Disturbing thoughts about children tearing me apart!?

Question

First of all... I DO NOT LIKE THESE THOUGHTS!!! I really needed to make that perfectly clear. I can't stand it...

For about a month now horrible sexual thoughts about children (even those in my own family!) have been popping into my mind, it makes me so sick that I sometimes have to grab my head, tilt back, and scream just to get it to go away. It looms over everything I do.

Part of the problem seems to be that I'm obsessing over it, instead of just letting it pass. But can you blame me? Every time one of these thoughts pops into my head, I try to fight it away, which only seems to make it stronger.

My biggest fear is that these thoughts will follow me for the rest of my life, and I'm only 16! I worry that thoughts such as these will stop me from experiencing life to it's fullest, and I fear I'll never be fit to start a family of my own because of it.

So what should I do? Up to this moment in my life I've always been sure I was a good person, now I don't know what to believe...

I know I would never hurt a child, NEVER!, but what scares me is what if these thoughts turn me into something I'm not, I've thought about killing myself several times because of this.

I'm afraid to seek help, I'm worried my family and friends will find out, I'm worried that whomever I speak to will judge me wrongly because of it.

I just want it all to go away, forever! But I don't know what to do!

I've decided to seek help... I 'm scared, but the benefits far outweigh the risks, I'm sorry I brought this up here in the first place.

Amers, I meant can you blame me for obsessing over these thoughts, not having them.

Answer 1

trust me, if you're 16 very few things about you will be same in as little as 2 years

Answer 2

I agree with all the answer that are telling you to seek medical help immediately I am quite sure you are doing O C D But its treatable but only a doctor can prescribe you the medication you need Also you need the help of a good therapist who is specialized in sexual behavior Do you trust your mother enough to confide in her / Because you need the help of your family YOu are sick and theres no shame to be sick If you cannot face your mother write her a letter and dont forget to mention in your letter that you think about suicide eveyday MDo it a tonight or tommorow My biggest fear is one day you want be able to contol those thoughs and will act on it to be caught and put in jail for the next 15 yrs . Can you immagine the shock for your parents I am talking to you like a mother because I am the mother of 5 grown up sons and having a son in jail is the most crusifing thing a parent can go through I am sure your parents will be glad to help you unless they are not real parents Even if you are not a religious person ask God to help you to come forward with your parents You are in my prayers I am so glad you deceide to seek help P S do not tell your friends Yes they will judge you You know our friends do not have to know all our personal life And please do not ever regret for putting your sickness on this site

Answer 3

OK, let's be really frank here. You seriously need to see a mental health professional, preferably a psychologist, and completely level with him/her.

For one reason, the thoughts are extremely painful and persistent and are ruining your life. But the other reason to get help is you need an accurate diagnosis, followed by treatment, so that you never ever act on these thoughts.

The thoughts could be symptoms of an obsessive-compulsive disorder or something more serious. So they could just be obsessive thoughts, or you might start acting on them. I don't want to frighten you, because you are already torturing yourself. But you must be sure that you rid yourself of the thoughts, and that you never act on them. I think you know that.

So get professional help. Go to your parents or school counselor or your family physician and ask them to give you a recommendation to see a psychologist, then follow through. You don't necessarily have to tell them what is going on, just tell them you are desperate to see a mental health professional. Just do it. It is that important.

Good luck to you, and thanks for sharing what must be very difficult to share.

Answer 4

What do you mean by "can you blame me"? The thought that you are even thinking about that crap, I am sorry but gives me that absolute creeps!!!! Can you not get someone your own age or a little bit older is that the problem? I agree with the others you owe it to yourself and the people you are preying upon in your own mind to get help. This is definitely not normal and I am sure you already know that it isn't right! Please please picture yourself as a dad someday and someone thinking that about your children. They are not sex objects but innocent angels so don't hurt God's children otherwise you will deal with his wrath!!!!! Go get help and don't do anything stupid ya hear!!!!

Answer 5

This woman is jealous and insecure, and he or she does not like the actuality that he had a existence-time and a relatives earlier he met her. those are her subject concerns, however the priority lies along with your ex-husband. He helps her to act like this and administration him. needless to say, his relationship together with her is greater important to him than staying on sturdy words with you and protecting a relationship along with his infants. It sucks, yet as long as he's together with her, you could no longer do something yet settle for that he's out of your lives, and circulate on.

Answer 6

Talk to a psychiatrist - QUICK. This is not going to resolve itself. You need to get treatment for this before you act on your feelings. Some people have these feelings; I don't know why. But you're not a bad person UNLESS YOU ACT ON THESE FEELINGS. So don't act on them - seek help before you hurt some kid badly. It might take medication. But you need to do something now. Immediately.

Answer 7

See your doctor. Today. Don't hold anything back. Obsessive compulsions can be controlled if not eliminated.

Answer 8

i dont think this is a sign of pedophilia. i believ its OCD. if thats the case it can be treated with medication and therapy.

Answer 9

Have you tried talking to a counselor?

Answer 10

You need to see a psychologist.