Hey guys. This is a personal Q, so please dont make a joke of it.I broke up with my partner today after 7yrs &

Question

Me and my partner were with each other for 7yrs, we have 5 kids together, We werent getting on for a while becos of his moodchanges.. I was walking on egg shells all the time, and i was finding myself rushing home if i was gone out for more than an hour, I was pure miserable so i finished it. Over the last few months i told him over and over that i wasnt going to put up with it for much longer...and he would snap out of it for a couple of days, but when i finished it, i told him that it was his own fault and that he had plenty of oppertunitys to change...He then just turned on me roaring that i was a rotten mother that my kids were neglected(not a bit true, I live for my kids)..and that out of all the mistakes in his life Im the worst, He called me an ugly hag with ugly stretch marks and that knowbody would go near me...How do i get past those comments?? Im so hurt, How could a man speak bout the mother of his kids like that? I feel sick thinking about it...Plz help??

Thanks to those who answerd...Bt i just have to say to vito, I did not go and have another baby everytime it got rocky, I was on the pill, I got in the implant and i also had the coil in and i concieved with each one of them, I am very fertile and my only way of not concieving again is to have my tubes Cut, (or take a vow of celebicy) and as im only 27 no doctor wants to do the precedure until im in my thirties...So Vito you got me all wrong.

Thanks to those who answerd...Bt i just have to say to vito, I did not go and have another baby everytime it got rocky, I was on the pill, I got in the implant and i also had the coil in and i concieved with each one of them, I am very fertile and my only way of not concieving again is to have my tubes Cut, (or take a vow of celebicy) and as im only 27 no doctor wants to do the precedure until im in my thirties...So Vito you got me all wrong.

Answer 1

THE FIVE KIDS BIT TOLD ME ALL I NEED TO KNOW .I BET EVERY TIME IT WAS GETTING ROCKY U THOUGHT HEY LETS HAVE ANOTHER BABY THAT WILL CURE ALL OUR ILLS AND BRING US CLOSER TOGETHER.HE'S A **** AND HE TOOK U FOR A LONG SPIN BUT I DOUBT U R BLAMELESS.DEEP DOWN U KNEW THE TRUTH U CHOSE TO IGNORE .NOW U PAY THE PRICE.

Answer 2

Sounds like he was an ***, no offense.
Don't let what he said get to you. Tons of women, and almost all mothers, have stretch marks. They are not a horrible thing for people to cope with, but they are very difficult to get rid of. Some people have them before they ever have kids, so you shouldn't think they're a scar, or anything to be ashamed of. In a way they're like battle scars. You should be proud.
Though I have no idea how old you are, you're never to old. Seriously, there isn't even much to say there.
You said he had mood swings, so you shouldn't be hurt by what he has to say. It sounds like he can't control his own emotions, and/or he doesn't try to.
Since you said you were rushing home every hour, I'm assuming you have things you would like to get done away from home. If you're on your own, with five kids, that has to be hard. Try day care, get them involved in school activities/youth centers. Five kids in seven years has to be so hard. You need some relaxation, but don't neglect them. Do things like "Mom Spa Days" where all six of you can put on green face masks and crowd on the sofa with a movie. Have friends bring over their kids and spend time with them both.
I know seven years is a long time, and that relationships become your life, but you can't let him take your life with him.
Now that you're split, your kids may go to visit him. That will give you free time too. It seems like this split can only give you benefits. Emotionally and physically.
I hope things work out well.

Answer 3

Sorry about your break up.I think the root of the problem lies in your X.Sometimes people cant express whats really going on inside. And somewhere along the way men were taught Its OK to be an *** to the wife or wasn't taught any different. But if you love someone you should try to help them with emotional problems .Its for better or worse baby.You made the commitment.Now let me say ,some forms of abuse no one has to take.Just remember this the next time you start a new relationship and you will eventually. The people closest to you will hurt you the most! Fact of life.I think if you surround yourself with family and positive people who want to help your whole Family helps.And remember just because you say it's over doesn't mean it is for your children .You need to think of them and you need to find some respectable way to move forward for there sake.Life is a bi*ch then you die .Its hard to get it right.

Answer 4

first, I would like to say (don't know if you know it, but) you can't change someone. people like that need to stay away from having a relationship. seriously. he treated you with no respect. and you don't deserve to have those kind of comments in your life.. but onto your question.
People do say mean things. I know. All it ever takes is time. You know that you are a good mother, and that is all that matters.. as far as no one would touch you because of your stretch marks. **** that statement. ALL the decent guys out there will not look at your stretch marks. Hell, some of guys think that they are sexy. As for the mistake, everyone says that. I have a 'mistake' in my life, but at least I have the decency to not tell him that.
Putting someone into a depressional state of mind isn't the best way to solve problems. To anyone. he was in the wrong, and all you have to think about is that you AREN'T what he says you are. Everyone is beautiful to someone. that is all that should matter.

Answer 5

People say things out of anger, that they really do not mean. I know he should not have said those things, and he was wrong in doing so. but what both of you need is to set down together, alone and talk. in this way you can get to the heart of the problem. when a guy gets that way there is always a reason for it, be it something at work, bills anything at all. but that is a very important part about being married. confide in each other. both of you should talk to each other about anything that is bothering you. you are not just married, but you should also act and do things together. act as best friends. you need to tell him what I just told you. it will help. and tell him not to hold anything back if it is bothering him. and you do the same when something is bothering you. marriage is a team work operation. that is the whole point in being married. to become as they say, as one together. and make this one rule you should always live by ( never treat the or say anything to the other, that you would not want them o say or treat you. ) A marriage is not something anyone should take lightly. it is a bond to last a life time. as it says in the Bible. and in the wedding vows. To death do you part. I know at times things get hard, but you can always work it out, it take a lot of work to stay married. I know, I have been married many years now. and yes we still fight at times, but that is only normal. all married couples fight once and a while, that is natural. but you also need to learn to forgive, for things to work. even if you feel you are not in the wrong. your marriage is worth it.

Talk to him, please. you will be happy you did, if you love him.

Answer 6

People say things out of anger and fear. Your partner was mad and wanted to hurt you so he said things he thought would. Stretch marks, poo poo, any woman who has had a child has them somewhere and any man that truly loves his woman will look past them to you and not your skin.

It hurts when someone you care about attackes you at your core, but consider the source and ignore him. Your stretch marks are badges of love in bearing your children.

Hold your head high, spend time with your children and continue to be a good mom. Take some time for yourself as you cannot take care of anyone else if you do not take care of you.

Only you can answer if you stay gone or go back but if you do I encourage you and your partner to seek counseling on appropriate ways to communicate with eachother for you and your childrens sake as they are learning by your examples. Make them healthy ones.

Good luck

Answer 7

Sorry to hear of your situation. Nobody would, ideally, want to be where you are BUT...that Is where you are.
It will be hard but you have to move on and build a new life. What others say about you is not the issue....you must have friends and family; seek support local care agencies. Enrol in a Parent & Toddler club.
Now is not always.
You will be in my prayers.

Answer 8

Well, break up is never easy. And considering his ongoing mood problems, there is nothing surprising about his reaction.

He said those things not because there is something wrong with you, but because there is something wrong with him. And his response to you only confirms that you've made the right decision to leave him.

This should actually make it easier for you to leave him because remembering his uncomplementary comments helps you to be sure about it.

Answer 9

he was only saying those things out of anger and him being upset about eveything...we often say those negative things just so you can think no one will want you. which is VERY UNtrue. because you can have the next best thing. so dont let those comments upset you. if you were unhappy and you got out of that relationship good for you. just continue and live life for you and your children. dont dwell on it because how can you live for the future if u cant let go of the past? good luck

Answer 10

Well, Im glad he is out of you life, and Im sorry that idiot hurt you. Obviously (on his defense) he is deppresed with his life. BUT! that is not your fault, but his. He now has lost the most important thing in life, Family and love. So, his lost, you should think of moving on with your children and find better ways to protect.
Good LUCK AND GOD BLESS
PS. those stupid comments I bet he didnt meant them, he was just pissed about you living him cause he is nothing without you and he knows it

Answer 11

Breakin up is ugly perhaps when you said that to him he had to hit back with something cos he felt guilty. i have a feeling though that its best going your seperate ways if things haven't changed before. Do try and have one last go at talking to him though for the kids sake, you want to try and get on amicable terms for them