I have been married for over 5 years and my husband and I have had many problems in the relationship but I always toughed it out. I recently started feeling like I dont love him any longer. I met this wonderful man online from another country. He is the most romantic real person I have ever met. I have only known him for 2 weeks but we talk for hours on chat , text messaging and on the phone. we are both in love already. It happened so fast I do not know what to do. My husband thinks nothing is wrong in the marriage. I feel like I am a bad person... What do you think I should do..... My husband has no idea this is going on. I want to be with this man.. Please give me your advice.....
2007-11-21 14:55:25 · 19 answers · asked by lost girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I forgot to mention my husband has been very critical of me throughout our whole marriage. He is a very mean man that never acknowledges me and he has also told me that I am not on the same intellectual level as he is.... The man I am in love with is always telling me how intelligent I am and giving me compliments. He has never said anything sexual to me... This is what I love.. My husband hounds me for sex and then I give in and after I am kicked to the curb... I do not want this... I want to be loved....
2007-11-21 15:08:39 · update #1
Cindy T hit it right on the nose.... I have felt dead for years.. now I have met my love and I am full of life.. I get up early and live life now instead of sleeping it away. I am alive!
2007-11-21 15:24:55 · update #2
i wouldnt exactly throw away my whole life to be with someone who i knew for 2 weeks give it some time then see what you want
2007-11-21 15:02:13 · answer #1 · answered by DD 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whoaaa. Pull the reins in. First you must be lonely or unsatisfied in your marriage to be talking to anyone. It is easier to do this without having to look someone in the eyes. Easier to have the courage. Maybe you should try and fix what you have with the man you made a commitment to, or at least be out of it before you start something. The whole internet thing is pretty chancy. But another country????? Talk about long distance relationships! I had mucho trouble with one that was 70 miles apart. I think this guy is probably giving you what you need right now. Flattery, attention and some kind of validation. Why don't you ask your husband to do this for you? Good Luck and Be Careful!!
2007-11-21 15:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by William B music lover 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I met the woman of my dreams online actually. We met and got to know each other. Dated for about a year while we lived 1200 miles apart. We only saw each other 3 times in that year but we had such a passion for each other that we made it work. It was not easy though. It takes a lot of patience, trust, honesty and most importantly communication. We have now lived together for almost a year now and plan on getting married a year from now. Our passion for each other is even stronger than it was when we first started dating. Most online relationships fail, but there are some that can work. It just takes two determined, dedicated people to make it happen.
2016-05-24 23:37:26 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Online love can be sooooooooooo potent.
Why ? Is a good question .. but I think when 2 people are one on one .. online .. they pour out their heart in a big way .. and then some.
Let me first tell you of a couple of women that had the same experience online with men. I know you have heard stories before .. and you probably will think this could not apply to you .. but they didn't think it would happen to them either. Both ladies found someone absolutely wonderful online. They emailed .. they became best friends .. daily .. nightly .. just all the time .. and it lasted for years & years. The men poured out their hearts of devotion to the women. The men and women were so close to each other - that they felt like sole mates .. just a part of each other. Both men .. just disappeared .. like poof .. into thin air .. after years .. and for no reason .. they just stopped emailing. The women could not believe it .. they were so close to the men .. and they had binds by the heart .. or so they thought. The men just left without one single word. One woman had this happen to her twice with men online.
One of the women was a good woman .. who was married for many years. She had put everything into her marriage and family. She got nothing in return. Her husband never listened to her .. he never sat down and had a conversation with her .. he just acted mad all the time .. and every word was negative. This woman began to feel totally unloved .. unwanted .. and completely unfulfilled. The feeling grew .. and grew .. and grew .. until she described the feeling as big and empty as the Grand Canyon. She had gotten into the online thing quite by accident .. it was an erronous email sent to her - that was meant for someone else .. and she and the man started their relationship for many years. She fell hopelessly for this man .. when she had never ran around .. but it filled the void that was in her .. she just needed it. She laughed with this guy till her sides hurt .. she once said that if he & she were picking a flower together - that would be just as fun as if they were any where else in the world together. The guy begged her not to ever leave .. and he did it often .. he expressed his love for her .. and told her he had searched for her forever. Then one day, he was simply not there any more. No good-bye. No reason why. Nothing. He was just gone. She said all he would have had to do was say goodbye .. and she would have let him go without a single problem. She was so stunned .. and hurt .. and disallusioned. This was Mr. Wonderful ... and he did the worse .. he dumped her without a single word .. and never came back.
So beware.
Also - did you see Dr. Phil last week? It is about a girl who went to another country with her guy? .. and the guy was really cruel to her .. and holding her captive? Ever seen the movie .. "Without My Daughter" ? It is also about an American woman who went home to a foreign country with her husband .. and he held her & her daughter there .. without her consent.
I know you are now being fulfilled. You probably feel electic .. like you are so alive again. But you need to give it time. The feeling is absolutely wonderful .. but all things fizzel out .. mainly when the new has worn off.
When you meet someone online .. it can make you think that you no longer love your husband .. you look at him through different eyes. So many things here are deceiving .. and they mimick so many other emotions.
Two weeks is wayyyyyyyyyyyy too early for anything with your online relationship. Even if you do leave your husband ... go really, really slow with this online relationship. You can't take it slow enough.
Whatever you do .. don't go to this guy in his country now. Give it lots & lots of time. You don't have any real idea of what you are getting into.
Below, I have included several links to go to .. to read online dating stories.
Do research. Read lots & lots of other people's experience.
Do a background research .. which may not turn up anything .. but it won't hurt to do it.
Just take it soooooo very slow. Don't rush in.
2007-11-21 16:13:08 · answer #4 · answered by Tara 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You dont want to risk your marriage on some guy you met on the internet. Let alone some guy you've only known for 2 weeks. Get some marriage counselling if you need to so that you can try and save your marriage. Your husband isn't giving you enough love at home so you're trying to find it elsewhere. But whatever you do, dont fool yourself into thinking this guy you've met online is anyone special. Odds are, he's not.
2007-11-21 15:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by daremedy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I tried the on line dating thing for a minute, it's easy to get sucked in. Any body can be anything on line but you will not really know that person until you meet in person. People can not hide like that. Do I recommend that you should run off to meet this guy in another country? No, because you may be in for a rude awakening. Get out of your current relationship if needed but don't place yourself into a worse possibly dangerous situation.
2007-11-21 15:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by Time To Go 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me guess he is from India or close by,I'm a on-line chatter myself and odds are i have talked to your man. It's funny they all think if you talk nice to them, then you belong to them. You are falling for someone you know nothing about and in only two weeks. You are so hungry for attention and affection you probably told him that the first time you two talk and that's all he had to hear. I guess you think this man wants nothing from you but your love,he hasn't dropped it on you yet but he will. Please for your own safety don't let this man get to close to you,do not tell him your address or give him any personal information about you or your husband. I know you really believe that this guy loves you.you need to believe it because what your husband is doing to you. Has he ask to come see you or you come see him,if not he will. He might tell you that he wants to see you so bad but only has half the money,he won't ask you for it but he will keep bring it up until you offer to make up the difference. Just be cautious.
2007-11-21 15:37:40 · answer #7 · answered by Teenie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be careful and do what you feel is best. It is very easy to fall for someone else when you are in having marriage troubles.Please examine your situation thoroughly.If you don't want to be with your husband consider separation or divorce.I do understand your situation because i was married to someone like your husband for almost 10 years and you get to the point where you feel like your dying inside. I sincerely wish you the best luck!
2007-11-21 15:22:33 · answer #8 · answered by Cinderella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"A man from another country"....hmmmm I would be very suspicious about that bullsh*t.....Online is a very powerful, manipulating tool....People can be whoever they want to be, when they don't have to be face to face....Just because the words you are receiving are comforting and what you want....I would be cautious that you are in a vulnerable state right now....I would also assume that you have mentioned your issues with the husband to this "online man".... Which leads me to believe...he could be thinking, "I'm the guy who could take her away" .... be the knight in shinning armor so to speak...The tough thing is ... if you ever decide to try and meet with this guy....Kiss the marriage goodbye....and welcome to the "GREAT UNKNOWN"....My advice...if your unhappy, tell the husband...if he still doesn't get it....separate and look for a "friend" closer to home....Don't try to swap a relationship for a relationship, without knowing what you really want....
2007-11-21 15:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Not U again! Didn't you like the answers you were given???
If you don't love the husband, stop short-changing your marriage by cheating on him and yourself. Divorce if you need to, but be sure that's what you want first. If you don't know, seek counseling.
A lot of guys seem attractive at first, like I said before---he still farts, leaves his clothes in the floor, forgets things that are not important to him, leaves the seat up, etc. yada yada yada.
Time for a REALITY CHECK...
2007-11-21 15:02:32 · answer #10 · answered by rabbit4041 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to face the fact that you are cheating.
Then you need to wake yourself up to reality.
Keep true to your marriage vows. Nobody forced you to agree to "for better or for worse." But you did anyway. Now you will be better off keeping true to your commitment.
Ultimately, you will not be judged on the commitments you make, but rather the commitments you keep.
Say bye, bye to Mr. International. He is probably a scam artist anyway.
Good luck.
2007-11-21 15:01:14 · answer #11 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋