If you want a relationship to work it's going to take work and some compromise. You'll both have to learn to do things the other enjoys, let it grow on you as this will help you succeed in growing closer together. As far as your boyfriend is concerned, apparently he has some commitment issues, so if your interested in a serious relationship you should ask him to be considerate of where you are in life or break it off with you. When he does you can find someone who is in the same place that you are relationship wise.

Answer 6

My husband and I have been together for 6 yrs, married for 3. We have 3 boys together ages 5, 3 and 7 mos, and we do have a lot in common, but there are also some things that we don't have in common. I couldn't be happier. If your BF feels like this now, then it is time to ditch him and go find yourself another man.

Answer 7

well if i had a boyf that ever said that to me, i wouldnt still be in that relationship!!!
you should have asked him why he is with you if it would be too miserable for him in the long term.

i have been married for almost 2 yrs, known each other for almost 3.
we have some things in common but we also have things that are not in common, i dont think common likes etc really affect a relationship, it has to do more with common morals and values and goals.
it os god to have somethings in common as a way of connecting but if you dont, then find something you both enjoy.

my hubby and i think alike but we dont enjoy the same hobbies.
we arent miserable though!! i think that was a cop out on his behalf.

Answer 8

My wife and I have been married for over 27 years and happy for at least 2 of it..... just kidding. We stay with each other because of all the things we have in common and the common goals. The best part is, the kids are grown and gone. We have a lot of fun and also have our time away.

Answer 9

I have been married for 14 1/2 years and we do not have much in common. We are not miserable and get along pretty well.

Answer 10

Been married 10 years. A few things in common, but mostly not. You have to work at it, it wont be as easy as the first month. Sounds like his miserable friends are scaring him.

Answer 11

been married 6+ years. My husband and I share some of the same interest but we don't at the same time. We respect each others interest and he does things I like to do and I do things he likes to do. Marriage as in any relationship is give and take. Even though you get married it's important not to lose your individuality. Don't push the issue if it's meant to be it will. My husband said he was never getting married and his family was surprised when he told them he was. When the time is right it will happen. Good Luck.