She Says I need to trust God?

Question

My girlfriend of almost 4 years ended our relationship not so long ago. She says we wont get back together, but then says I need to trust God. That if were meant to be he'll bring us back together. She says she's not pursuring other relationships, but that I dont need to force " us " on her, and whatever happens-happens. Then when I'm not so available to her, she doesnt like it so much, she wants to call from time to time, or invite me out to lunch or something, and when she does she still flirts with me. She's pretty stubborn, and says no we won't, but then she'll say God who created the world and me can change my mind. That if she is the desire of my heart, I need to trust Him, before he'll ever give her back. I know it may sound weird in todays modern world, but these are the facts. I still love her, and the way she acts I'd say she still loves me, but just says no when it comes to us dating again. I think she wants to see some change in me, and when I do she'll be ready for us.

She has wanted to see some effort from me for awhile now, and I wasnt the best at giving it. Now when I'm giving it she says she doesnt want it. I don't know what to think, because when I do back away she calls and gets upset, will she want me back, when I prove myself?

Answer 1

The reason she's not taking you back is because it took her ending the relationship for you to finally start putting in some effort. And if you have changed she needs to see if it's actuallu real or something temporrary that will go away if you guys do get back together. She's just watching out for herself.

Answer 2

Ah yes, the old "if we were meant to be together, (insert magical force here) will make it happen."
That line is total BS. She has downgraded your relationship to just friends. She is too cowradly to break it off completely and be up front and honest saying she does not want to be with you romantically anymore. That's how she feels but she cannot admit it because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. On top of that she is selfish enough to string you along tossing you little scraps of attention every now and then, so you will remain there as a friend she wants and who cares about her. Nevermind the fact she doesn't care about you enough to cut you lose.

Sorry, dude. She still has some growing up to do. And the last thing you need is to be around her in any way. Turn the opposite direction and run like hell. Don't look back. Yes, it's hard. Yeah, it feels like you still have a chance. But you don't have a chance. She may sleep with you again a couple times. You might even convince her to come back. But things will never be like they were before. She will just leave again, and again and again if you let her. It's over. Get out of there before she stomps on your heart even more.

Answer 3

you can't win, with this one. For whatever reason, right now she doesn't want to be with you, and if you try to puzzle it out more than that, you'll just drive yourself crazy. She probably doesn't even entirely know, herself, what she wants from you, if anything.

What she's saying is, "If it's meant to be then it will be". In other words, she won't promise you that you will NEVER be together again. But for right now, you are broken up, and she's telling you to accept this and go away for now.

Don't bother with trying to show effort. Effort is for when you are in a relationship, not after it's over. Effort during a relationship can help things - but effort after a relationship only makes it worse, because it proves to her that she can have you anytime without any effort at all. Back off, show that when she leaves you, you really are going to be gone. Then maybe she'll miss you more. She can't miss you so long as you're still right there trying to come back.

Answer 4

It really annoys me when people use God like a bat to excuse their bad behavior and failure to take responsibility. For four years? I think it's time to move on. I understand your feelings but do you really want to wake up to this kind of manipulation every day for the rest of your life? I think it's a good idea to take a break (no calls, no lunches, no contact) and see how you feel in three months (six months would be even better).

Acting like she's interested when you start moving away strikes me as manipulative and mean.

What her "arguments" about God fail to take into account is the fact that He gave us free will which includes the freedom to act like a jackass. You can do so much better. Learn whatever life lesson you need to learn from this experience. (Okay, maybe you need to be more giving, more involved, but that doesn't mean you need to be a yo-yo, either).
I wish you the absolute best.

Answer 5

Real love is not about playing some kind of game. Sounds like your girlfriend doesn't really want you anymore, but she's not quite ready for someone else to have you yet either. Guys do this to girls all the time. "I still want to make sweet monkey love with you, but you're not really worthy of actually being with me, sorry baby." You should make a clean break ASAP, move on. All she really wants from you is your suffering.

Answer 6

She is trying to set you up as her safety net or plan B.

Meaning, if things don't go so well with the next guy, you are her fall back plan until another guy comes along.

Don't be her chump man! Descend those testicles and move on to another woman. Variety is the true spice of life!

Now stop feeling sorry for yourself, get out there and enjoy!

Good luck.

Answer 7

Wooo. Four years is a long time to have that kind of relationship hanging over you. That has to be painful. Get out while you can still breath.....

Answer 8

Think of all the good times you had, cherish them, then go on with your life. I still love the memory of many of the women I dated, but life must go on.
You can not marry a person who wants to manipulate you. Besides maybe its her attitude that god wants to change.
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If you love something let it go. If it comes back its yours, if it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with.

Answer 9

it sounds to me like she's ready for more lovers.

This is why she doesn't want the two of you together anymore....and leave it in GODS hands.

Whatever.

Tell her to go get a few lovers under her belt and then she can get married like all the other women do.

Answer 10

She might be waiting for you to have the same religious faith as her. If her faith won't allow her to be with you then that would be a good reason why she is as she is. Why don't you discuss her and see if this is what she is expects from you.