A Poem - Lost - Comments Anyone?

Question

Hurt and misery occupying space
Where heart and soul danced in love and grace
Head lowered sadly, unable to face
Reality and truth have parted ways

Pain and harm abundantly everywhere
Damage irreversibly causing despair
Incompetent of mind, cannot compare
Mercy and charity have disappeared

Begging answers to forgotten questions
Anticipate hearing the unspoken
Eyes close and seal for needed protection
Life and spirit have lost their direction

Answer 1

I like it Marg :)))))Happy Gobble day to you .......

I write poetry to its so great to be creative and to show your emotions in the writings when you need to find an outlet to express them....

Especially what you write about pain and love etc......some great poetry is created by these feelings :))) write on sister :)))))

Answer 2

I truly think this is a great poem with vivid imagery and a strong story. I would probably switch the ending around a bit :
Eyes close and seal for needed protection
Life and spirit have lost all direction
Begging answers to forgotten questions
Anticipate hearing the unspoken
in order to keep the rhyme scheme intact and also because it's a great ending line.
But just as it is, it's wonderful. Thank you for sharing.

Answer 3

Everybody has felt lost at one point. and you have shown skill, to capture it in words.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. I hope you dont feel like this all the time!

Here is a poem that is also called "Lost"!

Lost

Lost in a world, that scares me to death,
Lost in a crowd, I'm losing my breath.
Lost as a boy, lost as a man,
I need to grow up, don't think I can.

Lost as a person, can't find my way.
Lost in life, every day.
Lost in worry, who am I?
All my life, I've lived a lie.

Lost to kindness, lost to love,
Lost in a sky, like a new-born dove.
Lost in thought, which I shouldn't do,
It winds me up, I can’t get through.

Lost to comfort, all kind words,
Lost to advice, it isn't heard.
Lost to those who really care,
All these people, always there.

Lost in me, I need a break,
Lost in wonder, which road to take?
Lost in a place I don't know well,
Where are you now? There's no one to tell.

Lost here, all alone,
Lost apart from the mobile phone.
Lost still, there are no calls.
I'm struggling alone, to break these walls.

Lost in mind, lost in soul,
Lost memories, they're just a hole.
Lost family, lost mate,
Gone now, yet I'm full of hate.

Lost in a straight world, and I am gay,
Lost now, for what to say,
Lost in boredom, think I'll leave.
There's a lot in life I need to achieve.

by Dan Brown

Answer 4

Thanks for sharing this with me. You've expressed an overwhelming loss of hope and in that place I think we are all indeed lost. There is a dark place in our minds that makes us incompetent. It is not a place to dwell. I think poetry, like art, is a wonderful vehicle for exploring and sharing emotions, and like art, the picture you paint reveals a hidden part of yourself to others. When you reach out, remember that friends are near.

Answer 5

This is very good. It shows only the dark side, however. You can make it much more powerful by adding a second half - shedding light on the positive side that can grow from the same feelings.

Take us down into the depths, but finish by bringing us up into the light! Remind us of hope, of the power of optimism, of how time heals and life moves forward. Show us the balance in the universe - that every negative has a counter-balancing positive. Lead us into a healing space.

Answer 6

You named your poem correctly, you seem to be truly lost if you feel this way. You can take heart in knowing we all have those little bumps in the road. You need to flip your poem over and write about the bright side of life. I think you will be able to write a great poem, you have the talent.

Answer 7

Hi Marguerite,

Your poem is wonderful.. it is exactly how many of us feel especially when in distress or in sadness or in pain of having "lost" something which is or maybe close to our hearts.

Keep writing , don't stop...
Take care, ciao

Answer 8

First of all I like this poem. A lot of sadness and unanswered questions with little hope but at this time it fits my mood, the nearing holidays. Thank you for writing it.

Answer 9

It is wroth with emotion and sadness, your poem works with the very intricities of what the reader sees, great imagery and clarity, well done.

Answer 10

if your source of thought is merely electronic media that projects wars and miseries around the clock, then it is a little bit unrealistic. all things continue to row together in the time of river