Give me examples of what you'd find intimidating with a woman?

Question

Anything! How can a woman identify whether a man is intimidated?

OK. I'm glad nobody is intimidated here, but for "those other men" who may be, how can women accurately identify this?

Thanks

Answer 1

A person's power and willingness to do harm can intimidate me, having nothing to do with gender.

An example would be a major customer whose business I rely on heavily, who is angry about something and threatens to take HER business elsewhere - which could be very damaging.

It has nothing to do with being a man or woman, it is the power s/he wields. My goal is to never be subject to that situation, however.

EDIT:

To finally answer the question, he might be easily agitated, hypersensitive, unreasonably competitive and just plain not relaxed. As if he constantly has to prove something rather than letting things flow naturally.

If she is a high roller or very accomplished in some way, he might feel inadequate, as if he must compete, and win.

Men (most) want/need to feel respected. They want to know/feel that they can handle their own be-izness, and handle hers if she needs him to. That he can take care of the woman if the need were to arise.

However, if he lacks some confidence and, by some measure, she is better situated or accomplished than he is, he might feel inadequate and agitated by not feeling that he can handle things as well as she can.

Not that he wants to control her, or feels superior but wants to be and feel respected. Sometimes its hard to feel that way if he is looking up at her all the time.

Answer 2

The only time I hear of men being intimidated by women it's in the context of dating. Men (or boys) who are inexperienced with women or dating will often be intimidated because they do not know how to approach or talk to women. This is not totally unfounded though, since women can often get defensive or abrasive if approached by a man they are not interested in. Almost all men can sometime be intimidated by women they think are "out of their league," even though that is often not the case.

Anyway, it's pretty easy to tell if a guy is intimidated by a women. He will often be very quiet and not speak much, won't look you in the eyes, could act twitchy or nervous, and most likely will not approach you to speak at all.

Answer 3

I've found loaded weapons in an unstable woman's hands intimidating. And there are plenty of young women who are physically more powerful, and natively more combative than I am. Potentially lethal force in the hands of any unpredictable person is something to be feared; and being intimidated, thence compliant, doesn't seem to me particularly shameful in that circumstance. Survival is the first order of business; formal justice is the second order of business; and having your revenge in secret at a later time is the third order of business. (I'm dangerous in my way, but I'm never the bully).

'Being dangerous' isn't a compliment. 'Intimidating/intimidated' doesn't mark much but the instantaneous estimates of relative power and the cost of immediate battle. (See Nietzsche for better language and more detail in this matter.)

Anyway, when I'm being intimidated, I signal that I am being intimidated by being pointedly polite and exaggeratedly compliant until I can escape. Once the 'free blades' situation is restored, all bets are off: guerre a outrance. No one has intimidated me twice.

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ADDENDUM: Sarah serves the discussion well by pointing to the difference between physical intimidation and other forms of intimidation.

The other forms of intimidation (those that are not backed by physical force in any way) are handled by submission or by resistance.

For example:

Intimidation through extortion--"If you don't do what I say, you'll lose your job," she said.

If you resist, you might lose your job; if you submit, you might retain your job for a while longer. I do the calculations, and act. I've resisted and kept my job, and I've resisted and lost my job. And I've submitted and still lost my job.

The conclusion I drew from my experience is that attempts to intimidate through extortion ought to be resisted on principle.


The Problem of the Assertive Woman (Coworker, or otherwise a formal peer).

This one's easy: pay attention to what she says. If she's wrong, fight her. If she's right, cooperate with her.



The Problem of The Official Power Holder. "I'm in charge here," she said, "And what I say goes."

Another easy one: ignore her when she's wrong. The dice are rolling, and until they settle, you should be doing the right thing. The problematical is whether she'll learn that you've been right all along before she fires you. You might get lucky. I did, once.


The Problem of Lack-o'-Nooky

If she uses sex as a unit of exchange, or an instrument of policy, you're dealing with a hooker. Walk away. The love is gone.

Answer 4

I'm not inclined to be intimidated by anyone man or woman, impressed maybe. In less of course there was some overt threat of violence. I would think the symptoms of intimidation are pretty universal, avoidance, defensiveness, awkwardness, resentment, and envy. People all express these things differently. Intimidation usually has more to do with your own insecurity than the virtues or talents of the other person.

Answer 5

I wonder why men keep equating intimidation with a fear of physical assault...? Are women all supposed to be "intimidated" by men because men are more physically imposing? Would men want women to feel that way? Don't they call that irrational fear? Are men "intimidated" by men who are larger and stronger than themselves? I doubt it, because in daily encounters feelings of intimidation have little to do with a fear of being battered.

When women say men are intimidated by them, I think they're suggesting that men are used to weak *willed* women and can't match them intellectually or in terms of assertiveness. The biggest brute in the word can be a passive pushover. People can fear mentally sparring with you without being afraid of you physically. That's apples and oranges.

Answer 6

I realize I'm not a guy...but thought I'd chime in anyway...

I've been told that men who find women who do not need them, in any way, intimidating. I suppose that the complete and utter independence and lack of their necessity can really cause a guy to feel intimidated.

But then, if I really think about it, I might well have a strong reaction to a man who felt or acted that way in a relationship with me. So I guess its really no different...

Answer 7

When a man feels intimidated, it means he has insecurities to begin with, coming from himself or nutured into him by society. When someone is told that men has to be strong and do the first move, a woman strongwilled enough to take the initiative first, who's able to support family better than himself, and who refuses to be a quiet homemaker and is proficient in every aspect of her life.
As for me... I would count my lucky stars after meeting such a goddess

Answer 8

I had an experience when my dear hubby was doing a lot of traveling; there was this one case where one of his friends who was watching over us had taken it upon him self to man handle my son, this was years ago. No sooner had my son come back in the house and told me what had taken place, I'd gone out there and confronted him. Later on he told me that he was intimidated by me; I must confess I was put out slightly, cause all I was doing is protecting my son; I hadn't meant to intimidate him.

Answer 9

I think that sometimes when men get intimidated by women they feel that attack is the best form of defence, and then you get some stupid comment about your appearance - usually fat and ugly come into it even if they are the last things that you are and he is an absolute minger!

Answer 10

I might be a little intimidated by talking to an attractive girl but that is only if I want to hook up with her and it's not for the reasons of my being scared of thier womanhood, or what-not.