I'm 19 and am seriously considering losing my virginity to my bf of a year.
I've sorted out the contraception-I'm on the pill and have condoms.
I just have a few questions.
How badly will it hurt?
What will it feel like?
Is there any particular position that will make it easier on me?
Is there anything from your own experience that you think I should know before losing it?
Any tips to make it less painful?Thats what I'm most frightened of because I'm not good with pain!
2007-11-21 07:52:23 · 13 answers · asked by Mossy 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
He is 22 btw
2007-11-21 08:01:38 · update #1
(I hope you dont mind a bloke chiming in. I dont think some of your questions are being answered.)
Your first time, the guy needs to go slow and careful. Here is what I suggest:
You sit on the edge of the bed and lie back legs over your head. Put a pillow under your hips to raise you up. The guy stands on the floor and slowly leans into you.
This way the guy is not straining to do a 'push up' on you which might make him go too fast.
His hands are free to hold the bottle of lube and apply it. He is also free to watch you (which is a turn on) and he can see your face or your hand if you hold up a hand to say "stop".
Since he is your boyfriend - he wants to treat you nice and gentle (so he can do it again, and again).
Your hands should be reaching down feeling him going in and rubbing yourself.
Having you be aroused is important even if it is by your own hand. It opens things up, increases your natural lubrication and turns the pressure of penetration into something that is really, really fun. (Think of a back-scratch. Yes it hurts, but in a good way).
Here are some other things to think about:
- Sex is messy, but thats a good thing. The wetter things are, the better it usually is.
- Most couples do not have orgasm's at the same time or even from the penetration act. Dont expect this. A lot of foreplay is typical and many couples 'take turns' where one partner pleases the other, then vice-versa.
- Sex is play. I repeat: sex is play. Being worried, up-tight will ruin the experience. Someone may fart, there will be sloshy noises, just relax about it and take everything with a wide-eyed, cheerful attitude. You like your boyfriend, you trust him, so play with him. That is what sex is about.
While sex done stupidly can ruin a life - you sound like you have done all the right things so enjoy it.
2007-11-21 10:30:58 · answer #1 · answered by Grumpy Mac 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FIRST AND FOREMOST...MAKE SURE YOU ARE POSTIVE ABOUT DOING THIS BECAUSE ONCE IT IS GONE THERE IS NO GETTING IT BACK. Make sure you are emotionally ready to take this step and make this kind of commitment to your BF! There are alot of physical and emotional consequences to being sexually active and just be certain that you're BOTH prepared for those.
OK....It will hurt. No doubt. I have never heard anyone say that it does not hurt. For me the pain was bad, but not INTENSE, but my BF was very gentle and took it very slow. I was surprised though by the amount that I bled. It was alot of blood and I was shocked and a little scared. Being naive like I was I was afraid that we had damaged something. LOL!
Make certain that you have lots and lots of lubricant. This can help with the pain of entry and make it less of a forceful action.(I used forceful only for lack of a better term...sorry) and ask him to be very slow and gentle and to STOP if you say stop! I would advise only trying the missionary postion your first few times.(you lying down and him on top) It may help with the pain and honestly....Can you really see yourself being ready to do much more your first time anyway? It can be a wonderful and loving experience if everything is done right and the right emotions are there. It should be something special and not just "an act"...it should be a moment!
Like I said, think about whether or not this is truly the right time and the right person before you take this step. Good luck!
2007-11-21 08:03:00 · answer #2 · answered by whatshername 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just relax. It is not giving birth. LOL : ) It will hurt a little, but making love is a beautiful and fun experience. The main thing is to make sure you are ready. You have waited this long, maybe you should wait until marriage. Sex does change everything in a relationship. Make sure to communicate your fear with your bf. Also, be open and honest when you have sex....don't just grit your teeth. Tell your partner if he needs to slow down or if it hurts. Plenty of lubrication is the main key! Do not use baby oil it is bad for you. Go buy some KY warming liquid, it is wonderful. Good Luck! : )
2007-11-21 08:05:26 · answer #3 · answered by Krystal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first time for a boy=the first time for a girl. I think the whole "born again virgin" is stupid! NO! You've done it before! So guys aren't virgins because they don't have anything physically different, like girls do. I think that if two people are emotionally AND physically ready in their relationship, and gueniully care and love for eachother, then I think it's their choice. Grant it, I think that if two 14 year olds say they 'love' eachother then its wrong. Which is where my thoughts go kerplunk, what really needs to happen is that people KNOW what love is. Truly caring for someone, and be willing to give important things up for them, and willing to do ANYTHING for them, to die for them. and to make sure that it's vise versa as well! I am still a virgin at 17, I know I know, OH MY GOD right? But I thought I found the person and when I told him I was ready, about a month later he said that our relationship [of one year] was getting to seroius, and he didn't want to have sex with me and make it even more serious, so he broke up with me. So I am thankful that he actually thought enough of me to not do me and get it over with, but yea. I think that anytime you have sex that you should wait for the person you care about, not necesarilly the one you marry. [PS when I say sex, I'm talking intercourse. I don't think that anything else [besides anal...haha i know] is sex]
2016-04-05 02:17:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the pain depends on a couple different things:
firstly, you have to be horny and relaxed.. in the mood for sex, and it'll happen.
secondly, has your hymen broken? if it hasn't then it will be a little bit painful, but not a lot.. don't worry
sex for the first time isn't as glamorous as you think it will be, but it's totally normal for that to happen. and as you start, don't feel like you have to be flawless in you technique, or that you have preform well. It's your first time. all this worrying will make it worse. Relax, if you love him it'll be so worth it, and you'll look back on it and think 'yeh ok it was awkward but worth it'.
as far as positions go.. i'd say raised missionary, so thats like normal missionary, but where you have a couple pillows placed under your bum so it's easier for him to penetrate you, and you don't have to do all the work so it's easier for you if it does hurt, and he gets easy penetration.
what will it feel like? umm.. well if your one of those lucky girls that orgasms easily, you might just.. but i doubt it cuz it's your first time. but once you get past this stage, sex is sooo phenominal. it feels different to everyone. that's part of the adventure.
tips from my own experience, make sure he's the one that you want to give your virginity to. as long as you've got that covered, your fine.
have fun, and good luck
2007-11-21 08:03:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking this many questions perhaps you are not ready. Its difficult to say if it will hurt or not. For some women it does for other not at all.
Its didn't hurt for me because i was truely ready (i believe) i took things slow and relaxed.
However i aint your mother and i can't stop you, you are old enough to make your own decision. Just remember that all these questions only portray you are not 100% ready. Just my tips. Be relaxed as possible, lots of foreplay, use lots of lube and you be on top, that way you are in control
2007-11-21 08:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by Angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are u considering this because you want to loose your virginity or because you're in love and want to express that love sexually with your partner?????
If it's the first, let it wait - what's the rush???
If it's the second, let nature take it's course. Take it slow and make sure there's lots of foreplay and you're very lubricated.
It does hurt a bit, but only for a second and then it's better.
And it gets better every time -
Good luck
2007-11-21 07:57:03 · answer #7 · answered by deYoung 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but it hurt horribly for me.... But help reduce it by using lots of water based lube, condoms with no spremicide on them just regular lubricated condoms.... and take a tylenol before hand.... Be sure and urinate right afterwards ( I mean right away ) to avoid a UTI if you hate pain you will detest that, trust me
2007-11-21 07:56:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The pain partly comes from your hymen(cherry) being broken(popped) by his pensi when it goes inside your vagina. When that little peice of skin is torn inside of you it will hurt and you will bleed.
The other part for pain is the 1st time your vagina is being penetrated by a penis. Thei is the 1st time you're vagina is being stretched. It will feel good and hurt at the same time.
One bad thing is that him being a teen boy, will squirt his sperm pretty fast. Sex won't last long enough for you to enjoy, only him.
2007-11-21 07:59:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My opinion. FIrst off, if you are afraid at all do not do it. You should only have sex if you are 100percet sure it is what is best for you and your relationship. If you are doing it just for him or to hold on to him you are doing yourself a disservice. Most women who lost heir virginity early in life, as a teen REGRET IT. I have never ever heard anyone say...wow I am glad I lost my virginity early! But, I have heard many times women that were glad that they waited. WAIT!
2007-11-21 07:58:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋