My hubby was having fun outside .After months of fight & aruguments i have decided to give him another chance but I get very angry whenever i see him the thought of what he did makes me boil .i try my best to irritate him even when he does his best to make me happy .but it does not help .how am i to get over this
2007-11-21 11:10:11 · 16 answers · asked by Sabrina T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The answer in no.
Only you can help yourself.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop punishing your husband. Swallow your pride and seek the counseling you need.
Good luck.
2007-11-21 11:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You definitely need a marriage counselor, maybe a lawyer too. You guys really need professional help, it won't be simple either. Aside from therapy I suggest get some spiritual counseling too. They help a lot in providing guidance and supportive community which encourages loving relationships.
What you need to do the most is develop and maintain an open, good and "constructive" communication with your hubby. Constructive meaning, communicating with the primary goal of resolving issues (objectively) and further developing your relationship. Instead of just emotionally taking pot shots at each other. I say objectively also because emotions are part of a relationship, but don't let it get in the way of your objective to resolve issues and strengthening your bond.
With cheating, He was hungry and he ate somewhere else. Try to find out (without being too emotional) why or how it can get to that stage. Although it is a very tempting idea, keep in mind that you are doing this so that you can resolve the issue not so much that you can punish him for it. Whatever you did or did not do, do not blame your self. HE was the one who cheated. Even IF you somehow may have neglected him or some reason, it does not give him the right to do what he did. Try to find out why and what you both can do to prevent this from recurring in the future.
Take care and good luck.
2007-11-21 11:38:10 · answer #2 · answered by Heretix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times it is easier to forgive than forget. You, have done neither. It is HARD to forgive and forget things like this. It does take ALLOT of time to get over this wound that has been cut deep, sometimes the wounds never heal, thus the relationships can never be mended. Give it some time, and keep asking your self if you really do want to try and make it work. If you do, then work HARD on it, if not..................
2007-11-21 11:30:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If by "having fun outside" you mean cheating, then the best way to get over it is to terminate the relationship and find another. If you don't want to do this, then you have to forgive and stop allowing the past to enter the present. You need to build your relationship from now, not from the past. If you can't or refuse to do this, then your only solution is to terminate this relationship and look for another.
2007-11-21 11:16:16 · answer #4 · answered by arizona wolfman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you genuinley want to forgive him, you have to stop trying to irritate him.
But from the fact that you do want to irritate him, it would seem you're not over what he did to you. Maybe you should take some time out alone, away from him, to get yourself together and decide once and for all whether he really is right for you.
If you decide that he is, you must forgive AND forget. Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you
2007-11-21 11:14:12 · answer #5 · answered by bethwozere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i got a minor problem.. but do the same thing.. my bf made a commitment and he thinks a mamas boy, 100$ paycheck, having unprotected sex, and not paying child support is a man and acting simple.. so yes i want him gone too. you and i do the same thing. but diff circumstances. you might want to see a shrink, but then again since he decided to get between someone elses legs, why is that you problem.. i would be out. and now bf will be out.
2007-11-21 11:14:48 · answer #6 · answered by PreciousBladesTM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As if my opinion has anything to do with it but it sounds to me that you really want somebody else. Good for him for doing his best to please you but shame on you for irritating him all the time. Get a divorce and irritate him that way so he can find a real woman and be happy.
2007-11-21 11:15:43 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
CUT YOUR LOSSES AND DITCH THE DUDE. Obviously he won't have trouble finding a partner. If you're willing to put up with a lot of s*** why be with him. I'm a really nice guy and I'm home alone!
2007-11-21 11:18:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
speek to him look on the inside not the outside and try to let him back into your life
2007-11-21 11:14:51 · answer #9 · answered by awostarek 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If talking to him doesn't work, maybe you & he can try marriage or couples counseling.
Hope things get better.
2007-11-21 11:14:41 · answer #10 · answered by knicname 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋