I am just wondering if I am missing something here with my hubby- as he seems to beleive that paying the house bills, buying groceries and letting me use his car is showing me he loves me. BUT I dont equate love with material things but with emotional things, like romatic gestures, sending me cards, buying me flowers, writing me email poems and affection like hugs and kisses, backrubs and sharing our thoughts each day. I am way off base thinking I should have these things to feel loved?
2007-11-21 10:39:58 · 13 answers · asked by flyingdove 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1.-I buy her flowers every few weeks.
2.-I write her several love letters every week
3.-I kiss the back of her neck every time she cooks me dinner
4.-I tell her I love her
5.-Every Friday I take her engagement and wedding rings off so that I can get on one knee and put them back on her. That's still exciting after 6 years.
2007-11-21 11:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by stevel226 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What an outstanding Birthday desire! you're extremely enjoyed and that i'm very happy for you. AND - happy Birthday Angel4U! I desire you the two a protracted and happy lifestyles at the same time! like to you the two - from a right away guy who thinks you the two make the international a greater advantageous place to be! Gerry :))))
2016-11-12 08:51:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, i'm not a guy but, i had to answer. men aren't hardwired the way women are. it's rare for a man to write poems and love letters or send cards for no reasons or sharing thoughts. many guys will do the flower thing early in a relationship but it doesn't last anymore than the women getting dolled up all the time for her guy. men are just different and you need to accept that. my husband shows me he loves me by helping out around here when he can or being able to see when i'm hurting or sad and acknowledging it. you'll see in time, that these things will mean more than a poem.
2007-11-21 12:45:37 · answer #3 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Realisitc check here..
Does he know that's what you want? Have you done your part in communicating these to him? Some guys are not built for that...or never learned how to be romantic. Some of us have to learn this.
Don't assume that just because you see it on TV or in a movie that all guys have that romantic spark in them. Many of us men don't...just like men assume that after the wedding all wives will freely have sex with their husbands any time they want.
If that's what you want...then you need to teach and show him. Remove your expectations, have that patience...and I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.
2007-11-21 11:00:16 · answer #4 · answered by stonehands 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I show my wife by helping around the house or making the bed , or the little things that she likes, i send her flowers sometimes when its going to be a surprise,, i also do not let my wife put gas in HER car,, and she loves that cause her little hand will get dirty
2007-11-21 10:49:00 · answer #5 · answered by bigdaddy9965 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No - you are not. These are the things that make YOU feel loved. It might not be that obvious to your husband. You need to tell him this, remind him, not nag him about it.
Find ways to make it EASY for him to do these things.
Men and women communicate love in very different ways. Don't assume something that makes sense to you (and is obvious to you), makes sense to him and is just as obvious.
Example - you want the emotional connections / romance to feel loved. Fine enough.
Your husband (like a lot of men) view "being loved" in the physical sense. Therefore to take care of your physical needs translates to "loving you" according to his line of thinking.
This is ALSO why most men view having sex as the PRIMARY way to show / share love.
"feeling loved" to a woman is an emotional expirience, to men it is often a physical act or manifistation of "taking care of" their spouse.
This is also why men often look to "fix things" when their woman is telling them about something, when all she often wants from her spouse is for him to "listen".
The guy thinks "Well, listenning is all well and good, but it doesn't solve the problem. Something must be done / fixed / changed". For the woman, she thinks, "He was kind enough to listen to my concerns, he must really love me."
2007-11-21 10:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by aa889d 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
yes, that's true, he is doing the material but neglecting the emotional. I imagine his parents must not have been good role models. You will have to try and find a way to teach him but some old dogs can't learn new tricks. Tolerance, acceptance, or start preparing and checking out your options.
2007-11-21 10:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jack Bent 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
answering for my wife ....I tell her how beautiful she is everyday, I ask her how her day goes all the time, I talk to her about her problems, and generally I support her in most decisions. I have been faithful to her forever, and will remain that way.....I love her, after 20+ yrs, I know I do, but I'm sure I could do better as far as spending time with her and stuff, and taking her out on dates;)
2007-11-21 12:10:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know what makes you feel loved? well have you told him? if not why? many mistakes in couples is assuming the other one knows or SHOULD know what we want or what make us happy or unhappy. huh! sorry nobody is the same and nobody's a mind reader. Tell him. ask him gently to rub your back and when he is done tell him that you so enjoyed it and you fell so in love with him during and for doing it. Brush your man's ego with compliments and he will do it all over again.
2007-11-21 10:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by caliguy_30 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, I couldn't help but answer this.
You show her and tell her that you love her.
I had a guy who thought that if he buys me things, etc. that it was enough.
Unfortunately, I left him because I didn't feel loved.
I found someone new that truly loves me and he always tells me and shows me by just the little things that he does for me. When I am sick, he takes care of me.
He comforts me and is always considerate of my feelings.
He is a romantic.
It is up to you if you want to work on your relationship or throw in the towel. -Best wishes.
2007-11-21 10:43:39 · answer #10 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋