“We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are”?

Question

What does that mean?

Answer 1

It means that we tend to view things not as they truely are, but in the context of our own personal preconceived notions and prejudices. Our previous expiriences will often affect our expectation of future events.

Example: If you have had a bad relationship in the past with a gal that likes shoe shopping, then you might be inclinded not to date women that like to shoe shop - even if the two things may (or may not) have anything to do with each other.

It also has to do with your own personal notions about WHAT something should or should not be.

Example: The wife views being a loving person as keeping a good house, cooking for her man, and taking care of the kids. However, her husband (while he likes these things and appreciates them) - views her level of love for him directly related to their frequency and quality of sexual intercourse. (This is a very common wife vs. husband reality difference)

The man is frustrated because he feels "unloved" because his wife is so busy doing the things SHE thinks equals shouwing him love, that at the end of the day she doesn't have enough energy to engage in the ONE activity that HIS mind equates with showing love. She is upset because, "I take care of the house and kids, I cook for him, but he doesn't appreciate it ....." Its because its not HIS vision of being "loving", its her version.

Both genders do this a great deal - project THEIR need onto the spouse, then work to meet them, and then don't understand WHY their spouse doesn't appreciate all they do for the other person.

I'd be willing to bet its one of the largest frustrations within marriage, and is at the root of more misunderstandings / fights than any other thing.

I've come to believe its a very common (and sometimes difficult) barrier to couples truely understanding each other's needs.

Answer 2

There is no objective reality that is free from bias. There is only a 'version' of reality which is tainted by the subjective life experience and personality traits of the person perceiving. This also means that e.g. "abortion can be both right and wrong" or better yet, reasonable people should always seek to find common ground, especially on very firmly held beliefs or at least never seek to completely disregard another person's opinion. Their opinion, judgement and beliefs could be as valid as yours.

Answer 3

It means depending on your unique background of personal experience, life lessons, fears, disposition, personality, etc, things are how you perceive them, no matter what the actual situation is. For instance, it's the core difference between being optimistic and pessimistic. Also, humans are emotional creatures, and experience things through emotion, not just data imput. I hope this made some sense ;)!

Answer 4

That's the beauty of having a mind of your own, your decisions are based on how you were brought up to see situations, if you had parents who had a short temper, well, you get upset about things, if they were loving and understanding, then you have the sensibility to sit down and analyze before attacking. And yes we normally don't see things as they are, when we are irrational, we see them how we are.

peace out

Answer 5

I think this all has to do with your perception. If my husband says that he shows he loves me by working hard to earn money so that I don't have to work, but I only see love in the form of roses and candy, then I'm not seeing things the way they are, but I'm only seeing things the way I am seeing them.

Answer 6

Basically that means that there is more than one way to look at a situation:

Abortion: I feel it's awful to do that... it's against the bible, etc.. but I see it that way because I am a Christian
Someone else might feel it's ok to do because they feel it's a choice.

There are a million different expamples, but we see situations based on who we are inside and that's with everything, war, family, marriage, etc.

Answer 7

How Philosophy 101.

Answer 8

Seeing things & are people as you want to see them. Instead of who & what they are. Your way or no way! Living in a glass bubble & only your way of life is what's inside that bubble with you. Yet we have over six billion people on this planet also with their own bubble too.

Answer 9

Saints see a world of saints. Shysters see a world of thieves and marks. People who can t be trusted see a world of opportunists looking to take advantage of them. We project into others the things that drive us, the things we are and the things we fear we are. We personify others with ourselves.

Answer 10

That just means that you view life through the prism of your own hopes, dreams, fears, and experiences.

Don't worry. We all do this.

Good luck.