Me and my friend are in highschool and we've known each other for a long time. Throughout the years I haven't been the most 'fashion conscious' person around, while she is... or, she thinks she is. I'm not sure. But either way, over the years she has told me the fleece sweater I had made her embarassed to be around me, to "get new shoes already" when she didn't like my sneakers (I didn't like them either, I COULDN'T buy new ones at the time but still...) and just today I was wearing this coat out. It was a really cold winter day and I'm saving up for a much nicer coat that I really want from Forever 21 but I can't yet afford it. Anyway, the coat isn't even that bad.... it's a soft-navy jeanlike matieral and is just like any other winter coat. However she comes up to me and says "Hey, so I see you're wearing your really fashionable coat today..." In front of our whole group of friends! There was me, her, and about 10 other people. I was so embarassed. Should I say something to her?
2007-11-21 14:35:59 · 31 answers · asked by Apple S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Yes! What kind of friend is that? Why would you even want a friend like that? Maybe she doesn't realize she's doing it
2007-11-21 14:38:35 · answer #1 · answered by jesgonecrazy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honey... that isn't a friend.
She gets her kicks by putting you down. She feels superior by putting you down. And she does this nasty behavior in front of other associates. She does this knowing your financial status... that you have to save up for what you want.
If you have a favorite soft pair of sneakers... fine. If you are saving up for the better coat... fine. These are your choices. You have to make your selections carefully because you have to save your money for these things. A friend would accept you for the person you are, warts and all.
You can tell her off if you want to... or just move on and make some real friends.
There are FRIENDS and there are ACQUAINTANCES... even within family groups.
Acquaintances only call you when they want something... bring a present to a birthday party, or come when they call. These people are "users" at best. They typically don't care about you or anything going on in your life. You always wonder where you stand with these people until you put 2 + 2 together.
Friends are different. They are there for you, usually share common interests, offer a shoulder to cry on, cheer you on, and want the best for you.
At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with.
2007-11-21 22:45:10 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TOTALLY! If she's gonna be that way, then she's not worth hanging around. Some people just can't afford to buy all the expensive Abercrombie and Hollister stuff (like me), and we just wear whatever we want to wear... if she has a problem w/ that, and if she embarrassed you in front of a bunch of people, that's her problem, and go find someone else that actually doesn't mind what you wear. Or you could just talk w/ her.... and if she still has a problem w/ that, she isn't such a good friend, now is she? Find someone who respects you for who you are, and not what you wear.
Good luck!
2007-11-21 22:41:28 · answer #3 · answered by lalala <3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes because my friend that is a terrible friend....I had the same trouble last year they made fun of my shoes...now I told themmm "" you ever you may think you are have no right to disrespect me..I told her to back of because she didn;t look good in anything no matter if they were designer brands...and I told her no matter what I wear I look beautiful even if u don;t think its true say it because it will make u feel better and make her feel worse.. Dump her as ur friend there are better once out there. Not being mean but just don;t be friends with people who embarras you...I know you might be young because these problems happen to kids in junior high or high school..;)
2007-11-21 22:41:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is not a friend. She is a condescending control freak and if I were you, I would let her go. She does not treat you with respect.
I'm sure there is someone else who will be a true friend, not someone who cuts you down because of their own arrogance.
I would not say anything. Let her go. If she asks, tell her that you will not tolerate her treatment any more. She probably wouldn't like it, but you have to set some boundaries.
2007-11-21 22:40:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly she doesn't sound like much of a friend to me as true friends would never put you down, especially in front of others and that is what she is doing. I would confront her and tell her you get embarrassed and hurt when she talks to you like that (especially in front of others) and that you would appreciate it if she would stop. If she doesn't stop then she obviously isn't a friend and you really need to look for other friends that do respect you and your feelings as you deserve them and don't EVER settle for anything less than you deserve. Good luck!
2007-11-21 22:47:18 · answer #6 · answered by Donna P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stop hanging out with her all together. Then if she says something, let her know the exact reason. It's completely ridiculous that she would degrade you like that. If she is your "Friend" she wouldn't care what you dressed like. I embarrass the hell out of my friends. I'm very out going and loud. Not obnoxiously loud, but very comfortable and confident. They end up laughing about it after it's all said and done. My point is, friends are people who accept you for who you are, not what you wear or how you act.
2007-11-21 22:46:24 · answer #7 · answered by Satyr Prince 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you should sit down and have a talk with her. i know this sounds dorky, but use "i" statements (i'm a psych major) so that you aren't putting all the blame on her. tell her you know that you don't dress that fashionably but that you don't have money at the moment to help your wardrobe.
and maybe she really is just looking out for you. i don't want to put ideas in your head, but maybe other people have said things to her about you and she is just trying to help your image.
maybe you can save up money and go shopping with her. let her assist you but don't buy anything that isn't you. you're free to be yourself. dressing fashionable is expensive. but you don't need to dress "fashionable" but wear attractive clothes that flatter your figure and look presentable.
good luck!
2007-11-21 22:42:46 · answer #8 · answered by prettyenoughforyou 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess you should because a friend saying something like it just rude. I mean I have a friend and she wore a dress to school one day and nothing even special occured that day!!
But if you think about, maybe she's going somewhere, maybe that's all she could find in her closet? O-o
All those maybez.
Clothes shouldn't rly matter. :]
2007-11-21 22:40:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this doesn't sound like a very good friend. Maybe it's time you found a new friend. It sounds like she's grown up to be a little more shallow then you are. I would def. say something to her, along the lines of it really hurts my feelings when you say things like that, you know I can't afford nice things. Or something like that. If she doesn't stop it then stop hanging around her, because she's really bad for your self esteem.
2007-11-21 22:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think that if she were a real friend she wouldn't be saying she doesn't like your clothes. If she keeps this up, you should find new friends. And if you really like her but don;t like the way she treats you, maybe you could just tell her that you like your clothes and she shouldn't be saying things like that. Hope I helped, ~Meghan L
2007-11-21 22:41:07 · answer #11 · answered by Meghan L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋